DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

[Safarigiraffe]

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

Really? On my wedding day with food an hour late the only thing I’d rage about would be being hungry, but generally can’t imagine giving a hoot if my dad’s cousin’s kid (‘s hairdresser’s sister’s neighbour’s osteopath twice removed) stayed or left. They only noticed as DD told them. It was only something to rage about because MIL acted the clown.

I know! 😂

It was her husbands cousins child. She her DDs second cousin. Nobody invites 2nd cousins to a wedding.

It was possibly a courtesy invite given under pressure. Which becomes even more embarrassing for those who laid on the pressure.

@Safarigiraffe

why on earth would she need to go home so early?!
does she normally need to be home by 8pm to prepare for work the next day?!
I think for a wedding she should have stayed later and just been a bit tired the next day - she’d have survived

It's breathtakingly rude to leave before the food is served. She really shouldn't have accepted the invite if an hours delay meant she missed the meal. It's a bit naive to think the bride and groom were ok with it. I'd imagine they were already stressed about the catering cock up. To then have guests leave is just awful.

She left at 6.30 it's not that late to be eating a main course at a wedding.

She should have declined the invite if she'd rather have gone out with pals.

Clearly she was planning to leave in the middle of the meal anyway. It wasn’t going to be finished within an hour.

It takes absolutely ages to seat a large group of people and then serve and clear 3 courses. That’s obvious.

I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding that has been on time - or that I have really noticed the meal was late. Did they give the time of the actual meal being plated in the invitation?

the bride and groom were probably thinking they wish she had declined so they could have invited someone who would have eaten the meal - and stayed to enjoy the wedding.

I also can’t imagine walking up to the top table to say goodbye to the bride and groom after the starter!!!

this girl needs to learn some social graces!

I don't think I'd have believed her excuse tbh. Needing to be home at 8pm because you've got a 6am start the next day? It doesn't ring true. I'd have thought she was going out. I'd also have thought it was rude to leave before food that someone has prepaid for. I'd also have thought any comments about it 'running an hour late' were poor form as presume this was unavoidable and it is like blaming the bride and groom for her missing the food.

I do think that, unless there is another more pressing reason, leaving the wedding before 7pm to get home a little after 8pm feels very early.

Did the B&G know in advance that your dd would be leaving early? Were they happy with this, knowing the food situation might be tight?

was it really ‘an hour behind’ or did your and you DD actually think it was going to be tucking in at 5pm sharp (having seen the meal scheduled at 5 on the invitation)?

I would have stayed overnight and then driven the 1.5 hours to work.

What a delicate flower your Dd is and MIL sounds nuts to make a scene about it.

Of course it's rude to leave before the hosts have been able to demonstrate their hospitality. She essentially said "This isn't worth hanging around for, I'm off."

I don't suppose anyone is very bothered that she left when she did, but it's undeniably poor behaviour. As if an adult can't stay out beyond 8.30pm just to show their appreciation - it was still daylight at that time!

Perhaps mil was worried that one person leaving would signal to others it was OK to do the same.

It seems a tad excessive to leave so early.

My thoughts too! Does she live with you @Safarigiraffe and you and rest of family are staying at the wedding?
Wondering if it's party at your house!
Leaving at 630 she was never staying for the whole meal was she?

She could have stayed another hour to eat the food. The food is very expensive part of the day. It is rude to prioritise having 3 hours prep time before bed over an expensive meal at a wedding. It doesn’t take long to iron some clothes and make lunch.

Hard to believe she couldn't go to bed an hour later than usual, as a one-off, for a wedding, when someone has paid a lot of money for her to be there.

She should have declined so they could've invited someone who was happy to be there and helped them to celebrate.

And even worse if she spent any time at all checking the time, stressing about things running late, saying that she'd have to go soon.

And here was me thinking I was the least rock-n-roll person ever.

Either your daughter is a neurosurgeon or she really, REALLY likes her sleep. 😀

I agree with posters saying MIL overreacted making a bigger scene than needed but also daughter left a bit early, even with a 6.30am start I'd have stayed at the wedding till about 8

Seems rude and attention seeking both at the same time. Plausible deniability because - work. Then demonising MIL for reacting (outside).

Even if the meal was on time surely DD would barely have time to be there through all courses and speeches etc and leave at the time she needed. Might have been better to decline invitation or speak to B&G before the wedding to give heads up about leaving straight after meal and possibly before.

Actually think saying goodbye to B&G publicly and before main course was phenomenally rude and it’s disingenuous to say they were fine about it. Arguably a lot ruder than MIL having a reaction in the car park that may well have been caused because of how the exit was handled

Obviously she had to leave sharpish. Last orders are earlier on a Sunday .

As if she went straight home.

The running late wedding is mea annoying but not exactly unusual. I do think DD should have stayed for it and then left discreetly as it would barely have been noticed and unless she's a brain surgeon or something similarly requiring of 8 solid hours quality sleep then I can't see why a grown adult couldn't be a little later home as a one off even with that early start.

Or she should have declined the invitation in the first place. Letting a likely £60-100 meal go to waste really is pretty rude.

Your DD was ridiculously rude to leave halfway through a meal. Getting home by 8.30 because 'work the next day' is a poor excuse.
It doesn't sound like the family behaved very well either but people often react badly to such awful behaviour.

I don't think so. After being at a wedding and longish journey home, it would take me a good couple of hours to unwind before I could sleep.

And I think your family are crackers, OP. They made a huge deal out of something that probably would have gone mostly unnoticed otherwise.