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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think holidays with kids are a bit shite?

141 replies

Moosethroat · 30/05/2023 15:27

Currently abroad with DD7. For the most part, she is okay and we are having a good time but I'm honestly fed up of the spoilt, entitled behaviour. You'd think she took ME away. Just us so no one else to leave her with so I can have a break. We've had some really lovely experiences together: jetski, quads, parasailing etc but just fed up of having to constantly remind her about her behaviour or the way she is talking to me etc, wayyy more than I would at home, it's making me feel on edge like what next. Also she just wants to rush through EVERYTHING no matter how many times I have to remind her that there is plenty of time to do everything and we don't need to do 10 things in one day. I don't want to say its spoiling my time, but I'm definitely reconsidering whether to do this again for the next few years but I want to be able offer her experiences in new countries (and myself!) but thousands of pounds to not feel relaxed doesn't feel like a good deal lol

OP posts:
Watchinghurling · 30/05/2023 15:29

No shit sherlock 😆 you have to wait til they're at uni to have a relaxing holiday again. I haven't had a relaxing holiday in 9 years.

Original poster
Moosethroat · 30/05/2023 15:31

Lmao damn I must have missed this chapter in the parenting book then 😩😂

OP posts:
PinkyU · 30/05/2023 15:34

Unfortunately I think it’s less about the environment and more about the way she believes it’s acceptable to behave. That said with lots of full on days I’m sure tiredness has a part to play, but yeah, if you’re finding her behaviour spoiled there’s sadly not too far to look.

(I feel horrible saying that but sometimes it takes an outside perspective to initiate a bit of change).

Whereisthesummer · 30/05/2023 15:34

We’ve just said this… a week in Spain with a 2 year old…. The word holiday does not come into it
turned into a no sleep fussy eater that the nicest all Inc buffet could not please at all
favourite word has turned into no and only wanted toys other children had!!!
might just stay in the garden next year

FloofCloud · 30/05/2023 15:34

Lol take them to a place that has a kids club, cinema, kids disco etc .. albeit you'll need to be nearby you would get some down time 🤩
Try to enjoy the rest of your hols

Sunnysunbun · 30/05/2023 15:35

Wait until you have teenagers.

littleripper · 30/05/2023 15:37

Does she do this at home?
My fav holidays were with DC and I am clinging on taking them away for a month at 19 and 20 this summer. But I was always very clear about expectations - everyone had 'holiday jobs' to do everyday - just hanging towels, rinsing swimsuits, getting ice, putting things in the fridge. From being really small everyone organises one day out (I used to pay for it all and help now they pay and I am surprised). It takes a lot of chatting - setting expectations and ensuring they don't get too tired/hungry etc but by making the planning a joint effort we also made the positive results a joint effort.

Original poster
Moosethroat · 30/05/2023 15:39

PinkyU · 30/05/2023 15:34

Unfortunately I think it’s less about the environment and more about the way she believes it’s acceptable to behave. That said with lots of full on days I’m sure tiredness has a part to play, but yeah, if you’re finding her behaviour spoiled there’s sadly not too far to look.

(I feel horrible saying that but sometimes it takes an outside perspective to initiate a bit of change).

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by this comment. If the behaviour was an issue at home, believe me we would not be on holiday.

OP posts:
PizzaPastaWine · 30/05/2023 15:40

PinkyU · 30/05/2023 15:34

Unfortunately I think it’s less about the environment and more about the way she believes it’s acceptable to behave. That said with lots of full on days I’m sure tiredness has a part to play, but yeah, if you’re finding her behaviour spoiled there’s sadly not too far to look.

(I feel horrible saying that but sometimes it takes an outside perspective to initiate a bit of change).

I agree with this.

Until you can work on ways to curb her spoilt and entitled behaviour thus will only continue.

I'd start by doing less so she appreciates more.

Original poster
Moosethroat · 30/05/2023 15:41

Sunnysunbun · 30/05/2023 15:35

Wait until you have teenagers.

BELIEVABLE! Have already witnessed a teenage meltdown from another child who swears their parents don't do anything for them lol

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 30/05/2023 15:41

Honestly the most relaxing holiday I’ve had with my kids (similar ages) was Center Parcs. Safe, activities they can do on their own, child friendly restaurants but you can cook or make a sandwich in your own lodge and plenty of fresh air so they can go to sleep. Totally worth the ridiculous price!

My theory post kids is any holiday you would have loved pre-kids will be utterly shit, but anything you would have hated pre-kids will probably be better than you think. That said a house by a beach somewhere quiet (like Scotland or Northumberland) is also a good choice.

Original poster
Moosethroat · 30/05/2023 15:45

For the record, the spoilt behaviour DOES NOT happen at home. Hence the thread called 'holidays' not 'home life with a kid.'

