not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

Yanbu I would never share a table unless it was somewhere like Yo sushi which I wouldn't go to for that very reason. I think it may be a North Souty thing as when we went to Chessington a lady sat in my child's picnic table seat when she got up to put something in the bin - the table was full. Something we noticed a lot down south people randomly joining occupied seats just bad manners you wait for a free table.

Most cafes I know say secure a table before ordering, else you end up with countless people loitering with hot (rapidly cooling) drinks etc. Anything else is silly.

They weren't unreasonable to ask, OP wasn't unreasonable to say no.

Then YABU.

@Aeth I have a Dx -- so I know that certain behavior is the result of dx, thanks. However, unless you are extremely disabled by your dx, as an adult you have to manage things for yourself, ie not going out to eat on a BH weekend if you don't like busy places. I never go to supermarkets or Central London, because I cannot cope with those things.

Hmm it probably was a bit U but I hate sharing with other people and I would go elsewhere if that was the only option rather than do that but equally it is annoying if someone takes up such a huge space for only 1 person.

Then why on earth did you ask?

There is no doubt that society is becoming more selfish and entitled these days (yes, I know not everyone).

How much did you spend? Bet it doesn't cover the potential earnings of that table.

I think you need to learn some social skills. Coz that's just weird. ^

So 2 people. They could have sat opposite each other at one end of the 6-seater table. And you could have sat at the other, with space between you.

You wouldn't have been sat any closer If the picnic table had been replaced with 2 small cafe style tables.

We were recently away on holiday and at one busy cafe it surprised me how many picnic tables were taken by couples sat in the middle of each bench. I did think about asking to share but didn’t want to appear rude, it’s good to see from this thread that it wouldn’t have been.

I don’t think you at one end and a couple at the other would have been overly intrusive OP. You can be seated that closely at single tables sometimes.

I don't blame you op. The problem these days is that if you share the table people don't seem to appreciate it or there is a high chance they will try and strike up conversation, invite their mates to join, take up/encroach on your space.

To be honest I find people very entitled and rude these days so always err on the side of caution. I would have only said yea if I had a large bag to put in the bench next to me and a large newspaper to mark my space.

So I left my bag there to reserve it

That's not how it works, I would have bloody sat there regardless of your 'reservation bag'.

Such utter bullshit.

It's selfish to hog a 6 seater bench when there are other people with food who want a seat. That's all there is to it.

Yabu and I would of just sat down anyway.

When a café is busy, it is quite selfish for one person to take over a table of six. I don't think it is fair on the business.

A couple did ask you if you wanted to share their table. Sharing tables does appear to be the norm in this café.

I frequently go to cafes and cinemas and theatres alone, and of course I share a table for 6 with other people. It’s extremely rude not to.

When the only seating is large tables or benches, the decent thing to do is to accept you will be sharing as a single or couple. If that isn’t ok with you, eat elsewhere.

I can’t see how you justify behaving otherwise, OP. You were rude.

How times change though. 2 years ago I think most people would have rather shit in their hands and clap than sit anywhere near a stranger 🤣

Read OPs posts. At this cafe you need to provide a table number when you order, so you need to get a table first.

You wouldn’t know that I have a disability from first impressions how would you like me to prove that I am worthy to sit at your table?

Yes, how very dare I expect to inhabit the planet and inconvenience all the families and friends who are more entitled to use my table!*
*
....The 'families and friends' and indeed all the humans in the cafe were more entitled to those seats than the empty air you wanted to occupy them...

No one's kicking you out of public spaces OP. In fact the only person who made anyone feel unwelcome in your own story- was you.

I have social anxiety and autism but you were selfish.
Sorry, this wasn’t assertiveness.
if you were sat at 6 table on you’re own I’d have sat there anyway. I can’t stand for long.

Come now OP.

You could have ended up sharing your picnic bench (a whole one! Imagine!) with any of the charmers on here who have spent the last 200 posts shouting at you on the internet. Why would you want to deprive yourself of such fun? You miserable society-wrecking dog-feeding DEVIANT.

It depends - table for 2, fair enough, table for 4+ yabu

Why are you bringing in the north south argument here?
Chessington as in near London? So you're saying you think all southerners have bad manners?

I mean I'm in the north end of Northumberland and sharing tables is expected if you're out on your own or in small groups. Heck just yesterday we did share a table!

I don't think you were unreasonable, and it may have discombobulated your dog to sit with a stranger.

Vile isn't it. Quite an eye opener this thread. It's certainly taken me from thinking I'd probably move up for a couple of people, to saying no, I'm not sharing with strangers, in the future.