To think holidays with kids are a bit shite?

[Moosethroat]

Currently abroad with DD7. For the most part, she is okay and we are having a good time but I'm honestly fed up of the spoilt, entitled behaviour. You'd think she took ME away. Just us so no one else to leave her with so I can have a break. We've had some really lovely experiences together: jetski, quads, parasailing etc but just fed up of having to constantly remind her about her behaviour or the way she is talking to me etc, wayyy more than I would at home, it's making me feel on edge like what next. Also she just wants to rush through EVERYTHING no matter how many times I have to remind her that there is plenty of time to do everything and we don't need to do 10 things in one day. I don't want to say its spoiling my time, but I'm definitely reconsidering whether to do this again for the next few years but I want to be able offer her experiences in new countries (and myself!) but thousands of pounds to not feel relaxed doesn't feel like a good deal lol

You can also use kids club from 18 months in most places so that would also make life a lot easier so you have some downtime on your own

No offence taken. But as kids we had the BEST holidays and my parents had fun too. I like holidays with plenty of people around.

@SittingNextToIt i sort of see your point - some people have quite amenable 15 month olds who haven’t hit the full toddler tantrums yet. Mine were still shits at that age tho, altho 3 is absolutely by far much worse.

Oh op I sympathise. I'm currently on holiday with two bickering teenage dd's...fed up of having to referee. Holidays with children can be the best of times and also the worst of times 😄

I found when my son was as younger, all he needed was a pool to splash about in and a couple of other kids he could make friends with and he was in his element.

Every does what works for them but the idea of all inclusive, kids clubs and hotel entertainment fills me with horror. We deliberately picked smaller hotels/apartments with a pool bar on the outskirts of a resort so we had a bit of peace during day and a short wander into town of an evening.

I really miss those holidays now he’s 18 and zero interest in travelling with me

my family don't go on holiday to sit around, we like to spend our time exploring and doing activities. I'd be bored to tears by a pool/beach holiday and would feel like I'd wasted my days off.

You are making assumptions that other people don’t like exploring and doing activities.
NOBODY with children can lie around sunbathing or reading books on any holiday!

@Throughalookingglass My post was in answer to someone wondering whether full on holidays are exhausting so I was explaining that beach holidays with pools and kids clubs might suit some people but they wouldn't suit me as I'd find them boring. I can't recharge that way, which is the purpose of a holiday, right? To recharge your batteries in whatever way works for you. There's no one way to take a holiday. What's wrong with what I said?

Try a hotel which has qualified staff employed by the holiday company rather than hotel staff eg TUI blue family hotels.

My DD and I bond most when chilling out with each other or taking a long drive.

You can’t spend ££ on kids and expect a return on investment. They don’t owe you anything for spending that money. But you do owe them parenting that entitled behaviour firmly out even if that means cancelling things. Parenting is hard, not just because it’s exhausting but because you have to do hard things that you hate doing and don’t make them happy in order to make them better people. I would be cancelling activities and starting her off with keeping herself chilled and occupied. Do something simple with her for a bit eg stickers or puzzles then leave her to it and read a book while she’s occupied.

It’s a different kind of stressful. Toddlers go to sleep fairly early and they even have afternoon naps where you can recharge for an hour, and they are also easily pleased - toddler pool and an ice cream = done. You can also put them in a buggy and go for a walk, you choose where to go. Sometimes they fall asleep and you can sit outside a cafe and chill.

Older DC are more likely to complain about being bored, and expect you to entertain them and need company and witter away at you about very boring things, on a 1-1 they might want to interact with you ALL the time.

OP, get her off to kids club so she can make some friends. Then she might bump into the same kids later and can play in the pool with them and give you a bit of a break, it’s the 1-1 thing that sounds a bit intense.

You need to take back control of the situation OP. Decide in advance what the day will look like, what activities there will be and what she can/cannot have. Intersperse the high level fun and treats with some duller things, otherwise it's overwhelming and not appreciated. Be clear what is to happen, and stick to it. Impose sanctions (that you can live with and don't spoil your holiday) for rudeness, whinging etc. In the desire to have fun it can be easy to be too relaxed about behaviour and you end up with an escalating problem.

I think between about 6 and 12 years of age is not too bad. Not relaxing exactly but fun. They are old enough to cope with the change in routine and want to do fun stuff but not hitting hormonal teenager mode.

Holidaying with kids under 5 was just stressful IMO. You need to pack about 500 things and spend your days in a constant battle to get suncream on them, water in them and make sure they don't wander off.

I've loved all the holidays we've had with the kids, I don't relate to all the miserable holiday posts at all. But it does sound like you've over scheduled things a bit OP. On our holiday last summer we did two 'paid' activities (eg the stuff you mention in your OP) over the fortnight and the rest was just quiet beach time, going for a walk to the nearby town to get ice cream, reading/card games/etc. Behaviour was great (better than at home 😂). The DC were 3, 6 and 8 at the time so similar ages.

I haven't had a holiday in over 20 years because it's financially impossible, but I loved holidays with my DC when they were younger, it wouldn't have been a holiday without them.

DD2 and me have had a couple of days here and there in Edinburgh, our happy place, and even now she's an adult, she lives with me, and neither of us would go on holiday without the other.

I hope that your holiday is getting better. I am a single parent too and although we have had enjoyable holidays I would never describe them as relaxing - normally return home more tired than I starred. My eldest is 9 (has SEN) and when we went away at Easter (just a couple of hours drive from home) he was so difficult the first couple of days until he adjusted to a different environment. It does sound like you might be trying to do too much.

We have found, from experience, that the following is true when holidaying with children:

Their behaviour is often worse on holidays, especially during the first few days. After a few post holiday chats between me and DH, we’ve actually come to the conclusion that they are often overwhelmed and overexcited by the free time, activities and new sights/smells that they become overstimulated which leads to them forgetting what we expect of them, which then results in them needing more reminders than usual. We have also realised that the kids look back on the holidays, sometimes quite a while later, with much more fondness than us. We had one particular holiday where it was scorching hot, almost unbearable, and one of the dc was really ill. I cried all the way home because I was so exhausted and I felt the holiday had been ruined and a complete waste of money. The dc talk about it like it was the best holiday they’ve ever had, even years later. For us, despite the stress, this all makes it worth it. Even when I’m trying to enjoy a glass of wine and someone is trying to drown their sister for the 7th time that afternoon 🙃