To think holidays with kids are a bit shite?

[Moosethroat]

Currently abroad with DD7. For the most part, she is okay and we are having a good time but I'm honestly fed up of the spoilt, entitled behaviour. You'd think she took ME away. Just us so no one else to leave her with so I can have a break. We've had some really lovely experiences together: jetski, quads, parasailing etc but just fed up of having to constantly remind her about her behaviour or the way she is talking to me etc, wayyy more than I would at home, it's making me feel on edge like what next. Also she just wants to rush through EVERYTHING no matter how many times I have to remind her that there is plenty of time to do everything and we don't need to do 10 things in one day. I don't want to say its spoiling my time, but I'm definitely reconsidering whether to do this again for the next few years but I want to be able offer her experiences in new countries (and myself!) but thousands of pounds to not feel relaxed doesn't feel like a good deal lol

No way is it ever gonna be a holiday

I don't see the point in spending fortunes at that age

That said a house by a beach somewhere quiet (like Scotland or Northumberland) is also a good choice.

^

This. Pray for decent weather AKA 15 degrees and no rain

Those entertainments probably are of more interest to you than her. That's why she isn't very interested .

She'd probably prefer child activities. Playing in the pool; making sand mermaids on the beach, skimming stones, drawing and colouring in the shade when its very hot. Making necklaces, playing cards with you.

Come back couple years later please and see how that goes? It must be so strange as to why your 15 month old is a different experience From dunno …. A 2/3 year old or a 7 year old. I wonder what could be the difference?

Yep. We’re currently on holiday. 3 yo is being a nightmare, constantly. Older dd said earlier ‘I wish there was a place for young children, where you can take them for the day. Like kennels, but for children.’ I thought that was quite insightful…

Teen whined recently that we never took her to interesting European cities when she was little - just holiday cottages in Wales and Northumberland. [thinks] BECAUSE YOU WERE A NIGHTMARE TO FEED AND ENTERTAIN AND WE DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE OUR MONEY AND WHAT LITTLE ANNUAL LEAVE WE HAD.
[says] it was a bit tricky to sort

We discovered all holidays were shite with DS (now 12) when we holidayed as a solo family but going with friends or family with similar age DCs was way better. It still is. kids need kids to play with on holiday in the same way that adults need other adults to relax with.

I'm a single parent of a 7yr old girl and honestly I recognise a lot of the behaviour OP 1 albeit I can also admit I see some of it at home as well. I don't know if it's an age "thing" or not or a single parent thing or not - her dad has been gone coming up for a year and I'd say her behaviour has definitely taken a turn for the worst since then. Maybe you don't see it at home as presumably you work full time and she is in school so actually your time together is limited - it's not until you go on holiday and have nowhere to escape each other that you see the negative traits more clearly?

The reality would surely be a DD that was entertaining themselves on the beach rather than relying on the OP to provide the jet skiing/quad biking etc. This seems a bit OTT for a 7 year old. I can't see how without these activities a child would be whining, bored an sullen.

Your suggestion of a kids club could work, although ot would be mine and my DC idea of hell on earth.

My DC have really enjoyed camping/simple villa holidays. I have preferred the big ticket holidays when they were old enough to remember/appreciate it.

The difference is that the OP's daughter is by herself on the beach without other children to play with. Your children had each other.

I loved taking my DS abroad when he was little snd cute. We always went to Greece, he played in the pool while DH and I took it in turns with him then evenings we went out for dinner and spent family time together.

It was so different after his dad and I split and I took him away just us two when he was 13/14. He just wanted to sleep to midday then lay in the shade staring at his phone. He only wanted to eat in the hotel and go out to bars with a pool table/quiz night/giant tv showing love island etc. But actually I made most of having breakfast in peace chatting to others in hotel. I enjoyed a few hours round the pool on my own with headphones in and although it would have been nice to try different restaurants and bars, it was just lovely to spend time with my son while I could.
Sadly our holiday in 2020 didn't happen due to bloody covid and now he’s 18, I think the moment has passed for a mum and son holiday.

You're not alone, I feel the same too. DD is 7 and we regularly travel alone and love it.

Currently away with my 7yo I think it's a 7yo thing to try to push boundaries with the whinging and entitlement. We are doing full on days, theme parks every day and 3 hours of another activity every evening (bowling, water park, dry skiing etc.) We are a busy family and like to keep busy. The thought of a day at the villa would be torture.

My approach is to give DC(7) more freedom, so we've given them their own budget for snacks, and more choice over what we do each day as a family but in return they are expected to respect others' choices and not whinge when there are no more snacks!

I am sorry you are having a bad time OP. Maybe jet skis etc is all a bit much for a 7 yo.

i can honestly say I have never had a bad holiday with DS who is now 16 so disagree that all holidays with kids are always shite. I have been taking him just the two of us since he was 6 and we have done all type of trips from camping/self catering (cottages, Haven, Center Parcs) in the UK to all inclusive in europe to NewYork. I always do lots of planning and try to manage expectations. He is great company and I will be sad when he no longer wants to come with me.

