DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

[Safarigiraffe]

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

i'm glad to have amused you. And now I have to work too.

Another one saying it is rude to leave in the middle of the meal for no good reason.

Sadly those parents are applauding the rude young woman for prioritising herself and setting her boundaries.

Because giving a fuck about other people is not an important social skill. Nope. Got to get home to spend an hour taking off make up and choosing an outfit for work, and then ‘decompressing’ after the arduous labour of attending a wedding.

Make sure you finish your breakfast first.

This

As for examples of jobs which might require a couple of hours of evening preparation (which couldn't have been done earlier, since somebody was out at a wedding all day), mine would be one, depending on what I was doing in the morning. But I'm not going to identify it here.

”You wouldn’t know them. They go to another school.”

Yeh in laws behaviour sounds very OTT but we can all do stupid things when we are angry.

She got home at 8pm and didn't have to be up until 6.30am so how on earth was she only going to get "a few hours of sleep". What time does she go to bed?

6.30am is hardly early. A lot of people are up at that time. The OP's daughter is pathetic and rude

If the OP's DD's job genuinely requires hours of preparation the night before to the extent that she can't stay out past 8pm - and I can't think for the life of me what kind of job would need that - then she should have declined the invitation to the wedding. It isn't reasonable to expect a social occasion with an evening meal to be done and dusted by 6.30pm. If she genuinely needed to be home by 8pm/had plans with friends/ wanted to watch something on Netflix etc, then she should have politely declined and let them give the place to someone else.

What time does she go to bed for work normally? I thought you were going to say it was a 6 hour drive or something, 1.5 hour drive away I'm not sure why she had to leave so early? I'd have left about 10.30 and got home for midnight, unless she's a brain surgeon I'm sure she could manage on 6 hours sleep for once. God help her if she ever has kids, she'll be surviving on less sleep than that.

Mil was ott chasing her out but I think leaving so early for a 90min drive home is pretty ridiculous too. It's pretty rude to walk out half way through the meal, most wedding venues charge north of £100 a head for full day guests, I'd have been a bit 🙄 if I was the bride and had paid for it.

On a bank holiday? It’s hardly likely she needed to prepare a complex brief or plan a day of lessons.

@SocksAndTheCity its not actually about the food.

It’s a celebratory meal. Sitting together to celebrate a wedding with a meal is an important cultural event.

deciding to get up and leave in the middle of that, and interrupting the bride and groom’s first meal as a married couple to tell them you’ve got more important places to be is incredibly rude.

The actual food consumed is not the point. It’s like interrupting a birthday party mid-singing happy birthday.

There are a lot of threads on MN from posters who are lonely, or feel really sad that they have been left out of social events.

There are also a lot of MNers who post on threads like this that they hate weddings, can’t wait to leave, see no issue with walking out in the middle of the vows if they wish, etc etc.

I would be interested to know the correlation between the first group and the second group.

She should have declined the reception invitation. This was rude

As for examples of jobs which might require a couple of hours of evening preparation (which couldn't have been done earlier, since somebody was out at a wedding all day), mine would be one, depending on what I was doing in the morning. But I'm not going to identify it here.

Given that she will have had weeks/months of notice that this wedding was taken place, surely such essential prep could have been done before that day. The wedding hardly came as a surprise, did it?

Nah, she was off out ...

I get up by 6 each day to work. If I never stayed out past 8, I wouldn't have a life. If I know I'm going to be back late (eg at Easter we went away for a few days, back v late Sunday night) I just make sure my prep - teacher - is done well in advance, my clothes are ready and my work bag is packed before I go away/out. I'd definitely eye roll internally at someone leaving so early but wouldn't get involved.

I think the other relatives overreacted but I think you daughter was a bit weird to leave that early. She shouldn't have attended. It is bad manners to leave a wedding early.

Maybe DD preferred to get home in time for the new Midsomer Murders rather than spend another hour in the company of OP's nightmare MIL?

Perhaps then she should have declined the invitation rather than be rude or disruptive.......

It it did appear rude. There is no reason why she couldn’t have stayed till after the meal, even if that did mean she got home at gone 10pm.

Your mil was ridiculous for making a scene about it

What if your dd had a bad stomach or something and was using work as a cover story to save embarrassment and then your mil starts making a scene. I know this wasn't the case, but people should just mind their own business

Maybe DD is a spy and had to rush off to meet her handler.

A wedding is a one off. Your dd surely could've pushed herself and stayed out later. I think she was being precious. We've returned late from holidays (3 hour delay last time), not got in until 2.30am and dc and I still had to get up and out for work and school. Your MIL was rude too but it was probably because your dc was being so OTT. Wedding meals cost a lot of money. Your dd should've refused the invitation if she was going to be inflexible. I've never been to a wedding where things haven't run at least 1 hour late.

I thought you were going to say the meal was served at midnight!

Your dd was rude to leave so early. Wedding meals are expensive!

Why did she need to be home by 8 for working at 6? Seems far too early.

The meal probably would have taken an extra 45 - 60 minutes to finish. I think leaving midway is incredibly rude.

Waste of money for the bride and groom and waste of a space at the wedding. Also maybe your MIL was looking forward to spending time with your DD and celebrating together.

She could have finished the meal and been in bed by 10pm. Or much more logically just booked the next day off.