DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

[Safarigiraffe]

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

OK i didn't see the end of it. But it's irrelevant the little madam who didn't want to be there took up a space that could have gone to some who actually appreciate the B&G.

Only when she's got an empty house and the boyfriend's over

This

I think your DD been really rude OP. You need a really good reason to leave a wedding meal half way through. Wanting to feel fully refreshed for the next day ahead isn’t good enough. She could easily have left an hour and a half later. If she was cutting it so fine that am hours delay caused such an issue, she should have declined the invite in the first place.

I actually can't get over the Daughter thinking her family, Mum, Dad, Granny, Aunties, Uncles the full works actually believe she needed to go home to sleep 😴.

Does she think they button up the back? They must know she has a BF, and shes probably pissed she never got a plus 1 invite.
I can't help think she's gone for a play on words. I'm going home because I want a sleep (with my BF)

Let’s be honest - your DD just didn’t want to be at a boring family wedding, went along because she thought she was obliged to go. Thought she’d slip out unnoticed after the meal, because she was either meeting her friends at 8pm to do something better, or she’d rather be at home watching Netflix rather than being at a family wedding. No-one needs to be tucked up in bed at 9pm before a 6.30am start. The meal dragged on a bit late (as they often do at weddings) and she thought sod this, I’ve got better things I could be doing than this.

I think your dd was rude. She was not willing to even mildly inconvenience herself after accepting an invitation to an expensive event funded by someone else.

Of course your mil shouldn't have chased after her, though.

So she left at 6::30/6:45? Because she has work the next day? Sorry, but that’s just rude, even if the meal was overrunning a bit. She obviously just didn’t want to be there. A few weeks ago dd (7) and I didn’t get in until 11pm on a Sunday after a dance comp. We were both up at 6:30 for work and school. Yes, a bit tired but we managed because it was a one off and we were doing something special. There was absolutely no need for your dd to leave so early. She could have stayed a good while longer to finish the meal at least. If she didn’t want to be at the wedding she should have declined the invite in the first place.

Do you know what the DD needed to do before she goes to work?

No, you don't, is the answer. The bottom line is though is that she planned to be away at a certain time, the meal ran late and so she left. Big fucking deal.

And it's not "entitled" to have a different opinion, FYI.

It was rude.

If you can’t see that, there’s little hope for you.

You're the OP in disguise, aren't you? 🤡

If someone forks out a lot of meal on the basis that you would attend and you use up a place then yes it is a big deal (unless exceptional circumstances such as medical conditions etc). Surely anything that needed doing before work could have been done the day before given she knew she would be at the wedding the next day.
wedding meals often take a while and are rarely done by 6:30 so she planned to leave at a time where there a good chance she would be leaving during the meal/speeches.

How these threads always descend into personal attacks is so sad.
There’s no point in being on here if you can’t civilly discuss something with someone who has a differing opinion.

When you work an early it’s the mental & physical preparation. Getting ready, any prep you need to do prior to work, thinking about the work day ahead. Multiple posters querying why the girl left early,couldn’t she just stay longer,it was rude to leave etc. Certainly I prepare for an early and it is mental demanding and I understand why she left promptly

The catering was delayed by an hour serving meals (that’s not the girl fault and doesn’t compel her to stay later)

She had already notified the Bride & Groom of early planned departure

The in-laws are boorish,overbearing and a bit crackers to have such an over the top reaction.

Over the years I have missed events & dos inc weddings etc because of shift work or on call and I have also used it to my advantage and pretended to be working or on call so I did not have to attend events I don’t want to attend. Work is a great excuse for declining events I don’t fancy ( PTA, School do, boring events ) and no one can argue with it. Priceless really

Well you sound like a barrel of laughs.

But if you decline an invitation to a wedding, at least the bride and groom don't pay for a meal that you don't eat.

Not all weddings are fun or accessible or I simply don’t want to attend a pricy destination event. Work is a perfect excuse, and yes of course I use it to decline weddings or do I don’t fancy. It’s a great excuse and of course I use it liberally if it suits me. You know what because sometimes I don’t want to pay thousands to attend a destination wedding in a sweltering hot complex with a bunch of folk I barely know but by default of knowing the Bride or Groom I’m invited

I have declined pricy,and unnecessarily long hen do too.

It’s all very fortuitous really to have a ready made excuse and yes I use it liberally

Still this rumbles on. The bride and groom likely paid for at least a dozen meals that didn't get eaten and probably more, depending on the number of people there. It makes no difference.

I wouldn't bother, @Frabbits and @Zone2NorthLondon . I tried similar hours ago, but apparently a wedding trumps anything else that might be going on in somebody's life to the point that when it runs late, all other personal and work arrangements should immediately be forgotten.

Had the daughter been allowed to just slip out discreetly I doubt anybody would have even noticed. The other family members are to blame for turning it into a sideshow.

Completely agree,there will be no shows on the day and uneaten meals
There is a wilful lack of reasonableness from some posters to understand she had pressing work commitments

But the question is relevant. Does the OPS daughter always tuk herself up in bed at 8 pm or did she deliberately want to create a scene? Surely eeru adult can stay up for one night as an exception? Its a wedding not a day out

I'd say you'd DD was a bit inconsiderate to the bride and groom, considering it's probably £75/£100 a head to feed her and she didn't even stay to finish the meal. Seems she panicked a bit about being at work so left too early. But MIL and BIL shouldn't have said a word, nothing to do with them and they shouldn't have made a scene like that

It's not even obvious that OPs daughter was working an early shift. 6.30am is not a particularly unusual time for people getting up to start work at 8.30 or 9am.
And it isn't clear from the OP that her DD had discussed this with the B and G in advance.
It says she said bye to them and explained that she was leaving and they were fine with it.
What else are they going to do, demand she stays til 8pm or give her a bill for the meal...?

That doesn't sound right .. a dozen people.

You are comparing a high price, multiple day event to driving an hour and getting home for 8pm - where I assume the daughter had to make herself dinner so it doesn't make sense.

You've not answered why your DD had to be home for 8.30pm for a 6.30am get up?!

Does she go to bed at 9pm?

Well we haven’t been told what the pressing work commitments are and why they are so pressing, so how can we understand them.

also why would there be multiple no shows; that would be very rude and unacceptable behaviour.