not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

It absolutely is not OPs private place and no cafe or restaurant would see it that way.

I take it from this post that you've never worked in hospitality.
Yes every customer deserves respect, but it's disrespectful of OP to deny 5 people a seat.
You are not entitled to quiet, private enjoyment of a public space. If more people thought this way, the cafe would be out of business.

In many places OP would have been told to share the table.

Nope, unless person was frail /elderly /disabled, I would not feel obliged to share my hard-earned table! Don't like hanging out with strangers, and there's no guarantee she wouldn't be chatty/bring four rowdy toddlers and their families over/sit between me and the view.

That woman might not have asked you at all. The seats are there for the customers, you are nothing special. If you don't want to share tables, choose some other time to go to a coffee shop, that is what I do.

Who hurt you?

You could potentially have lost the owner 5 orders.

Sorry. You were very, very U

Table for 2 ok, any more - no.

Hard-earned?

@mainsfed

If the cafe only has picnic benches, what are single patrons supposed to do?

Share with other people, of course!

I think you were a bit of a dick, frankly. It’s hard on cafes when people waste space like this. And your dog is also taking up space without, I assume, ordering anything.

And if they'd just sat there without asking? (Rude, but possible)

@ShirleyEyeRosebud

Of course YABU. On what planet is it OK to expect to keep a table for 6 to yourself? I would have just sat down anyway if I were them. You didn't own/don't own the table! Incredibly precious entitled behaviour!

I go for coffees and mcflurries on my own in Maccies and Costa 2 or 3 times a month, and it's often busy, and I share the table I am on around 25% of the time I go. I could not imagine occupying a table for 4 or 6 on my own. Whilst others are standing up eating, or being forced to eat out in their car!

Weird, that some 45% of people think that YANBU. Bet these are all the type who have a seat for their bag on a bus or train, and act all disgruntled and pissy when someone has the audacity to want to use the seat for a human being.

@ShirleyEyeRosebud

This is my first AIBU and I am amazed that the vitriol being directed at me.

@HoldingTheDoor

But you've clearly decided from the start that you were entirely reasonable so why bother asking?

This. ^ You have asked AIBU @ShirleyEyeRosebud , many people have said YES you are, and you are all butthurt and upset because people are quite rightly calling you out on how ludicrous it is for you to expect to have a table for SIX to yourself! You, AND the 45% of others cannot possibly be serious?!

Yes OP. Next time you want to go to a cafe take a day's annual leave on a wet February Tuesday and sit at a goddamn soggy picnic bench eating a rainsoaked panini. With your little dog too!

Remember MN is a place where many people don’t do anything alone, whether that’s a meal out or the cinema or shopping. They are looking at this through the prism of their own inadequacies.
Thats false though. There are numerous posts about people being worried about going out alone whether it is to a gig, holiday, gym, cinema etc and loads of people come on, including me, encouraging them to do so and sharing their positive experiences about solo outings.

Thank you!

I’d be interested to see the reverse of this thread – I suspect most posters would have said that the person sitting alone was under no obligation to share their table etc etc!

Personally, I would absolutely have said yes, it wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest to share and as someone who eats out alone quite often I have had this happen to me a lot – but I still don’t think you were being unreasonable OP. Would it have been kind to share the table? Yes, of course. But was it massively unreasonable not to? No, not really. They had to wait a bit longer. No big deal.

Yes OP. Next time you want to go to a cafe take a day's annual leave on a wet February Tuesday and sit at a goddamn soggy picnic bench eating a rainsoaked panini. With your little dog too!
yeah, let’s go to silly extremes!

I think YABU if there was only two of them and you were taking up a table which could seat 6 on your own. They could've sat on the other end and not bothered you. Plus the business it could've lost the cafe. But as others have said, the point is moot because despite asking you don't think you have been unreasonable at all.

Yes you were miserable, share and talk to others. You may have enjoyed yourself.

If it was going to be two or three other people, like this, then yabvu.

I often go out on my own as I enjoy eating whilst reading my book in (relative) peace.

I would not have expected a table of that size to myself if it was busy

Of course it was selfish

most would prefer to not share a table with strangers but it’s it’s that important to you then go and sit alone in the park or stay home

yeah, let’s go to silly extremes!

An exhortation that becomes more redundant with every passing minute.

Then why do you find it okay to belittle other people's issues? OP didn't scream at them to leave, she politely said she'd like to sit alone, they left her alone... I'm not going to resign myself to a life of discomfort because of my autism, GAD or any of the others because people think I should just accept it as part of life. OP would have been wrong to be aggressive and attempt to stop them if they sat down anyway, but I'm glad she advocated for herself.

Yes, how very dare I expect to inhabit the planet and inconvenience all the families and friends who are more entitled to use my table!

I hate being sharing tables and hate it when people get too close etc but, honestly, a picnic table with 3 on one side 3 on the other? There was definitely room for you to sit at one end and them the other across from each other without it being awkward for you and I would fully have expected that to happen.

Rude!