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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think holidays with kids are a bit shite?

141 replies

Moosethroat · 30/05/2023 15:27

Currently abroad with DD7. For the most part, she is okay and we are having a good time but I'm honestly fed up of the spoilt, entitled behaviour. You'd think she took ME away. Just us so no one else to leave her with so I can have a break. We've had some really lovely experiences together: jetski, quads, parasailing etc but just fed up of having to constantly remind her about her behaviour or the way she is talking to me etc, wayyy more than I would at home, it's making me feel on edge like what next. Also she just wants to rush through EVERYTHING no matter how many times I have to remind her that there is plenty of time to do everything and we don't need to do 10 things in one day. I don't want to say its spoiling my time, but I'm definitely reconsidering whether to do this again for the next few years but I want to be able offer her experiences in new countries (and myself!) but thousands of pounds to not feel relaxed doesn't feel like a good deal lol

OP posts:
Snowpatrolling · 30/05/2023 16:07

Currently away with my 15 year old and 11 year old daughters in Spain. My 15 year old is being vile. Swearing at me at the top of her voice. Talking to me and her sister like utter shit. Just being an entitled little shit. I dont have enough money to come home early. Me and her sister are so fucking g depressed. 3 more days to go. Never again. :(

CalistoNoSolo · 30/05/2023 16:09

MsRosley · 30/05/2023 16:01

Well, that told you, didn't it, OP? If only you could be as perfect as this charming and not at all boastful and smug mother.

Show quote history

Stating facts isn't boasting, but if it makes you feel better about yourself to call me boasty and smug then fill your boots.

Nevermind31 · 30/05/2023 16:09

I just wouldn’t do do many activities. Go to the beach. A playground. A hike.
seems like you booked a massive amount of stuff so now she is just expecting that

Pipsquiggle · 30/05/2023 16:10

Just come here to say this - YES

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 30/05/2023 16:11

We have never been away just us as a family, we always go with friends who also have kids/same situation as us as then there is more adults to split the parenting between. Each couple can have a night off as the other can babysit, and during the day we take it in turns watching the kids and doing something we want to do. Good mix for everyone to then enjoy the holiday

MotorwayDiva · 30/05/2023 16:12

Adjust expectations and constantly, so plan a few things in advance and see what want to do, let them know they don't have to 100% do everything there and then. So if feel overwhelmed take away from noisy places etc I've just come back from 4 days away with dd7 and enjoyed it, she was exhausted yesterday evening so made sure she sat and chilled out book or ipad are really useful in that situation. Good luck for next trip

zoemum2006 · 30/05/2023 16:13

You said you were a single parent.... is it just you with your DD ? I loved holidays with my girls when they were little (they are teens now!!) but I don't think I'd have enjoyed it without another adult to chat to.

She's probably just a bit discombobulated with the change of scene and routine. I'd been tempted to let it slide a bit and get her back into shape when you're home.

soberfabulous · 30/05/2023 16:13

It doesn't have to be like this...my DD is 9 and we holiday together a lot and it's joyful. We've just come back from a long weekend away together without DH and have booked a solo girls trip for October half term.

But we get on really well at home and enjoy one another's company a lot. How is your relationship when you're not at home? Are you close?

Lwrenagain · 30/05/2023 16:18

(Some of my kids are additional needs so bit different)

But DP and I always say that holidays and days out with the kids are a bit shit until that night when we're in bed and saying to each other, "Oh but didn't they love this/wasn't DC2 so happy/do you remember 2 hours ago on the way home DC3 got his head stuck in a fence/DC1 puked up just as we pulled into the drive" and we scroll through the days pictures and are happy they had a lovely time, even if we've just taken 3 years off our lives with stress.

Your DD is over excited and tired and it's a new environment to regulate.
She doesn't sound spoilt, she sounds like she's just overwhelmed with excitement.
If there is a kids club take advantage, she might make some friends and you read a book in the sun and drink some fancy cocktails! It's your holiday too! Enjoy!

Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy · 30/05/2023 16:20

I think its the lack of routine and sleep mixed in with excitement makes kids crazy plus I think parents have high expectations of things like holidays, Christmas ect and its just not the reality. I also think being on holiday just the 2 of you is hard, it means your together 24/7 in an even smaller environment then home. The only thing I can suggest is make a plan for the day of what you want to do and what she wants to do and stick to it

dwightschrutebeets · 30/05/2023 16:25

Hm I disagree we just had an amazing 2 weeks in Dubai with our 15 month old! And I'm not saying to be goady but loads of parents are worried about going away with their kids and for us it was just the best!

SilverGlitterBaubles · 30/05/2023 16:26

Could you make a planned timetable for each day with scheduled activities and downtime so she knows what to expect? Perhaps an hour a day at kids club so you can have some time to relax, she might also make some friends and be less intense when with you.

roundtable · 30/05/2023 16:27

On year we picked the dc up from school (he must have been year 1 or 2 so a similar age) on the last day of term and went straight to the airport. Never again. He went from being the most laid back kid into a monster. Of course other child turned into perfect Peter as a consequence.

There was a lot of stopping activities and marching him up to the room. He was so rude. It was because he was so over stimulated in hindsight. We were all sharing room and he couldn't switch off. Usually he sleeps loads but couldn't and like me, he needs to be alone for a bit to decompress.

He's not a perfect child especially now he's in the throws of puberty but we have never had that rudeness before or since on holiday. Never taken him straight from school again and always have more than one room now. He's older now and goes back for quiet time when he needs to and so do I!

