DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

[Safarigiraffe]

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

Yes, definitely discuss upfront.
I have repeatedly said that

Inform the couple ASAP and discuss with them and act accordingly (leave right after the ceremony etc).

alphajuliet123 - her MIL was one of the people who objected so I don't see how she has been framed if it happened?

DD reasonable in my opinion and responsible attitude towards her work

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Unless she is a brain surgeon I doubt work could care less

Work would probably think it was a huge joke that she left so early because she needed her beauty sleep

Work would probably note her down as an unreliable lightweight who needs too much sleep and won’t be able to be put in charge of other staff as she has no stamina.

And it’s fine for her to object but it’s been neatly turned into a ‘massive scene’ and a ‘chase’ outside. Both seem unlikely.

Agree, it wouldn’t impress me that someone thought that was necessary as it doesn’t suggest that they would be able to cope with any overtime/work social/ability to be flexible.

I think everyone was unreasonable.

Your daughter was probably the most unreasonable for leaving so early, 6pm is a ridiculous time to leave a wedding, even with an hour and a half drive, and no one needs that long to prep for work the next morning unless they've got kids, or an exam they need to revise for, something that involves actual work, not making a sandwich and chilling.

Your mil was unreasonable for running after her on the way out - it's understandable why she did, as your daughter was probably very embarrassing to her by being so rude; but in the end there's not much she can do except try to cover it up a little while she's there, and then tell your daughter what she did was rude.

And you for seeming to feel that your mil was more in the wrong than your daughter - she clearly wasn't, her reaction was actually the most understandable and possibly forgivable out of the three of you!

Are you genuinely an employer who would really think that if they heard an employee left an event early to get home and prepared in time for work the next day?

Being awake for 14 hours? Bloody hell as a nurse we used to go out after our 12 hour shifts.

Rude to leave partway through a meal someone else will have paid a lot for!

I’ve recently had the same predicament I chose to stay until 10/11pm. Leaving in the middle of the meal is a bit off.

Not really, when it's served an hour (or more) late.

This.

She could have eaten main and then left. Bedtime is really early for an adult with not that early a start.

@LlynTegid

does a “responsible attitude to work” mean you have to be home by 8pm every single night? I think not.

In Laws should have kept their opinions to themselves.

I don't know why more people don't do this to be honest, it would save a lot of fuss and trouble.

She left at 8pm, not 11pm!

Not sure I've ever been given a minute by minute breakdown of the wedding timings either. Things happen. An hour late and leaving after the starter, I'd assume they had no intention of listening to the speeches either.

She left at 6:30

Rude of your DD to leave half way through the meal. She shouldn't have gone if she's unable to stay up until a normal hour and still go to work afterwards.

Christ on a bike.

She never goes out the night before work then?

Id have been disappointed and upset if a close family member had left the wedding early claiming they needed to be home at 8:15? Unless your daughter is literally 12 that seems very early - unnecessarily so, and rude considering the meal had been paid for.

Actually using the OP's calculations she left at 6pm, as it takes an hour and a half and she was home around 8 to 8.15.

I don't even start eating until 6pm, hahahaha!

No she left at 6.30 home for 8.00-8.15

Bonkers to need to get home for 8pm due to a 6.30 wake up. And yes, rude to leave so early. Another hour or two wouldn’t have made any difference. And she could have organised herself for work before going to the wedding.

Why must people like the OP write “cos” instead of “because”? Particularly when they are old enough to have a child of driving age?