Who's being a CF here?

[Thatleadsingersbiggestfan]

Ok so help solve this for me please.
DP will be moving in with me & my 2 primary aged DS's later part of this year, date to be confirmed. DP is lovely and both DS's love him.
He has one DD, teens who lives with ex.

Been together 18 months. DP is generally generous. Basic job basic pay, retail.
DP currently living with his dad in his childhood room, only paying £40pw so basically being subsidised to a degree. Dad selling up and moving in with GF soon.
DP has no property, his ex had own house before they met.
I have my own home, mortgaged currently (pretty low payments at this stage) but will be paid off within 5 years or less.

This is also a WWYD.
DP keeps looking at house stuff, ornaments, knick knacks, and furniture etc, yes it's nice he's looking ahead.
Here's the but.
My bedroom furniture will need to be changed, mine is virtually new and I'm happy with it, but DP is tall so he wants to upgrade to a bigger and longer bed (I'm petite) and he also wants a taller wardrobe etc. Fair enough.
He's assuming that I'm going to pay for these?? Or he'll 'chip in' I think where his words when we spoke about it after Xmas. Like it's a favour 🤑.
For context I have a tiny bit of rainy day savings, which I've already eaten into. Struggling like everyone else right now.
I have a low wage p/t job, no means to increase and no support with DSs, no family nearby etc, I get CTC and WFTC, both of which I'll lose once he's moved in.
Should I be telling him he's got to buy the bedroom furniture himself?
I don't feel happy effectively paying for him to move in with me, saving himself maybe 1200pm + in rent and bills he'd have paid once his DF moves away.
Would you expect your shortfall covered at the very least?
Context again, I pay what I can, proportional to my earnings when we go out as a couple, often more than I can afford, but usually less than half.
I don't want to make money from him, but I also don't want to be using any of my own, which I class as for my 2 boys only, to essentially subsidise him moving into my large property cheaply (is-that-even-a-word)
Opinions please MNers!

😂😂😂😂😂

Oh I've no indication btw that he won't want to pay fairly, re bills etc. We are yet to have that chat. As I said, he's generous mostly.

I know its hard to see from where you are now, but that is a red flag. Given his cheeky fuckery over demanding you pay for something he wants, the odds go up that its loan sharking, not generosity.

The very thing I was wanting to ask!

Taller wardrobe because he is tall? Don't be so bloody ridiculous 🙄

Apart from that DONT MOVE THE COCKLODGER IN

Have you got the message yet @Thatleadsingersbiggestfan ? 😂

Wise words @billy1966. OP is still behind the wardrobe. But you can probably see her head poking over the top of it given it's so teeny.

So he's moved from parents home into ex wife's owned home then moved back to parents once split with ex wife and now his dad is selling up and in with his partner he decides it's time to shack up with you?

Sounds like he's a man child who's never stood on his own two feet and has financially leeched off others to cover his housing needs.

If you break up where will he go?

OP is clearly chomping at the bit to let herself get royally mugged off. Go away with the wardrobe rubbish, you knew exactly what was going to happen here.

As so often, first post nails it.

Run like the wind OP

@Floofydawg @Goodoccasionallypoor

Or sleep in it? Might solve the bed problem at least. And makes him a VCF.

Or a vampire possibly 🧛‍♂️

😂😂😂😂

A Vampire Cheeky Fucker

Need a like button - wise words.

This

he's moving in and you haven't agreed how you will share the bills?????????

Tell him he needs to be paying you £150 per week rent (that's what my student son pays for one room in a HMO with no sitting room).
Then he needs to pay you £50 a week for food.
Then he needs to pay you what you've lost in benefits.
Ask him how £1500 per month sounds?
See how he reacts to that.

Trying not to laugh too hard at all the VCF/VCL simultaneous observations…

There are so many of these threads, where women have gone through hell to finally have their own place with their own furniture etc, and then some bloke comes along and wants to move in and completely take advantage.

There is another thread on here where a woman's new partner threw away all her furniture, replaced it, but then when they split up, wanted to take the replacements even though hers was fine in the first place.

Why are you putting yourself through this? Why not look for a bloke with his own place? Why not look for someone who is equal to you in terms of independence and money. I'm not saying look for a rich guy. Just look away from those who want to take what you have.

He should pay rent (a decent amount). He should pay a share of the bills. You both should gain - you from the rent, him because it will be cheaper than £1,200 pcm privately

Why on earth was Billy1966's post deleted? I was in the middle of quoting it with approval and it's gone.

What you’re saying (I want to protect my house for my boys/my money and priority is my children) and what you’re doing (moving in someone who isn’t financially secure and will take away rather than add to the household) are at odds with each other.

Your words don’t match the story that your actions show.

Why has @billy1966's post been deleted? It was mint!

In the wise words of Wanda the owl "When you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags"

OP consider taking the glasses off and having another long hard look at what you're getting yourself into.

OP a minute ago: