Bill-splitting

[Clemsie]

Five of us had dinner last night - two couples and myself (I’m a single parent). At the end when the bill arrived, one of the couples declared that the bill would be split three ways. I’m not sure how it made sense that a bill for a party of five was split three ways but was too embarrassed to say anything. As a result I’m £20 out of pocket. AIBU to think that the bill should not
have been split three ways? Also, should I just stay quiet about the £20 and never go out with them again? What is the correct bill-splitting etiquette in this situation?

Sorry haven’t read all of the posts but just wanted to say I’m surprised the other couple didn’t pipe up and say that was unfair on your behalf. Both couples are CF!

OP?

It should be divided into 5 and then the couples pay for two shares. Quite obviously it should be that - I can’t see any reason why anyone on here would think otherwise. The reason this happened is because it benefitted 4 of them so they all kept quiet about the unfairness. You probably won’t want the confrontation but, if you feel bold enough, if they suggest going out again you should message the CF person who came up with the bill splitting idea and say you’d be happy to but last time the bill was split wrongly and you paid the same share as the couples and you won’t be paying for them this time. Really the two couples should be treating you to a free meal!

Every time you go out, ask for a seperate bill, that way nobody can charge you for their order. So very easy. Might mean that others order less too as they can't dump the cost on someone else. I always do this, always.

£20 can also be a huge amount, depending on your personal circumstances.

If I felt I had to do that, I wouldn't go out.

I like eating out, but not with people who would happily screw over a 'friend.'

Whether or not you trust them to not be dicks about the bill is generally a fairly good acid test for whether they're people you should be socialising with.

I had friends that were renowned for ordering loads of food, and expensive dishes, cocktails, bubbles, coffee, dessert etc and always wanted to split the bill.

My husband didn't like them (my friends) and knew they were cf, but got wise and once on a night out, they ordered the works as per usual. Unbeknown to me, once we finished, my husband went up and paid for what we had ate and drank.
When the CF suggested we "just split the bill", my husband said its OK, I paid ours on the way back from the loos.

Turned out they didn't have enough money to cover their share. My husband asked why they ordered so much if they didn't have the money, and followed by saying in sure you'll work something out with the owner and headed for our taxi.
Never went out with them again 🤣🤣

Obviously unfair.

Obviously it should have been split 5 ways and like other pp have said it's odd no one asked even if you did not. I wouldn't say anything about it. I find with close friends it sort of evens out in the long run but if they aren't close I would think about whether I want to see them again...

That's crazy. You should have said something! Bit late now.

Why would you be embarrased your not 14. I would of quickly done the maths and put my bit in with tip.

And in my case , when you eventually think ‘not doing this shit anymore’ and stand up for yourself, you become the bad person and get the cold shoulder… best up saying before you become the one that’s easily used!

Did you happen to order something much more expensive than the others? Or you had several drinks while they had water?

It’s the only way for that couple to justify the claim bill should be split 3 ways.

This is epic. You have a keeper there in your husband, @Whammyyammy!

Your silence cost you £20 not the other diners. I'd forget about that, and work on assertiveness for the future.

Iv been in this position before in the past, too shy to speak up...wouldn't happen to me now tho!!! U live and learn...let it go now but be prepared for the next time! Just say something simple like....yep il pay for my own if that's OK and u guys can split what's left whatever way u want! In my experience people that have done this to me,knew exactly what they were fuckin doing!

Depends what you had.

But if it was me, I'd send them a message saying please can you send me x amount.
I didn't realise at the time that when we paid in three parts, it wasn't taken into account that I was not paying as a couple, and therefore should have been paying 1/5 of the bill. Instead of me paying 2/6 (so effectively paying double what every other person did).

Although ideally you'd have said something at the time. You can't go back in time now.

Also if the amount you're asking for back is quite small then I'd let it slide and learn the lesson today to speak up for yourself.
You have a right to say no to things. Or just say I'd rather just pay for what I had.

If the bill was £200 and you paid £66,
Ideally you would have paid £40. So getting £26 is quite a chonk.
But if the bill was like £40 total, so you were paying £13 instead of £8, it's a bit harder to ask for £5 back. Especially when it's £2.5 per couple. And they're your friends.

Maybe also everyone didn't eat the same price of food and drinks. Maybe you had three courses and a bottle of wine and the couples just had soups. In that case it would be fair to split it three ways. Maybe you even pay more! It really does depend on what everyone ordered.

But if you go out for a meal, set your boundaries at the start if you're worrying about money splitting. Just say I want to pay for what I have tonight. Something like that.

If this is something you struggle with Google how to be assertive. :)

As part of a couple, when we go out we pay for what we as the couple got and any shared bits plus a tip! So in this scenario we would have paid for 2/5ths of the bill if not slightly over.

People who say let’s just split the bill always get told a quick no from me because I don’t drink at all and so I don’t want to pay for shared alcohol etc.

Whoever suggested it was split that way shafted you OP. Why the hell would you be paying a third?!

Do remember tho that if you were drinking or eating shares nibbles and others in the couples weren’t they may have then thought it fair to split more like 3 ways? But this is why splitting bills doesn’t work, just pay for what you had plus tip!

But then they wouldn't say let's split it equally!

I am still thinking this is a mistake -saying splitting equally meant 5 ways (on 3 cards) but the waiter misunderstood.

But the op never came back so we don't know if it's just a made up daily Mail story