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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

1000 replies

Safarigiraffe · 29/05/2023 23:07

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

OP posts:
Robinonmybirdfeeder · 30/05/2023 13:42

My dd is 19. Yesterday she got up at 5.45am to start work at 6.30 and worked a 12hour shift before going out drinking until midnight, before going to work for 6.30am today for another 12 hour shift. This was a group of 8 workmates of various ages who all did the same thing. She will just have an early night tonight to recover.

At 19 I was a student nurse and we regularly did the same.

I agree with others, she wanted to get back to the bf or to meet friends

1offnamechange · 30/05/2023 13:44

Posted too early - was going to say b&g probably had to say it was fine because they didn't want an argument but I can imagine that a few members of the wedding party were pretty unimpressed at your daughter leaving that ridiculously early. It would have been fine to leave immediately after the food so considering starters had already been served it would have been, what, an extra hour max? Still giving her more than 9 hours sleep!

Candlesandflowers · 30/05/2023 13:44

I would have been livid if someone had left my wedding halfway through the meal. It was extremely rude and disrespectful of your daughter and I imagine your mother in law so absolutely mortified by her behaviour

Running an hour late at a wedding is hardly unusual. She should have declined the whole day if she didn’t want to be there.

mydogisthebest · 30/05/2023 13:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

How do you know the bride and groom didn't care? They might have been furious but were hardly like to show it because they have manners unlike the OP's spoilt brat daughter

Bookworm20 · 30/05/2023 14:04

You're all missing then point though. The bride and groom were totally out of order for not making sure their wedding ran absolutely to schedule, as we all know weddings always, always run to a strict schedule (is there even a 'schedule' of exact timings for weddings?).

MIL was out of order for wanting their grandaughter to stay for the meal. What wicked grandparents! And for their granddaughter to not create what I can only imagine was extreme embarassment for them (and the entire table) by her walking out. She should of kept quiet, you are right OP, and just let your DD do exactly as she wanted like she always does.

The bride and groom should have absolutely made sure that dinner was served on time as OPs DD cannot possibly wait an ENTIRE hour for her main meal. They should know this! How dare they not know this! Perhaps pack her some snacks next time OP as i'm sure others did for their small children?
They should have considered how a 19 year old might want to up and leave if their dinner gets delayed a little bit and they have to actually WORK the next day!!

So they should most certainly have made sure their day fitted around OPs DD's plans. Which I'm guessing did not include an early night at all, but an evening with her equally special BF.

I bet she left mid meal to make a point about her BF not being invited. Because I cannot imagine anyone being so entitled and rude and disrespectful to the bride and groom by accident.

changeyerheadworzel · 30/05/2023 14:04

So disrespectful. She left ridiculously early, there was absolutely NO need for her to be home at 8.15 to be up at 6.30. Her food would have been already paid for. Mortified for her and you aswell who thinks it was ok. Obviously you never taught her any manners.

Rachie1973 · 30/05/2023 14:18

Zwicky · 29/05/2023 23:39

Getting work clothes laid out, sorting out a lunch, have a shower before going to bed etc

Huge numbers of people who will have needed to be up at 6:30 will still have been doing the previous days shift by the time this woman was binge watching Netflix in her pyjamas. I have an 8.5 hour turnaround time when I work consecutive days and I’m in bed for 8 of those. It’s absolutely not normal behaviour to leave someone’s wedding a quarter of the way through dinner to lay clothes out for 2 hours.

Yup. I finish at 22.30 then restart at 7am.

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 14:20

You had me going for the first couple of lines there @Bookworm20 😂

Fizbosshoes · 30/05/2023 14:22

I think everyone is being unreasonable for wanting a meal at this time of year. I had a massive salad last summer and I'm completely stuffed

Hfgvi · 30/05/2023 14:23

A few thoughts…
I wonder what time the wedding was? I’ve never really known what time to expect the wedding breakfast to be served except my own wedding and when I was bridesmaid. Was the dd just guessing timings?
I doubt the bride and groom were happy with her abandoning the meal that they had paid for after the starter, should they have tied her down? Or maybe they were just being polite and have since been cursing her behaviour.
Most nurses will still be working at 6.30pm not rushing home to go to bed so they can be up the next morning.
Where is the op?