I think one of the best things about going away is the sheer joy of no housework not cooking. Coping with young children is hard though especially on your own and they need to be constantly entertained.

I’ve got one DS (10) and I can honestly say holidaying with him and his Dad is always enjoyable. What’s exhausting is when we are at home on holidays and we’ve got to think of something to do every day and as I don’t drive we are basically milling around town a lot or in house/garden. I find that way too boring, he ends up going on his computer a lot.

Our best holiday was Spain, at a resort with breakfast. We got up every day about 9ish. Stuffed ourselves at buffet brekfast, went to the pool and spent hours on the slides together. Got to admit I’m an overgrown child, as is my husband. Then went to the infinity pool and chilled. Came back to the room. Ate fruit/nuts/bread rolls on the terrace. Had showers and then went out for dinner. Back for mini disco/arcades in the evening. We had a few cocktails whilst he played games with animation team/danced at disco. And repeat. It was bliss. And some of our best memories.

Id say our worst holidays have been when we’ve stayed at home a lot and just got bored. Most friends are away over the summer. Apart from when weathers been good and weve managed to sit in the paddling pool and put our giant slide in it. Basically trying to imitate Spain!

I don’t actually think kids need other kids necessarily. We’ve been on holidays with friends and cousins and had fun but it wasn’t better. I do think they need partners in crime and adults on their wavelength for the fun…like going on slides/diving for toys in the pool/lazy river etc. Swimming is one thing we all love but I’d find it hard to say there’s another I can think of to be honest! So I can understand if there isn’t a pool with slides how it’d get tricky.

For those comparing their toddler experiences to OP’s - DH and I took DD1 away to Italy and America when she was 1-2, and I took DD2 to Singapore alone when she was 9 months, and they were fantastic holidays. Wonderful, well behaved kids and adults had a blast.

fast forward to them being 8 and 4, with real personalities and voices, and it’s quite a lot harder 😂 I took the girls away alone recently and had a wonderful time, but it was hard work because you don’t get down time without a partner; OP you probably thought some part of this would feel like a holiday for you and it just isn’t, unfortunately.

we’ve now embraced it by booking a house in the UK last summer and this, with lots of child-friendly activities, and booking a couple of weekend breaks away for me and DH when friends can look after the kids. Helps manage all our expectations and saves me getting grumpy about the 1000s of £s wasted! OP, agree with the need for down time (for both of you!!) - get her in kids club and have a break.

I think it's understandable that kids are harder work on holiday - they're out of their routine, the food and sleeping arrangements are unfamiliar, their friends and toys aren't there, and they've probably built it up to be this amazing time they're going to have. I find it engaging that we're expected to pretend it's enjoyable tbh. We've had a few great holidays with the kids but even then it was always like 10% making memories and 90% trying to black the windows out with tinfoil and picking bits out of someone's rice.

We enjoy holidays with the kids, however there are two of us and two of them which definitely makes things easier. They entertain each other and DH and I have company too. It also means the DH and I can both take some time for ourselves while the other looks after the kids. It definitely feels like a holiday.

Growing up, holidays were just me and my Mum and she had to be both parent and playmate which must’ve been exhausting. She also didn’t get any time alone to rest and recharge, so holidays probably didn’t feel like much of a break to her.

We have found that a week or two of indulgence can lead to some less than stellar behaviour from our girls. We have to make a point of reminding them that the holiday is for everyone, not just them and that we expect the same behaviour on holiday as we would at home. So far it’s been pretty successful…

@Hairbrushhandle blimey that sounds very full on …. don’t you come back exhausted?

My parents had the right idea. Every holiday was with 5 or 6 other families so we had a lot of other kids to play with and there was no room for brattishness. It's the way forward.

I’ve always found being on holiday brings out the best and worst of the kids and it’s almost just the way it is. In the longer term you won’t remember the bits where they’re a pain though, just the fun and experiences (hopefully, probably…maybe?!)

@mewkins no offence but that sounds like my idea of hell. I'd rather never holiday than holiday with someone else's children.

@FrenchandSaunders I guess everyone recharges in different ways 😄Like @Hairbrushhandle my family don't go on holiday to sit around, we like to spend our time exploring and doing activities. I'd be bored to tears by a pool/beach holiday and would feel like I'd wasted my days off.

But yes, we did a train hopping trip around Emilia Romagna last summer and it was definitely exhausting. Amazing, but exhausting 😅

@SittingNextToIt

Come back couple years later please and see how that goes? It must be so strange as to why your 15 month old is a different experience From dunno …. A 2/3 year old or a 7 year old. I wonder what could be the difference?

Maybe you've forgotten what it's like to have a young toddler..... I'm just saying my experience obviously I have no experience with this but I was saying my experience. From people I've spoken to it's way harder having a toddler compared to a 7 year old who can entertain themselves and go to kids club so not sure I see your point