I don't spoil, DD has jobs at home and keeps on top of them to earn pocket money which she then saves to buy something she wants. Admittedly, this holiday is a break from the usual monotony of life chores and admin and maybe that's why she is being like this but don't appreciate the comments insinuating that this is an issue outside of being on holiday as I would neverrr pay thousands to put up with this when I can do it for free at home

OP posts:
Original poster
Moosethroat · 30/05/2023 15:48

FloofCloud · 30/05/2023 15:34

Lol take them to a place that has a kids club, cinema, kids disco etc .. albeit you'll need to be nearby you would get some down time 🤩
Try to enjoy the rest of your hols

We have a kids club but tbh I'm a single parent and find it hard to leave her with strangers so I'm obviously putting myself through this at this point 😂

OP posts:
CalistoNoSolo · 30/05/2023 15:50

I love going away with DD and have done since she was tiny. She's nearly 19 now and still comes on holidays and weekends away with me and as she's great company I'm very happy to pay for her. She has never treated me the way your DD treats you, and while children have different personalities, DD has been brought up to be respectful (and as importantly, respected) and understand how lucky she is to have holidays etc. Maybe look at how you treat your DD and what behaviour you tolerate in your normal life. She's only 7, that's very young to be treating you like this.

Oopsiedaisyy · 30/05/2023 15:50

Oh lordy well I'm taking my two away this summer alone, and its, either going to go well or hellish. Hoping to throw youngest in a kids club while his sister and I enjoy the pool and she sits on her phone.

Luckily I share custody so get nice holidays too 😁

doitwithlove · 30/05/2023 15:52

@Moosethroat - give yourself a break by putting dd into the holiday club for an hour. Sit nearby with a book or ya phone and a drink. Even an hour without dd may give you a chance to refresh your mind.

BellaJuno · 30/05/2023 15:54

Is it possible she is over-stimulated with all the activities and needs a quieter day? Sounds like you’re doing a lot of adrenaline type activities, maybe a pool day or similar would help.

CBAironing · 30/05/2023 15:55

So you’re being a martyr by not leaving her with a kids club even though you admit that you could to get some valued time to yourself? What do you really want people to say then?

TomatoSandwiches · 30/05/2023 15:55

I think calling it a holiday when you take the kids is an oxymoron, absolutely not worth it.

PixieLaLa · 30/05/2023 15:57

Yeah, it’s not a holiday…. 😂

PinkyU · 30/05/2023 15:57

My apologies, I thought you’d said that you have to speak to her about the same behaviour at home, just less.

Speermint · 30/05/2023 15:57

A holiday with kids is just the same shit in a different location. You can’t go out for a drink or relax, can’t go out in the evening to enjoy yourself, because you’re constantly on duty. In fact there’s more risk than there is at home so you have to be even more vigilant than usual. It’s really only a holiday for the kids and you need to approach it on that basis. You get no real holidays until they’re grown up, unless you’re one of the lucky few who has someone to leave them with while you swan off.

Twinsmummy1812 · 30/05/2023 16:00

Perhaps dial back the ‘entertaining’ a bit? One activity a day and a nice meal, the rest of the time sunbathe or mooch around a market? You could be making a rod for your own back by being a one woman bodyform advert, the more you do the more they tend to expect!

Being cheeky is a whole other ballgame. Absolutely not okay. I used to find a “who do you think you are talking to?” quite effective.
she’s old enough now to occupy herself for a bit. Read quietly for an hour and I’ll paintball your nails for dinner type of incentive 😉. Believe it or not you’ll miss her when she is a teenager and beyond!

MsRosley · 30/05/2023 16:01

CalistoNoSolo · 30/05/2023 15:50

I love going away with DD and have done since she was tiny. She's nearly 19 now and still comes on holidays and weekends away with me and as she's great company I'm very happy to pay for her. She has never treated me the way your DD treats you, and while children have different personalities, DD has been brought up to be respectful (and as importantly, respected) and understand how lucky she is to have holidays etc. Maybe look at how you treat your DD and what behaviour you tolerate in your normal life. She's only 7, that's very young to be treating you like this.

Well, that told you, didn't it, OP? If only you could be as perfect as this charming and not at all boastful and smug mother.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 30/05/2023 16:03

Going on holiday with small children is pointless. It is a lot of work for parents and the DC would be just as happy going to a play park or building a castle out of a cardboard box. They don't remember the holiday and the parents have flashbacks to nappy blow outs, tantrums, and suddenly discovering their DC have an aversion to sand, or the ocean or are deathly afraid of being eaten by crabs.

We took DMIL away to the beach for her birthday. The DC were into Thomas the Tank Engine. By the end of the holiday everyone, including child free DBIL and DSIL, were singing 'Boo boo choo choo, don't be afraid of the dark'. The earworm from hell. That is pretty much all I remember of the holiday, let alone the DC.