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 14:24

Who said she’s a nurse? She earns “very good money” including commission according to a previous brat filled thread from OP.

bussteward · 30/05/2023 14:25

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 12:46

Christ on a bike.

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I think she drove, actually.

kitsuneghost · 30/05/2023 14:25

Why Does everyone seem to be an expert on how much sleep/wind down/rest OPs DD needs
It is surely a very personal thing
What you do / what your daughter or son does is irrelevant.

She felt she needed to be home early to be fit for work next day and that's the only thing that matters

Hfgvi · 30/05/2023 14:30

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 14:24

Who said she’s a nurse? She earns “very good money” including commission according to a previous brat filled thread from OP.

I was referring to posts saying “ if she was a nurse she would need a good sleep”

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 14:30

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 14:24

Who said she’s a nurse? She earns “very good money” including commission according to a previous brat filled thread from OP.

I don't think she is a nurse. People are guessing at what job the 19yo does, with an early start.

Skodacool · 30/05/2023 14:31

Safarigiraffe · 29/05/2023 23:11

Yes she did say goodbye to bride/groom explaining situation they were fine with it

In that case MIL should have kept her beak out for it, she sounds a nightmare

1offnamechange · 30/05/2023 14:32

Rachie1973 · 30/05/2023 14:18

Yup. I finish at 22.30 then restart at 7am.

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I thought legally workers were entitled to 11 hours rest between shifts?

Sallyh87 · 30/05/2023 14:34

Fizbosshoes · 30/05/2023 14:22

I think everyone is being unreasonable for wanting a meal at this time of year. I had a massive salad last summer and I'm completely stuffed

😂

balzamico · 30/05/2023 14:34

You MIL chased her because like practically everyone else on this thread, she doesn't understand why your dd had to leave so early. Leaving halfway through a meal is really rude and most hosts would be upset about it.

Would it really have hurt her to stay another hour? shed still have been home in plenty of time to get ready and sleep before work

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 14:36

bussteward · 30/05/2023 14:25

I think she drove, actually.

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😆

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 14:37

Hfgvi · 30/05/2023 14:30

I was referring to posts saying “ if she was a nurse she would need a good sleep”

Show quote history

Ah ok, agreed. More likely she’s in sales / recruitment of some sort as she earns commission.

I never read previous threads but I’ve had a glance through and it confirms that DD is a foot stomping tantrum throwing entitled brat. No wonder her dad gets pissed off with all the drama.

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 14:38

@Hfgvi, in my neck of woods weddings are usually 1 or 2pm say

2pm wedding service
3pm leaving the church
3.30pm canapés at the venue while photographer does photos.
5pm getting ready to sit.
30mins for speeches
2hrs for food
7.30 end of meal evening guests arrive
8.00 first dance.
10.00 break / buffet
10.30 restart
12.00 finish.

People might go for 1pm if they want more time with photographer or need more time to get from church to venue.

Sandylanes69 · 30/05/2023 14:39

Fizbosshoes · 30/05/2023 14:22

I think everyone is being unreasonable for wanting a meal at this time of year. I had a massive salad last summer and I'm completely stuffed

I know for a fact that's not true; I just saw you with a massive stick of celery in your hand.

LolaSmiles · 30/05/2023 14:40

She felt she needed to be home early to be fit for work next day and that's the only thing that matters
So she should have politely declined the invitation, or rsvp-ed telling the couple that she'd love to attend the ceremony but due to work commitments she would not be able to make the wedding breakfast or evening reception.

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 14:40

Sandylanes69 · 30/05/2023 14:39

I know for a fact that's not true; I just saw you with a massive stick of celery in your hand.

Show quote history

Was that not the MN salad designed to last a family of 5 for a week,?

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