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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

1000 replies

Safarigiraffe · 29/05/2023 23:07

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

OP posts:
alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 13:13

Why did anyone need to walk DD to her car, at 6.30 when it's daylight....?

Because she’s so very precious…

GrinAndVomit · 30/05/2023 13:14

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:07

I always find this very odd at weddings in the UK. I much prefer continental weddings.

When I got married the church service was at 4pm, the reception started at 6pm and the meal was served at 8pm.

And the carriage didn't turn into a pumpkin at midnight 11pm.

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I’m happy with either 🤷🏻‍♀️ what ever is the bride and groom’s preference is fine with me.

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:15

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 13:09

@MargotBamborough

the meal will last probs 1.5 hours to 2 hours
starts at 5 ends at 7 for example
likely a three course meal
so no you wouldn’t need another meal later

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Well I personally would, because that is too early for me.

And certainly anyone who didn't actually eat the meal because it hadn't been served by 6pm would need to eat later.

So the OP's daughter didn't eat the meal that probably cost the bride and groom the best part of 100 quid, drove home and spent half an hour making and eating something else for her dinner. Meaning that she could have just waited until the main course was served, eaten it, and then gone home afterwards.

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 13:15

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 13:13

Why did anyone need to walk DD to her car, at 6.30 when it's daylight....?

Because she’s so very precious…

Because nobody believes a healthy 19yo needs bed at 8pm to be up for 6.30.

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 13:16

Can we just take a minute to remember this is the same brat who threw a hissy fit when her parents refused to pay for her crappy jobless boyfriend to join them on a family holiday?

You reap what you sow.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 13:16

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:15

Well I personally would, because that is too early for me.

And certainly anyone who didn't actually eat the meal because it hadn't been served by 6pm would need to eat later.

So the OP's daughter didn't eat the meal that probably cost the bride and groom the best part of 100 quid, drove home and spent half an hour making and eating something else for her dinner. Meaning that she could have just waited until the main course was served, eaten it, and then gone home afterwards.

Show quote history

@MargotBamborough

maybe on a normal day, but surely after a big dinner of at least three courses you wouldn’t need to eat again?

GrinAndVomit · 30/05/2023 13:17

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 13:16

Can we just take a minute to remember this is the same brat who threw a hissy fit when her parents refused to pay for her crappy jobless boyfriend to join them on a family holiday?

You reap what you sow.

Maybe that’s why the bride and groom were so happy to see the back of her!

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 13:19

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 13:16

Can we just take a minute to remember this is the same brat who threw a hissy fit when her parents refused to pay for her crappy jobless boyfriend to join them on a family holiday?

You reap what you sow.

She's also tried to guilt trip her Dad into paying for a tyre for her car.

And had the BF at her house dawn to dusk 7 days a week. Causing friction because he's always there.

Dodgeitornot · 30/05/2023 13:20

Your daughter should've not taken a place at a wedding if she wasn't going to even eat the food they've paid for. It's so expensive per head. Does she not go out with her mates and stay out past 8pm? Sounds like she really didn't want to be there.

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:20

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 13:16

@MargotBamborough

maybe on a normal day, but surely after a big dinner of at least three courses you wouldn’t need to eat again?

Show quote history

I don't know, wedding food isn't usually like three courses at Pizza Express, is it? It's usually quality over quantity.

Most people do provide more food in the evening for this reason.

Knotted1 · 30/05/2023 13:21

Everyone saying it doesn’t matter because the bride and groom were fine with it. I bet they were annoyed really, but what else can they do other than act like it’s ok. I bet they had a moan about how rude it was afterwards!

FFF3 · 30/05/2023 13:22

LT2 · 30/05/2023 07:48

Did you miss the bit about the day's schedule running behind?

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Yes - and then the bit about being home for 8pm, which means there was likely a bit of wiggle room for her to be a bit flexible in staying a little longer. The hosts are not “rude” for the having the schedule run behind - it often happens at weddings. That said, it was very inappropriate for the MIL to run after her.

DragonDoor · 30/05/2023 13:22

It’s absolutely fine to leave an event reasonably early if you have work in the morning, but not in the middle of a meal at 6.30pm!