Maybe a quieter day tomorrow with enforced down time. Or a siesta. Ignore the posters saying your child is just badly brought up. It's shocking when they behave out of character like that but there's usually a reason if you can unpick it. It's probably more relentless as it's all just on you.

Hope the holiday becomes more enjoyable!

AuntieJune · 30/05/2023 16:27

It really annoys me when people use the word entitled come on here to call any child who gets upset spoilt and entitled.

A holiday is intended to be a treat but for children, it can just be a lot to deal with emotionally. Usually they have some autonomy over what they do, where and when, but on holiday it's a totally new environment and it can feel like their parents are calling all the shots and they're sort of dragged around the place.

They're often happier doing less. Spending money on activities with the expectation they will be delighted can backfire.

If you do something that lets kids get into a mental flow state of being really absorbed - playing on a beach, learning to play volleyball, walking in the woods etc, they're likely to have a better time than if you pack lots of stuff in.

roundtable · 30/05/2023 16:29

SilverGlitterBaubles · 30/05/2023 16:26

Could you make a planned timetable for each day with scheduled activities and downtime so she knows what to expect? Perhaps an hour a day at kids club so you can have some time to relax, she might also make some friends and be less intense when with you.

I meant to add this too. My dc are better with a loose plan for the day talked about the night before or over breakfast. If the day changes as we're all having fun doing something then fab we go with the flow.

AuntieJune · 30/05/2023 16:31

Like, when you have paragliding, all you can eat buffet, late bedtimes etc - you are effectively saying: all those boundaries you usually have are gone. So the kid asks for more to see how far that stretches, and gets stroppy when they find a (to them) arbitrary limit. They're totally working out the rules you make up as you go along. It's unsettling.

Noimaginationforaun · 30/05/2023 16:31

Ah I’m sorry that your holiday isn’t going as you expected! It’s always disappointing when you spend lots of time and money on a holiday for it not to be what you expected!

DisquietintheRanks · 30/05/2023 16:33

CalistoNoSolo · 30/05/2023 15:50

I love going away with DD and have done since she was tiny. She's nearly 19 now and still comes on holidays and weekends away with me and as she's great company I'm very happy to pay for her. She has never treated me the way your DD treats you, and while children have different personalities, DD has been brought up to be respectful (and as importantly, respected) and understand how lucky she is to have holidays etc. Maybe look at how you treat your DD and what behaviour you tolerate in your normal life. She's only 7, that's very young to be treating you like this.

The fact that you have never encountered this behaviour with your stepford daughter makes you supremely ill-equiped to offer advice don't you think?

OP she sounds a bit over-excited (the kissing cousin to stressed) to me. Are there other children around for her to play with.

Rollonannualeave · 30/05/2023 16:34

Sounds familiar. I had ptsd after the last holiday and vowed to travel alone next time.

roundtable · 30/05/2023 16:34

Snowpatrolling · 30/05/2023 16:07

Currently away with my 15 year old and 11 year old daughters in Spain. My 15 year old is being vile. Swearing at me at the top of her voice. Talking to me and her sister like utter shit. Just being an entitled little shit. I dont have enough money to come home early. Me and her sister are so fucking g depressed. 3 more days to go. Never again. :(

Sounds horrendous. Could you go out with 11 year old and leave the 15 year old behind? Even if it is just to the pool, beach or shops? The time by herself might help.

Hope it gets better for you 💐

cuckyplunt · 30/05/2023 16:35

You want to try planning a holiday with a 19yo party animal and 17yo introvert!

At least you can stick a 7yo into holiday club.
Also , you may be overdoing the activities, all a kid that age really needs is a pool, sand and a bucket and spade.

Applesinmyhouse · 30/05/2023 16:36

save your money, go to Butlins, and leave her in the kids club lol.

deplorabelle · 30/05/2023 16:40

AuntieJune · 30/05/2023 16:27

It really annoys me when people use the word entitled come on here to call any child who gets upset spoilt and entitled.

A holiday is intended to be a treat but for children, it can just be a lot to deal with emotionally. Usually they have some autonomy over what they do, where and when, but on holiday it's a totally new environment and it can feel like their parents are calling all the shots and they're sort of dragged around the place.

They're often happier doing less. Spending money on activities with the expectation they will be delighted can backfire.

If you do something that lets kids get into a mental flow state of being really absorbed - playing on a beach, learning to play volleyball, walking in the woods etc, they're likely to have a better time than if you pack lots of stuff in.

This completely. It could be she's struggling because nothing is familiar and I am wondering if she isn't having her normal downtime (eg screens, tv whatever she normally has). It feels like a waste but we found when our kids were that age they needed a bit of time with their familiar TV on a laptop or they got bewildered and started behaving awfully. Now they are teens and can be wonderfully well behaved all day so long as they can do an episode of Would I Lie to You? at night. They also need a bit of independence nowadays too and more of a say in how the days pan out.

FrenchandSaunders · 30/05/2023 16:43

With babies and toddlers it’s hard work as they still often need routine.

Older, like OPs DD, they can get a bit of attitude.
We had a few nightmare hols.

when they reached 16/17 I thought we were on the home stretch …. they spent that holiday trying to get either pissed or laid, very stressful.

At 18 they went off with friends for a week and me and DH had a blissful week on a Greek island just us.

maranella · 30/05/2023 16:44
  • holiday clubs
  • pool time while you lie on a lounger and relax, while keeping an eye on them
  • tag teaming with DP so you both get a bit of down-time
  • letting DC be involved in choosing what to do at least some of the time
  • remind them not to be a little shit as it's ruining your holiday
  • and if all else fails, a nice big cocktail/glass of wine/beer Grin
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