not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

Whether there's 1, 2 or 6 of you shouldn't matter, you're effectively 'renting' that table for the time you're there, hence the hiked-up prices, as opposed to takeout.
seeing that you put it in terms of renting, it could be argued that you are renting a place for you to eat your food. You are not renting all the empty seats, they are for other people to sit in if they want.

YABU

YABU

I am not the most Sociable of people but I would, and have, allowed others to share a table in a cafe. Sometimes a 4 seater and there are 3 of them and Me.

@SquirrelFan

And 99% of those have changed their minds since OP added the fact that the table sat SIX people. I think a lot of people perhaps thought OP was sat at a table for 2 when they voted.

Why ask if you were unreasonable when you don’t accept that you were?
Mostly, brunch type places with picnic benches are shared spaces and yes, most people would share. You were selfish and rude.

My initial reaction was YABU but then when I really thought about it, would I want to share my table with a group if I was on my own? Probably not.
It's worse if you're on your own and sharing as you will feel like you're intruding on someone else's conversation as you will be sitting there in silence.
If I was with a friend and another couple wanted to share it would feel less awkward as both pairs are chatting away.
So in summary, good on you for standing your ground OP.

Also voted you weren’t being unreasonable until I realised it was a table for 6 you occupied. I assumed you meant a table for 2

If I am on my own I say yes to anyone wanting to share. Even on a table of two. Though I find there is less preciousness about stuff like this, and parking spaces etc in London generally as most people are happy find a chair to sit on somewhere!

I don’t think you were unreasonable, I wouldn’t have wanted to share a table either and I often go out for breakfast just me and the dogs too so completely get what you mean.

I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself
what would you have done if she said ‘ oh well, that’s a shame for you, there’s no where else for me’ and sat down. She wouldn’t have been unreasonable. All she wants to do is eat her food, like you do.

A picnic table for 6 I would happily share with two others as they could sit at the other end of the table and we would still be comfortably separate, but any more it wouldn't feel comfortable or would feel as though I was intruding on their table.

Wanting a table for 6 by yourself does seem a bit OTT.

Some of these replies 😂
@ShirleyEyeRosebud YWNBU. 100%. It is the cafes choice to only provide 6 seater tables, but that does not mean they don’t welcome or appreciate smaller groups, and absolutely does not mean customers should feel obligated to share when it’s busy!
It seems some people on MN have something against women who have the temerity to get out and about and enjoy their lives on their own. How absolutely DARE you OP? 😂

YABU. If you choose to sit at a large table when there's only 1 or 2 of you then be prepared to share.

I dont like sharng either but if i was alone i would expct to have to share sorry

usually i just get" is anyone else sitting here rather than can we share

This kind of response is just silly. I like going out and about on my own. But am also fine to share a table with others.

Is that what you'd do?

You had a whole picnic table to yourself and wouldn’t share? No, that is very unreasonable and I speak as someone with a big personal space. Seems hostile and rude to me.

No, you're not renting the table. You're renting a seat! One meal = one seat!"

And you need a table with that seat, to put your food on.
I stand by my comment.
And... those bench tables "for 6" are usually very compact.

It depends if it was a noisy group of 4, it's fair enough to say no (although the cafe might not think so), but if it's two friends on one side and you on the other then that should have been fine.

I'd work on the basis that if there's a spare seat between you then everyone has the personal space they need.

But you know, you are within your rights to say no - and if they were really unhappy about it they could have gone and spoken to the cafe staff, who can sort it out.

Yanbu

If I go out for coffee and cake etc and pay much more than I would at home for these, I want to enjoy the experience.
If I am alone I feel uncomfortable sharing a table. I don’t have any particular form of anxiety, I just don’t like it.
I wouldn’t therefore choose to frequent any establishment which only provided picnic benches and expected patrons to share. I find picnic benches uncomfortable and there is a seesaw effect when people plonk themselves down at one end.
If I unexpectedly end up in a busy place and have to share a table I put up with it, but I’d have to be desperate to share a picnic bench.

You didn't do anything wrong, OP. You waited 20 minutes. If the other person asked you if you were finished, they clearly weren't waiting beside you the whole time so the worst outcome is that they had to wait a few minutes themselves for a table. Three tables freed up shortly after, so it sounds like you just arrived at a pinch point.

*I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself
what would you have done if she said ‘ oh well, that’s a shame for you, there’s no where else for me’ and sat down. She wouldn’t have been unreasonable. All she wants to do is eat her food, like you do.
Is that what you'd do?

possibly, if there was no where else to sit. I’m not going to stand up and eat my food if there is a seat available. Why would I? I would look for other places but I not, why not?

Goodness, they were only ask you to share "your" table - not your food, drink and innermost secrets.

Of course you were unreasonable.