If someone accepts an invitation for an evening meal, then it’s incredibly rude to leave, even if the food is served later than anticipated.

The only scenario where it could be acceptable would be to leave to catch the last train, or for a sudden emergency.

I’m not surprised that family queried your DD’s departure at the time- it looks bad.

piscesangel · 30/05/2023 13:22

Your MIL overreacted by the sounds of it but your DD was definitely unreasonable. I can't imagine thinking it was ok to walk out in the middle of a wedding meal so I could be home by 8pm for a 6:30am wake up - that's a completely normal time to get up in the morning, does your daughter never socialise in the evening?!

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/05/2023 13:22

Most weddings I have been to do (and every one in England) have more food in the evening so not really an issue about being hungry later.

Codlingmoths · 30/05/2023 13:23

It’s pretty rude to want to be home at 8 from a wedding because you had to be up at 6:30! Half the population gets up at 6:30 or earlier and they don’t never go out.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 30/05/2023 13:23

Surely she could have stayed for the meal? Having to get up at 6.30 isn’t that early. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with leaving early, but needing to be home by 8.15 is a bit unnecessary.

FFF3 · 30/05/2023 13:23

DragonDoor · 30/05/2023 13:22

It’s absolutely fine to leave an event reasonably early if you have work in the morning, but not in the middle of a meal at 6.30pm!

If someone accepts an invitation for an evening meal, then it’s incredibly rude to leave, even if the food is served later than anticipated.

The only scenario where it could be acceptable would be to leave to catch the last train, or for a sudden emergency.

I’m not surprised that family queried your DD’s departure at the time- it looks bad.

Totally agree. People eh keep going on about the schedule running late are missing the point entirely.

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:24

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/05/2023 13:22

Most weddings I have been to do (and every one in England) have more food in the evening so not really an issue about being hungry later.

I know, I'm just making the point that this is a peculiarity of English weddings and I'm convinced it's just a stitch up by the wedding industry to make couples pay for two meals instead of just serving one meal at a normal meal time.

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 13:25

It's definitely a thing to have food in the evening at scottish weddings too, more recently its changed from a full buffet to rolls n sausages or bacon and cake.
Gives the band a bit of time for a break too.

I've also been at functions that serve up rolls at the end of the night.

GrinAndVomit · 30/05/2023 13:27

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:24

I know, I'm just making the point that this is a peculiarity of English weddings and I'm convinced it's just a stitch up by the wedding industry to make couples pay for two meals instead of just serving one meal at a normal meal time.

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There’s usually one set of guests who come for the ceremony and have a sit down meal because they’ve spent the best part of the day as a wedding guest. Then more guests come to the evening do and there’s a buffet on for everyone just as at every other party.
I don’t find it that strange 😂

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/05/2023 13:28

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 13:24

I know, I'm just making the point that this is a peculiarity of English weddings and I'm convinced it's just a stitch up by the wedding industry to make couples pay for two meals instead of just serving one meal at a normal meal time.

Show quote history

to be fair I am generally ready for the meal when it’s served. I normally end up having breakfast and then just something small at around 12ish to keep me going

DilemmaADay · 30/05/2023 13:30

Just read PP who said your daughter was the one who expected you to pay for her jobless boyfriend to come on holiday with you and kicked off!!

You've raised an entitled spoilt madam by the sounds of it. I'd be cringing out my arse if my adult daughter left halfway through a wedding meal because she needs to be up at 6.30, and daddy had to walk her to her car too.

DDs going to have a big shock when the real world hits her.

1offnamechange · 30/05/2023 13:31

If she had to leave to get the last train then it would just be your MIL that's unreasonable but there is no reason why someone old and healthy enough to work and travel on their own couldn't have got home for 9.15 for a 6.30 wake up so your daughter was really rude to leave that early.
Although it was unnecessary for MIL to make a big fuss I imagine a few other people in th

mydogisthebest · 30/05/2023 13:40

Kiwano · 30/05/2023 12:40

Not really, when it's served an hour (or more) late.

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She left at 6.30pm so could have stayed and eaten her meal. It's not like it was 10pm and she was still waiting to eat.

I wouldn't even want to eat a main meal that early really

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