not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

@ShirleyEyeRosebud

I do despair about humanity reading some of the posts on here.

@highlandspooce

Really OP? Really?!

Let's not go forgetting the fact that you refused to share a table.

Exactly this. The OP's posts are coming across as really disingenuous and one-sided. Why does HER right to want a table to herself (that fits 6 people,) trump the rights of the couple wanting to sit at the table to eat? She (and some other posters) are acting really bratty and entitled, like they own the table! Outrageous really, and I don't know anyone in real life who would act like this.

The parallel universe of Mumsnet strikes again! 😆

@ImAvingOops

OP isn't less important than the customers who arrived after her!

THEY are not less important than the OP either.

@ShirleyEyeRosebud

I am very socially anxious so I wouldn’t have enjoyed my meal at all if there was a group of friends chatting at the same table as me.

@realityhack

Then don't choose a cafe that is rammed with people! Its no-one else's fault you have anxiety.

100% this. ^

@SquirrelFan hard earned? really 🤦‍♀️

YABU

Being assertive is good, but this was inconsiderate and rude. Like putting your bag on the next bus seat when people are standing.

YABU to "bagsy" a table at all. This is not the school lunch hall.

Thank you. Yes, I did say it would have been fine if I was with someone but it would feel awkward on my own

@LumpyandBumps

If I go out for coffee and cake etc and pay much more than I would at home for these, I want to enjoy the experience.
If I am alone I feel uncomfortable sharing a table. I don’t have any particular form of anxiety, I just don’t like it.

Unfortunately if you want to eat alone and enjoy the experience your answer is not to go to busy cafes like OP did and expect to take up a space what can seat up to 5 other people. It's not difficult. I don't like being in lots of situations when I'm out and about but I make the clever decision not to put myself in them. If you have the need for a small table to dine alone you choose a place with small tables.

*that can

@PuddlesPityParty Sure, in the sense that she'd waited awhile in line to 'earn' her table, just as everyone in the queue did. Just because she's only one person doesn't make it any less tiresome.

This. ^ The % of people voting YABU or YANBU doesn't quite match up with the comments. The vast majority of which are saying the OP is being ridiculous and very unreasonable.

Remember some people are on the app and cannot vote too, and some people don't realise you can change your vote!

YABU.
Picnic bench style seating is pretty common for shared seating... you're lucky they even asked you if they could sit down.
Funnily enough, You probably drew even more attention to yourself being solo on a big table with people waiting to get a seat.

I changed my vote after reading it was a 6 seater table 😂 I person and a dog taking up that side is unreasonable, especially if it was a couple asking.

🤣

Love this.

Update on table-gate :- arrived at gastro pub today with trusty hound in tow. Ordered drink at the bar and told barmaid I would be sitting on the small table for two in the corner (taking up the minimum amount of space possible). She said there is a nicer table for four if you want that. Luckily, there are some empty tables ATM, so not inconveniencing anyone.

Thanks everyone for your comments, it has been a real eye-opener.

I like this too 🤣

Taking a whole big table to yourself is probs a bit greedy, but when with a friend I really hate strangers sat there listening to every word so I'd happily take a table for 6 between 2.

Very unreasonable on a 6 person picnic bench. Unfair on the people waiting and unfair on the cafe to only have one person on a table which could fit far more.
Not particularly unreasonable on a small 2 person bistro table (but then most people probably wouldn't ask)

I'm with this, providing they didn't look like a loud couple 😊

As a single person it's sometimes annoying having to go through life being expected to put yourself second to strangers' needs (e.g. certain families and groups who don't plan ahead and have a keen sense of entitlement). I try to be accommodating where possible but often you're expected to cooperate or else be labelled a big meanie. You get the impression some of these people aren't doing much compromising in their own lives.

In this situation a quiet-ish couple on a 6-seater would be fine and the establishment would get two extra covers. I'd probably feel less happy sharing a 4-seater table with 2-3 others (another solo person might be okay but then you feel obliged to chat) as your privacy vanishes/you're left feeling like a gooseberry on their table (and you were there first!).

The problem is that you could end up with a quietly spoken pair who don't disturb you. Or it could be someone who loudly wants to bless you with their views and it's impossible to block them out, thus ruining your time there.
I shared a large table at a cafe with two women. One wanted to chat with her friend but the friend didn't want to engage. Friend One was reduced to asking "Where do you buy your bread?" Friend Two: "At the baker's."
Unfortunately I was unable to escape this sparkling conversation due to proximity. I can definitely appreciate the OP's pov, but yes, go somewhere with small tables. But then you maybe still can't escape because tables are close together. So yeah, go at a quieter time
Sartre was right - hell is other people!

I would look at it from cafe’s point of view. They’d lose business if everyone sat one to a table.

NRTFT but has anyone flipped it and thought we're a two sitting at this table for six and single lady with dog asks if she can share. I bet a lot more would have said no need to share.

I don't think you were unreasonable because most as a single would feel uncomfortable by a larger group filling up the space. Then with the hound you have to become more vigilant are they chilled.

I’m with you OP. Why shouldn’t you enjoy your own table?

They can wait a little while & get their own.

Ah OP you had us all going there but have overreached with just coincidentally (I mean what are the odds eh) going into another busy place, saying you’ll take a table for 2 and - wow who would have believed it - being given a table for 4

Err, NO they can't 'wait a little while to get their own table.' The OP doesn't own the table. And 5 out of 6 seats on it are vacant! What an incredibly rude and entitled attitude you have.

YABU to expect to occupy a table for 6 people on your own, in a busy cafe. You could have waited for a table for two if you really wanted a table to yourself. If you can't be bothered to wait longer, you should be prepared to share imo.