Bill-splitting

[Clemsie]

Five of us had dinner last night - two couples and myself (I’m a single parent). At the end when the bill arrived, one of the couples declared that the bill would be split three ways. I’m not sure how it made sense that a bill for a party of five was split three ways but was too embarrassed to say anything. As a result I’m £20 out of pocket. AIBU to think that the bill should not
have been split three ways? Also, should I just stay quiet about the £20 and never go out with them again? What is the correct bill-splitting etiquette in this situation?

Splitting by five and two people paying double lots and you paying a single lot would make way more sense to me - depending what was ordered? If you all ordered the same, then that makes sense. If you ordered an extra starter / pudding / cocktails then you should pay more. If they ordered extra and you didn't, you should pay even less!

Next time (if there is one) just ask for a separate bill when the waiter takes your order. It's clear from the start then.

I'm honestly assuming just shit at maths and meant no malice. I don't think I'd bother saying anything now but it would irk me. Agree with PP, next time have a plan

Your friends are either stupid and can’t count heads or can’t see the logic of two couples and a single person doesn’t mean you divide bill into 3 rather than 5 or they’re just mean. Either way I would distance myself from them.

I hate this attitude
The bill should have been split five ways. It's not that it's just £20, it's the fact that OP has paid for someone else to eat
The OP should feel no shame, the others should. It's embarrassing

Happened to my friend the other day, her £20 meal ended up £40, food wasn’t good either, and she’s not amused. I think she is raising it with them, as it didn’t really occur to her at the time.
Happened with us too, years ago at a birthday party, husband realised we were going to be stuck paying for all the meals and cocktails that they were all downing, whilst we were not drinking, so he insisted I have a lovely drink, as we would be paying for all theirs anyway. Bill was enormous. I still moan about it 😂

That comment should be directed at the couples looking to have their meals subsided, no?

This is on you OP 🤷‍♀️ Use your words

You should have said at the time. This has happened to me a few times and I always say. Couples for some reason think that singles have more disposable income.

That's insane!!

Good lord! I’m so sorry @Clemsie That was so thoughtless and selfish of your companions. Your friends are really not your friends. I’d back away.

But I understand your silence at the time - such thoughtlessness takes one aback. So unexpected and unfair, they caught you on the back foot.

I hope at least one of the selfish foursome is having second thoughts about their appalling behaviour.

Never be embarrassed to call out something like this. People will take advantage. I personally like individual bills then there can be no personal umbrage taken ever. I can easily afford to sub people and not feel aggrieved if I haven’t had pudding but some people do not like it so it just stops any issues. Mind you I got a bit tipsy at a dinner two weeks ago and paid for everyone. What you really want to be OP is Chinese because culturally senior family members traditionally fight over who is paying the bill. I was not with my family and was with my white friends, old school friends so no senior member and not their culture but was feeling generous. I’m taking my nieces and nephews out in a few weeks, I will be paying for everyone.

Really shabby behaviour.

There are some awfully mean people out there.

Learn to speak up for yourself.

It really isn't normal to accept behaviourike this.

I'm stunned that no one spoke up. Even assuming he made a genuine error.

Are these people normally good friends?

Be prepared if this happens in future. Speak up. Say, oh there's only one of me so I'll just pay a fifth.

In fact I think it was greed on the part of the couples, but it if was a case of poor numeracy I despair. It's not even 'maths' (algebra, calculus, etc), it's simple arithmetic. The fear of numbers that seems everywhere really worries me. Even people who can do simple mental arithmetic are branded as 'nerds' these days. No wonder people get defrauded by bitcoin scams. The situation would make a simple school test question. Two couples and a single person go out to to dinner, and the bill is split three ways instead of five. The single person feels the bill should have been calculated per-person, and that their share should have been £20 less. What was the total bill?

Unless you are / drank more or much more everyone else this is incredibly rude.

That's amazing that none of your friends realised that splitting it three ways was unfair.

That happened to me once and, to be fair, it was a stupid oversight on the part of the person who suggested it; we’d agreed a “let’s split the bill” approach and that was the way he did it. It took his wife to hiss “but there are two of us, Paul and only one of Wimpole” to make the point. I’m amazed someone else didn’t think of that to save you a bit of embarrassment; alternatively, you needed to say “hang on, there’s only one of me and two of both of you!”. But I can understand that it feels a bit embarrassing in the moment.

I had to go in the garden and have a cigarette but I came up with this

b is the bill amount
b/3 - b/5 = 20
find lowest common multiple of 5 & 3
it's 15
turn both fractions into 15ths
5b/15 - 3b/15 = 20
2b/15 = 20
b/15 = 10
b = 150

They're cheap cunts.

Definitely the type to try and do a couples round when it's they're twist

They were being very unreasonable but you should have spoken up.

I'm amazed that four people sat there and let you pay more. Or maybe it's just four people unbelievably shit at maths.

You can't raise it now it's too late but I can understand it's an awkward conversation at the time. I've had this before and the thick at maths people look at you like your the one being a petty cheeky fucker then you have to start explaining to the thickos why your not the cheeky fucker but they are but they're so thick they don't get it and you are left feeling like shit for even raising it....I've been there!

"3 ways? But there's 5 of us?"

That's how I tend to handle situations like this. However, it's done now - I don't think I'd necessarily bother about trying to claim back the money, but I'd be on my guard next time to avoid a similar situation.

That’s definitely not ok. Either split between the number of people (if you’ve eaten / drink roughly the same) or pay for what each person had

If you don't do something about it, don't moan about it afterwards

Agree with this! Why should one income subsidise two?! Unless there's a massive drip feed where you're actually a millionaire but even then you shouldn't pay for their food!

@Attractedtotheofflimits good lord use your brain! The OP CAN afford the £20, she just perhaps can't (or shouldn't have to) pay £20 ON TOP to subsidise other people.

Are you one of the couples in this situation?