Page 17 | DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

Safarigiraffe · 2023-05-29T22:07:20+00:00

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work) So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

EverythingsCominUpMilhouse · 30/05/2023 08:48

Unicorn2022 · 29/05/2023 23:21

She was totally unreasonable and wasted a lot of the bride and groom's money on that meal. She could have stayed several more hours and still managed to get enough sleep to get her through a day's work today. I bet she'd have stayed up all night if it had been one of her friend's birthday parties. Unless you are going to drip feed and tell us she is disabled or has a job that involves precision work or life and death decisions, she was totally rude and in the wrong here.

This ^

Chickoletta · 30/05/2023 08:49

Everyone is unreasonable here but your daughter is ridiculous. She left a wedding early, having not eaten the expensive meal provided for her, so that she could get home by 8.15 to prepare for work the next day?!? That is very strange indeed - I would say that a very high percentage of people get up for work at 6.30 most days and still manage to function and have a life in the evenings.

EasterBreak · 30/05/2023 08:49

She left very early for a 6am start. I'd have been annoyed if I was the bride and groom. Must have looked like she was bored and just wanting to leave.

EverythingsCominUpMilhouse · 30/05/2023 08:49

Honestly I wouldn't expect your DD to be invited to many more family weddings.

It comes across as very pathetic having to leave so early, when it's a hour and a half drive home, and she's home by 8ish.

My sister got married last month and if one our our cousins did this I would have been LIVID with them. So rude and inconsiderate.

She should have been upfront at the beginning and not accepted the invitation.

Stop trying to put the blame on MIL. She would have been so embarrassed that one of her guests was leaving during the meal.

ThanksItHasPockets · 30/05/2023 08:50

Oh dear. Your DD was very rude. Day guests at a wedding usually stay until the first dance and cutting of the cake. It is not a hostage situation and you can of course leave earlier if necessary but if you can’t stay for the full meal then you have to let the bride and groom know so that they don’t waste £70+ on your meal.

I don’t normally go in for the bridezilla nonsense of ‘covering your plate’ but on this occasion I hope your DD got them a nice gift in her own right (as apparently she is earning!) rather than you signing the family card on her behalf.

readbooksdrinktea · 30/05/2023 08:51

SweetBirdsong · 29/05/2023 23:57

Agree with this. Sounds very much like she didn't want to be there tbh.

Show quote history

Maybe she didn't and had felt pressured to go. I agree though that if you do go to a wedding, you should stay for the meal.

EverythingsCominUpMilhouse · 30/05/2023 08:51

Oh and for all the parents that pander to their children and have never encouraged them from a young age to be thoughtful of others - this is the outcome.

Well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

ZenNudist · 30/05/2023 08:52

Your dd was very rude. She did not need to leave so early and I'm not surprised your MIL said something. I can't believe you were not mortified by her leaving before eating an expensive meal.

IsItThough · 30/05/2023 08:52

I remember being quite hurt by a couple of people leaving our wedding early. But none of them even left before the food!

thecatsthecats · 30/05/2023 08:54

It's very counter intuitive to leave before eating dinner, surely?

I'd be ravenous by 8pm and need to spend time sorting food out when I got back.

Nevertheless, MIL did make it worse. One of my friends slipped out of the room during dinner at a friend's wedding to drop in to another party for half an hour. But rude, but pretty unnoticeable, and we were happy to nick his share of the platters.

But some of the guys on the table started loudly taking the piss calling him rude, drawing everyone's attention to it. Which is far ruder.

Sandylanes69 · 30/05/2023 08:55

I reckon your daughter had double booked herself and was going on to something else that evening......

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 30/05/2023 08:57

I agree that double booking herself does sound like the most likely scenario.

BretonBlue · 30/05/2023 08:57

thecatsthecats · 30/05/2023 08:54

It's very counter intuitive to leave before eating dinner, surely?

I'd be ravenous by 8pm and need to spend time sorting food out when I got back.

Nevertheless, MIL did make it worse. One of my friends slipped out of the room during dinner at a friend's wedding to drop in to another party for half an hour. But rude, but pretty unnoticeable, and we were happy to nick his share of the platters.

But some of the guys on the table started loudly taking the piss calling him rude, drawing everyone's attention to it. Which is far ruder.

Hopefully the pub where she met her friends was still serving food when she arrived

Blendintothebackground · 30/05/2023 08:57

Yes, I think very rude to leave without eating when everyone knows each wedding guest costs a lot.
you said bride and groom were fine with her leaving, they were probably just being polite!

