Bill-splitting

[Clemsie]

Five of us had dinner last night - two couples and myself (I’m a single parent). At the end when the bill arrived, one of the couples declared that the bill would be split three ways. I’m not sure how it made sense that a bill for a party of five was split three ways but was too embarrassed to say anything. As a result I’m £20 out of pocket. AIBU to think that the bill should not
have been split three ways? Also, should I just stay quiet about the £20 and never go out with them again? What is the correct bill-splitting etiquette in this situation?

i think @Attractedtotheofflimits is the CF that ripped OP off.

Wow. I can't believe that one of the couples didn't point out how unfair it was. I would have.

Tbh OP, I'd personally say nothing, but only because I could afford to cover it, I'd also make sure I was more prepared in future. What you do is up to you though, and I don't think you'd be unreasonable to raise it.

I think you've been treated unfairly, and I'd have been too embarrassed to say anything at the time too.

Then surely, paying fairly wouldn't have bankrupted the smug marrieds...

I'm single, eat out a lot... have never in my life been out with a group of friends that suggest splitting by pair/singles equally - and if anyone did I'd challenge it.
If they're such good friends, why are you embarrassed to mention it?

I wouldn't dream of making a friend be £20 out of pocket.

I also don't know how you know that £20 isn't breaking the bank for the OP.

Is that you Ann Widdecombe?

Agree. I'm assuming the person meant it for simplicity and didn't actually do the maths and realise the implication tbf. Very annoying though! Next time speak up! Or just pay for your own.

I wouldn't do anything about it now OP but going forward it's not unreasonable to say something. It was unfair of them for not thinking that you would be paying more.

If OP was out of pocket by £20, then if you do the sums the actual figures are much starker. Total meal was £150. £30 would have been her fair share but she was made to shell out £50 instead, and each of the couples saved £10 thanks to her subsidy.

Should be fairly straightforward to ask for it back under the circumstances as pp have suggested.

That being the case, there's absolutely no reason each couple shouldn't pay the 10 they owe to OP!

They took the piss. The bill should have been split equally per person, not per couple.

Do people not know how to do maths? OP paid a third, which is more than a fifth. A third for a couple mean the couples ended up paying a sixth. Spoiler alert a fifth is more than sixth. It's just bad manners really. The only thing is if OP had more expensive food or drinks then she may have been better off.

They're either CFers, or they're shit at maths.

It would have made sense to split it 5 ways but only have 3 people pay.

I.e. you would have paid 20% and one person from each couple would have paid 40%.

Erm no, don’t do this.

You didn’t say anything at the time so why is it okay to message now? Can’t you speak up in person?

Sorry but I will never understand these types of threads. You had an opportunity to say something at the restaurant but you didn’t. If these are your friends and people that you’re choosing to socialise with, a simple ‘oh sorry guys can we split the bill this way instead’ would have solved the problem.

Now you’re on the internet complaining. What heck are we supposed to do?!

Why didn't you say. That's not correct. It's split 5 Ways ?

You should have said something!!!

Completely crazy to me that you didn't simply say "I'll just pay for what I had". That £20 was your pushover tax.

It's not the £20, it's the £20 more than her fair share of the bill she's bothered about.

As these are friends, I don’t really understand why you didn’t say anything at the time. I think it’s too late now.

In future, just say “oh so there’s five of us, so my share is £x.”

I eat out fairly often in large groups, and we always take the booze off first, so non drinkers aren’t paying for a share of that. It doesn’t have to be down to the minutiae of who ate the salad and who had the steak, but a little adjustment means nobody feels taken advantage of.

I often go out for meals in a group of five (two couples and one single person) and we always split it by five. That's just not on.

Are you always so rude?

How rude. Next time have a plan. You can either ask for a separate bill at the beginning or get in first and say my share is x amount.
But you shouldn’t have to do anything. They were rude.

For the next time OP, remember that they did NOT say (although they implied) split it into 3 EQUAL parts.

So you smile sweetly saying ‘sure, here’s my 1/5th.’ They look surprised. You smile again and say ‘ooh there’s only one of me.’

From £30 to £50 is quite a jump, nearly twice as much. Even if I could afford to set light to £20 notes it would still bother me that I had had the piss taken out of me by people I thought I was having a nice time with. It sounds like £20 was a significant sum to the OP, budget wise, and many people (I am one) have a deep dislike of chucking away money, even quite 'small' amounts. If I was filthy rich the piss take aspect would bother me even more. I would definitely speak in person to whoever it was took charge at bill time (I'm guessing it was a male of one of the couples) and let them know how I felt, and if that led to no more invites, well, I've dodged some expensive bullets. I also think the people who are talking about 'pushover tax' are cruel and lacking in empathy.

I would text the wives , say you were put on the spot last night but it wasn’t fair for you to pay the same as two people. Could they please consider transferring you £10 each.