DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

[Safarigiraffe]

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

Two weeks if it includes chicken

Hahaha 😆 😂 😆

For me depends on the nature of her job. If she is working in healthcare, or flying a plane, driving a train or doing anything where her being a bit tired would put other people in danger, it’s more reasonable. Although perhaps should have tried to book AL. If she just didn’t want to be tired, she’s a bit rude.

I get that she felt she needed to leave early however if I was the bride and groom I'd be shorty that I've spent ££ per head for a meal and someone's not bothered to eat it.

I think she's flying a plane full of sick orphans, does that count?

B and G were hardly in a position to refuse or kick off! Remember previous now, is she always getting things her way? Does she live at home or away for work?

DD “muuuum, I don’t wanna go to the stupid wedding, they haven’t even invited my freeloading boyfriend”

OP “it’s a family wedding and important to your dad and grandma, you can leave after the dinner”

DD “what time does dinner finish?”

OP “I reckon about 6:30 all being well”

DD “ok well I’m leaving at exactly 6:30 then whateverrrrr”

Your daughter is an entitled moo, and your father smells of elderberries. And it's should have, not should of.

@alphajuliet123 thats probably it nailed!

Honestly what do you think the DHs family think of them?

The fuss people make about weddings is ridiculous.

DD turned up and celebrated with the couple. She was not responsible for the food being served an hour late. The bride and groom will have known perfectly well that if you book a major event and it falls midweek, people will have working commitments.

To a PP's suggestion that DD should have felt obliged to book a second day's leave to cater for this event: why on earth should she? Perhaps this wasn't a possibility owing to the nature of her work. Perhaps she has earmarked her annual leave for other reasons of her own. She doesn't owe her precious holiday time to anyone.

In fairness to the bride and groom they seem completely cool and accepting of this. The in-laws had no business creating such an unnecessary scene over a triviality that apparently bothered no one but them.

YANBU.

Your IL's are unhinged and you are not unreasonable

@SerafinasGoose
She didn't do any celebrating with them she ran off before the evening celebrations began.

I love how people come on here and pretend that weddings are no big deal; probably the same ones who'd faint in horror if someone came to their wedding wearing a dress in too pale a shade of beige. Ffs, weddings are formal events, and adult guests should know how to behave.

Yowzers. Bridezillas triggered ten-a-penny on this thread!

MN wedding threads are a laugh a minute. They always give value for column space.

It's not bridezilla to expect guests to actually want to be there and celebrate with you.
She left before the meal was finished. For no good reason. Nobody seriously believes a healthy 19yo needed bed for 8.00 to get 11.5 hours sleep.

So if someone objected to me leaving in the middle of a funeral, they'd be funeralzillas?

I'd be embarrassed to leave before the food / speeches tbh. I think 6:30 is a really normal time to be up for work for the vast majority of day time workers and for most people, getting home at 10/ 10:30 would be fine. Weddings are expensive and they'd have had to pay for her meal. Given she'd had her starter, mains wouldn't have been far behind. I'd have left after meals/ speeches.

In my opinion, it's your MIL who is rude and from your description was being 'unhinged'. Is she often like this or does she get like this around the topic of weddings only? It was very disrespectful of her towards the bride & groom causing a scene. She wasn't mother of the bride even, just another guest, so not sure how it was any of her business at all.

The food was an hour late, not a few minutes. Some weddings run this late, some don't. DD would have had time to eat her main and perhaps even her pudding even if it had run a bit nearer to time. Not DD's fault unless she herself held up the wedding schedule?! If it was the venue's fault the, the bride & groom can negotiate a discount for the late and hence uneaten 2/3 of a meal. If it was the wedding party's fault, then they will just suck it up. Your DD made a discreet and polite exit via the bride & groom who were gracious about it as they should be.

I've been to some very posh weddings where the odd uneaten course - for whatever reason - has been served and discretely divided up among those who would like seconds to avoid waste. This could have been done with no fuss at all, people should have some common sense.

With regard to what time the DD wants to be home for a shift. I haven't RTFT but those arguing she should go home later and rock up potentially tired, unprepared, not fit to work, maybe not even safe to work (or to drive to work) is setting a very bad example for young people and is very disrespectful of the DD as a person and of her job.

But... DD did plan to stay for meal, but couldn't due to it being served late. So I fail to see what the problem is.

If she never intended to stay for the meal but one was paid for then yes, that's rude. But leaving for a pre-discussed deadline and missing a meal because it's late is not the DD's fault.

She wasn’t working a night shift or preparing for an exam or going to the airport @Frabbits, she just couldn’t do the polite thing and hang on an extra half hour to eat the food that someone else had paid for. If you can’t see that that’s a bit rude, you’re as entitled as she is.

Oh my goodness, talk about tying yourself in knots to defend rude and uncouth behaviour 😄

Yeah, we’ll let her off for that 🤣

I don't think your MIL should have got involved but I also think it is extremely rude of your daughter to leave mid way through a wedding meal which probably cost a lot of money. I would be very annoyed if I was the bride and groom.

But... DD did plan to stay for meal, but couldn't due to it being served late. So I fail to see what the problem is.

If she never intended to stay for the meal but one was paid for then yes, that's rude. But leaving for a pre-discussed deadline and missing a meal because it's late is not the DD's fault.
There's no way she'd have been there for the whole meal even if it had been served on time though.
I've never been to a wedding where a formal meal for a lot of people, including toasts and speeches has been done in 90 mins, purely on logistics of serving a large number of people.

There's nothing in OP's post to say this was a pre-discussed deadline, just that OP's MIL knew DD wanted to leave because she had work in the morning. The DD said goodbye to the couple.

Yes, I’d think that timings might be similar so wondering why anyone would think the meal and speeches would be over by 6.30. I have also not known the timings being announced enough for op and dd to know that it was an hour late.