I don’t see why she couldn’t have stayed just an hour or so more? Weddings always run late- hardly surprising!
Are you sure there wasn’t another reason she needed to get back so early?!

AnOKYearForTheRoses · 30/05/2023 08:58

I think your daughter was rude.

Leaving when a meal that someone else has paid for is about to be served to you in rude.

Well done to your MIL for highlighting it to your daughter. Maybe she’ll have some decorum in future.

Landlubber2019 · 30/05/2023 08:58

@Safarigiraffe

My apology, as you haven't updated for a while I began to consider you may be a troll but having looked, i see you are a regular poster.

I also think your daughter is rather entitled based upon your other postings and she went home early for a booty call whilst the house was empty and you were all out!

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 08:58

Aquamarine1029 · 29/05/2023 23:09

Your in-laws are unhinged. Fucking hell.

@Aquamarine1029

how do?
op’s daughter was extremely rude

SocksAndTheCity · 30/05/2023 08:58

Has nobody here ever seen the amount of leftover food at the average wedding? Or is it the norm for employees to stand over guests until they have finished everything on their plate like we used to have at primary school - I haven't been to one in years?

I'm assuming that by all the confident comments about how DD definitely had no need of being home at X time, the nature of her job has been revealed too, or there would be no way of knowing what this evening preparation entailed and posters would be at risk of talking out of their arses.

NoraBattysCurlers · 30/05/2023 08:59

It's incredibly rude to accept a wedding invitation and leave before the meal has finished.

ScatteredShattered · 30/05/2023 09:00

If she wanted to leave early in order to have a chilled-out evening / morning, she should at least have had the decency to make up an excuse.

Needing 10.5 hours of sleep/prep time is not any kind of excuse, I can see why they would be baffled and think it very rude.

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 09:01

thecatsthecats · 30/05/2023 08:54

It's very counter intuitive to leave before eating dinner, surely?

I'd be ravenous by 8pm and need to spend time sorting food out when I got back.

Nevertheless, MIL did make it worse. One of my friends slipped out of the room during dinner at a friend's wedding to drop in to another party for half an hour. But rude, but pretty unnoticeable, and we were happy to nick his share of the platters.

But some of the guys on the table started loudly taking the piss calling him rude, drawing everyone's attention to it. Which is far ruder.

This is another reason why I believe she had somewhere else to be. There is no reason for a young woman to be home for 8.15 even with work the next day.
She better be careful good ol' Facebook doesn't catch her out.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 09:01

user1477391263 · 29/05/2023 23:15

An early start for me usually involves preparing the evening before. If I get overtired and don’t have enough time to make preparations without stress I get migraines. I’ve learned not to push things to the limit. If she needed to leave at that time, I’d assume that there are reasons. She cleared it with the couple and was perfectly polite by the sound of it.

@user1477391263

so presumably you never ever go out in the evenings Monday to Friday?

Sandylanes69 · 30/05/2023 09:01

SocksAndTheCity · 30/05/2023 08:58

Has nobody here ever seen the amount of leftover food at the average wedding? Or is it the norm for employees to stand over guests until they have finished everything on their plate like we used to have at primary school - I haven't been to one in years?

I'm assuming that by all the confident comments about how DD definitely had no need of being home at X time, the nature of her job has been revealed too, or there would be no way of knowing what this evening preparation entailed and posters would be at risk of talking out of their arses.

You'd be ok with a guest walking out after their starter? Don't be ridiculous.

Katiesaidthat · 30/05/2023 09:02

I get up at 6 every morning and go to be at 10.30 pm every night. Even I can manage a one off at 48 and enjoy someone´s wedding banquet which they have very thoughtfully paid for. I was on the fence at the beginning. But now I think she vas very unreasonable. And your MIL is a drama llama.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 09:02

SocksAndTheCity · 30/05/2023 08:58

Has nobody here ever seen the amount of leftover food at the average wedding? Or is it the norm for employees to stand over guests until they have finished everything on their plate like we used to have at primary school - I haven't been to one in years?

I'm assuming that by all the confident comments about how DD definitely had no need of being home at X time, the nature of her job has been revealed too, or there would be no way of knowing what this evening preparation entailed and posters would be at risk of talking out of their arses.

@SocksAndTheCity
dont care what her job is, still rude