not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

Whenever I see a lone person hogging a table for 6 I always assume they are a selfish fcker. Rightly or wrongly, thats what I assume.

1 person on a 6 seater table in a busy cafe isn’t on. If you want to sit alone chose a different cafe with smaller tables or quieter time.

I think you were rude, sorry.

If it was a table for two then that's different but taking over an entire table for six when you're on your own is a dick move IMO.

Hadn't seen the six-seater update - maybe you were a tiny bit unreasonable!

Interestingly, most of the other (six seater) tables were only occupied by couples. It isn’t the norm to share tables, as it may be in some establishments.

@Aeth You do as you do, I will do as I do. Meltdowns make me feel very ill so I do everything I can to avoid them. I am able to make choices so I do that to make my life easier. If I needed to be with support 24/7 and unable to verbalise my preferences that may not be possible, that is what I meant by 'very disabled'. BTW 'Self advocacy' is not a free pass to be a twat.

Depends on the table. If you bagged a table for 8 for your solo use, YABU.

I think this is so minor you don’t need to worry about it.

If the couple you turned away also had the same mentality and refused to share their table, then 3 people are occupying space that can accommodate 12. Depending on how many seats the cafe has, this repeated by any and all would ultimately cost the business dearly. They would need to add more seating to recoup the missing spend per person, increase prices or enforce table sharing at peak times.

You say you like this cafe a lot, so you should really consider how your actions could impact them.

I think if it had been a couple asking it's a little unreasonable not to share a large table. I understand not wanting to share with a larger group who may be a little louder.

Our local cafe has a few large tables which have signs on to say they're for sharing. A good idea to prevent situations like this.

I live in a popular tourist spot. Here the social etiquette is that if one person or a couple of people are on their own at a table that can seat 6-8, we should share but at the same time, I appreciate it must be tricky for people who get anxious in these situations if the cafe doesn't offer smaller tables for people on their own.

No one else was sharing tables. Most were occupied by 2 people.

In the situation where one person or a couple on a picnic bench and it was very busy, I wouldn’t ask permission to sit down as such - more check that no one was joining and then sit down.

Basically, anything that’s not meaning you have to sit opposite someone on a casual picnic bench is fair game I think

Yes, that's what I was saying, it's unfair to suggest others should hide away during busy periods. None of us should be telling OP she shouldn't be in a busy cafe on a bank holiday.
Luckily politely saying you'd like a table to yourself isn't being a twat. 🤷‍♀️

Do you think the same when there's a couple on a table for 6? Or is your distaste reserved for single people who want to go out and eat alone?

Totally unreasonable and a bit of a princess. 6 seater bench solely occupied by you
It’s ok to be assertive regard personal space safety where it is compromised. This wasn’t the case you were in a retail setting (eg a cafe) solely occupying a capacity for 6 table

I much prefer having a table to myself but I wouldn't expect to hog a table for six. I think I'd rather find somewhere with smaller tables, or maybe just get a takeaway that I could go and eat on a bench or something.

I do despair about humanity reading some of the posts on here.

Really OP? Really?

Let's not go forgetting the fact that you refused to share a table.

😂😂It's not, really, if you mean 'out of the ordinary' by 'weird'. Fully 48% of voters agree!

Interestingly, most of the other (six seater) tables were only occupied by couples. It isn’t the norm to share tables, as it may be in some establishments.
of course people will head towards empty tables, that’s reasonable and to be expected but as a place fills up it is normal to share. Anyway if you are only there to have a cake and coffee or whatever, what is the problem with someone sitting near you? It’s not like they are going to be tagging on with you for the day. I’ve been in cafes that would have been prefable to have some one sat at the table than on the chair behind me, they were that close.

Picnic tables are that size and convenient for outdoor seating. The cafe is there to make money not pander to unreasonable customers

The cafe is unreasonable to only have those huge picnic tables for 6 if they want to make money. A local coffee shop used to have them but got rid of them and fitted in many more tables for 2 and 4 instead that can be combined if needed.

I'm sure lots of people would prefer a table to themselves, if it's busy though and if a couple have already offered you a seat I don't see the issue with saying yes to a couple. I would say no to 3/4/5 people as you'd end up sitting really close! If it wasn't busy and there wasn't a 20 minute wait then I'd be more inclined to say no.

Of course she can be in a cafe but she should share when necessary, as should the couples in the cafe. If you can't deal with that then yes you should go elsewhere/get takeaway/eat at home/go when it's quiet etc. It's no different to public transport in that respect imo. Yes I'd rather not to sit next to anyone but if it's busy then it's only fair that I share. It's ridiculous to expect to treat it like my own personal space though I have seen people on MN trying to justify why their bag/imaginary friend should have a seat even if it means other people standing.

@Aeth Not saying anyone should hide away, just saying that OP should thought that the place would be busy on a BH and not hog a space for 6, if she knows she cannot cope sitting with others, she should have stayed home. I don't think that was polite, it was selfish.