not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

That just supports my point.
Every unoccupied seat is money lost.

Be a bit gentle guys. It was clearly caused by embarrassment/ anxiety. OP I would suggest next time going out of peak hours or finding a cafe with smaller tables or not a communal sharing type vibe. Don’t worry too much about it though as you didn’t do it to be mean and you should be able to enjoy your purchase - just scout out somewhere a little more private x

Picnic benches are invariably better if they don't have space to bring the tables in at night or they can't lock the garden area; I used to work in a cafe and tables and chairs would often be stolen.

I often go out for breakfast on my own with my dog. I also am not a fan of sharing tables, but I would absolutely share my table if it seated 6 and would think someone was really very rude if I politely asked and they said no. There is a coat of living crisis and cafes/ restaurants are very much hit with high costs and 1 person taking a table that can sit more and refusing to share seems very unreasonable particularly for the business- I get you’re a regular but surely that makes you even more mindful of wanting to ensure they do as well as possible .

I voted yanbu but then I read about the picnic benches for 6 people - absolutely yabu 😂! It’s so irritating when one person takes up a large table and you are a party of 3 or more etc with attempting to squish round one table . definitely one to share - just be helpful, not selfish.

Hmm, my first thought was “not unreasonable” but you left out the very important detail of it being a table for six! That changes the picture completely, OP, you were being very unreasonable - I’d even say unreasonable not to take up the offer from the other group (and I say this as someone who much prefers a bit of personal space when at a cafe).

Sharing tables in a cafe is one of my pet hates. Whether there's 1, 2 or 6 of you shouldn't matter, you're effectively 'renting' that table for the time you're there, hence the hiked-up prices, as opposed to takeout.
However, a big table that could seat 8 probably should be shared, maybe with a max of a couple more people, as they can separate themselves. Those tables should be designated as 'sharing' tables by the management.

‘haven’t changed my view. I would do the same if it happened again.’

Hmm. I don’t get the impression that you do usually put yourself last. In fact, from your attitude I am thinking quite the opposite.

It's not your right to say no though. I think you were lucky that you were asked. I might ask you if you how many people were joining you but I certainly wouldn't ask if I could share your table.

The next people you do it to may not be so polite - I certainly hope so given your response above

I think I'm with the OP - you pay a premium to eat out, so you should be able to do that in a way that's comfortable for you.

If a cafe has lots of small tables and a single person or couple take up a 6 person one, that's a bit inconsiderate, but where there's one table, the customer waiting should be able to take it and enjoy her meal in peace.

OP isn't less important than the customers who arrived after her!

People can be cheeky fuckers in cafes - I had one last week hovering by my table waiting for me to finish and who actually approached my dd asking if she was leaving, while I was at the counter ordering her another drink.
I've also been the one with no table while a single person had the big one up themselves - sometimes that's just the way it goes.

I'm a single person who often eats out alone and I think you were rude and unreasonable to refuse to share a 6 seater table.

Me too. To refuse to share a table for six on a Bank Holiday Sunday is incredibly selfish.

It’s a commercial for profit cafe you don’t have an entitlement to space. Cafe needs to make profit, and profit is paying customers sat eating & drinking. The tables are meant to be occupied. Sole occupancy of a 6 seat bench isn’t optimal

1 person at a 6 person table. YABU sorry.

That premium goes up when people act like this though.

It's not, really, if you mean 'out of the ordinary' by 'weird'. Fully 48% of voters agree!

Several have said though that it being a picnic table for 6 changes their opinion.

I agree, @ilovesooty - hogging a six seater picnic bench to yourself does seem a bit mean! People sitting at the other end wouldn't have bothered you.

I'm happy to pay a premium rather than be crowded in with a load of people who i don't know and don't want to sit with.

I don’t think you mentioned how many people were in the group who asked to share. I guess if it was just two of them, Id have shared. More than two and it gets awkward as there’s not enough space.

I’m another single person who thinks you probably should have shared as it was just two people at a six person table.

On a side note, I can’t believe anyone would wait 20 minutes to get a table at a cafe!!! Maybe I am just dreadfully spoiled living where I do.

Another side note, I am surprised anyone wanted to share with you seeing as you had the temerity to not only be single, but to take your dog to a cafe!! In MN world it will have been shaking it’s slobber all over their food. When it wasn’t trying to bite children of course. 😍

True. I wouldn’t share a table that had a dog there! It’s a great deterrent.

@Zone2NorthLondon

It’s a commercial for profit cafe you don’t have an entitlement to space. Cafe needs to make profit, and profit is paying customers sat eating & drinking. The tables are meant to be occupied. Sole occupancy of a 6 seat bench isn’t optimal

It isn’t the customer’s job to inconvenience themselves to help a business make a profit. If single occupancy of tables is an issue, it is an issue for the business. There are easy ways around it. Or if they’re not willing to do that, then they can write “groups only” etc.

I don't think it's single person tax because even if you were there as a 2, the other couple would have likely asked to join the table- there's 2 spaces between so most people would be fine with that, hence the vote answer.

Someone asked if you minded and you did, so you told them so 🤷🏻‍♀️ they could have argued back and sat down anyway if they wanted to, and given the situation I think they'd have been within their rights really but they didn't so no harm all round.

Mumsnet is crazy, people are being rude to you and justifying it because they feel you were rude to someone else 😂 this always makes me laugh because they're telling you off for being rude but making themselves just as bad but won't have it when they're told they're being rude 😂 standard for this place!

It was very, very unreasonable to use up a 6 person table for only you!! Of course you should have shared! If it was a 2 person table then fair enough but it wasn’t

No, you're not renting the table. You're renting a seat! One meal = one seat!