Mum friend with possible munchausens by proxy

[Schooldinners1]

What would you do?

I can't go into all the details RN but it's been going on for years.

Constant doctorsce trips in different cities, requesting different hospital when one hospital won't believe here, unexplanable illnesses, lack of diagnosis, mystified specialists, sitting in GP surgery waiting room for hours, hospital waiting room A+E, lots of messages about it all sending people photos.

Teachers suspicious and saying “don't think it's constapation”, doctors refusing to write up letters she's requesting.

Blaming allergies that are unproven and reactions for bad behaviour and constapation for when he's naughty.

Says he can't join in sports or plays because of bib or costume and his “allergies”.

There is always a drama and she seems to get pleasure from telling people about it all. Longer it goes on it looks more and more like her own “accounts” of these things happening.

The doctors stopped listening at a point she then became addicted to the homeopath. Who kept giving “pills” she then kept paying for calls even when on holiday to shamanic therapist cause his behaviour was so bad.

I don't even know when she will stop.

You have claimed to already be well informed. You have claimed an expert level knowledge. If that's true, you don't need any education from me.

I'm... interested by the role in this thread of some very angry posters who are saying they work in positions where they deal with FII, but whose posts don't demonstrate much knowledge of it. I am genuinely open to hearing FII-critical views, but so far haven't really heard any.

It's like arguing with an arrogant wall. 🙄

If you have anything beyond ad hominem, do share.

You cannot back your statements up- no matter how confidently and arrogantly you assert them.

Fine.

Have you read the thread? I have added throughout.

I'm genuinely just waiting to hear anything you might say that is actually an argument. I've already given a wealth of arguments throughout the thread.

I mean something that actually demonstrates why you take issue with FII, beyond some children having non ige allergic conditions (which I have not seen anyone in the thread disputing, least of all me).

None of this needs further discussion though really, at least from the OP's point of view. The OP does not know if this is just 'naughtiness' and whether the child feels iller on some days than others or what's going on with going for different tests. So- report it, although I'm not sure what you are actually going to say, as from what I can see there's not that much here, the child once used a wheelchair in an airport, not every day at school (so how is that incompatible with doing rugby weekly at a different time period altogether), they use alternative practitioners (like millions of people), they've been to more than one hospital (again, standard stuff, hard to get referred to different places through GPs so not sure how she's managing that unless privately), speaks as if her child is fragile and vulnerable (not great, but not social services worthy). The woman in question is very likely to be already on the radar of the school and health-care professionals in fact, she seek them out all the time!

The tale the OP has told is one that makes it sound like MbP might be a possibility and people are salivating (why?) at the prospect, but it's not a very rounded tale and when you get to the bottom of the actual accusations, they are not compelling if alternative explanations can easily be found. The child is not wheel-chair bound and all these health-care appointments are reported to the school, there are plenty of eyes on the child. Is it emotionally abusive, perhaps. Is it going to be something intervention-worthy, report to SS and allow them to make the call.

Plus if the person can get the council out (? is that even a thing) to do an assessment, and ask for 1 to 1 support, good on them. This is not given out to naughty children. It's incredibly hard to get SN provision at the moment, which makes this tale even less convincing to me.

Again with the reading stuff that is not there.

@ADHDDDDDDDBOOM Again with the having no actual argument.

The biggest thing here that is a red flag for me (but read my previous post about why I'm on the fence) is that this mum excuses behaviour as a reaction to foods a week after he's had them.

If you know your child has intolerances and what to - and that it's that that causes behaviour - you don't give them to the child.

But it may be the reverse iyswim? She actually knows he has behavioural problems and doesn't know how to support him so is seeking an answer.

Either way a report to social services should get her the support she needs.

It can easily take 72 hours for a non-ige reaction. And my DC are frequently given foods by school that they're not supposed to have. We have a constant guessing game or whether it's a reaction to something we don't know they had or if they've got a bug. School deny giving my DC the wrong foods but I've asked my DC and their friends and they call confirm theyve had the e.g. chocolate cookie

Thank you for this link. I've just listened to the whole thing. It's definitely worth listening to.

Not all allergies are easy to diagnose and DCs' positions change especially at the age of the DC in the OP. Our consultant wouldn't entertain any allergy testing at that age because it wouldn't necessarily be conclusive and hitting puberty can impact too.
Dh is allergic to dairy. He has been for years. He can still end up accidentally eating something with dairy. Sometimes because the ingredient isn't flagged in a sweet or sometimes because a trusted foodstuff changes its recipe and there's no publicity around it.
So it's perfectly plausible that a DC with suspected allergies could go through cycles of eating and being ill. It doesn't mean their DM is making it up. It doesn't mean their DM is deliberately feeding them stuff that makes them ill.
And the reason why people feel passionate is every nonsense thread blaming a mum reinforces the idea that a woman with an ill child must be attention seeking rather than an engaged primary carer constantly interacting with a sexist and seriously understaffed NHS. Despite the numerous papers, research and statistics that prove both of those facts.