not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

Well after reading these responses I would definitely say no now. They can queue up and wait for their own table.

I eat out on my own a lot and am hard line about sharing but I would let, for example, a couple, share a table of six with me, or another single person share a table of four.

No. They can sit at the OP's table. She doesn't own the table.

HTH.

Exactly!

If the cafe owner doesn’t have an issue with it then why should anyone else? If they feel it is affecting their profit then it’s up to them to advise customers or have a notice saying that tables may need to be shared at busy times.

You weren’t rude OP, they asked, and you answered honestly.

What about the benches behind you and to the sides? Surely they were nearer than two people on the other end of your bench?

They probably should sort out their seating arrangements so that there smaller tables available. That's their problem. Not the customers.

Really? I struggle a lot in social situations, I often find it difficult to speak to shop assistants and often can't bring myself to even ask for help at times. Even I wouldn't be afraid of OP, she sounds quite calm from her posts anyway.

I think if you were in the situation again maybe ask the person how many people are in her party before deciding, as sharing with 2 people you would barely notice but as others had said more than that would have been uncomfortable

That was selfish, you prevented the cafe from getting business it may well really need.

My cousin has just had to close his business because it wasn’t making enough money, it’s so hard for hospitality atm.

I am very chilled and not angry or scary at all. Unless you try to sit at my table without asking, which is very rude and ill mannered behaviour, round these parts anyway.

I love the way you pinpoint what you got from this. Kudos for changing your pattern.

I think moments like this are really important.

I've done similar things myself and now would approach things a bit differently: I'd let others share my table and I'd strike up conversation. I'd give myself more room to say what I really think, or to reveal parts of myself that I generally don't share with my nearest and dearest.

If I really, really needed to be alone, I'd get a takeaway and go for a walk.

So calm that she was shouting on the thread, which is what typing words all in caps is the equivalent of.

I think it depends how many of them wanted to join your table. Two would be fair, four would make me feel uncomfortable.

But ultimately you waited your turn and got the table. Its for the cafe owners to sort out really, not you

I love the way you pinpoint what you got from this. Kudos for changing your pattern.

OP is utterly convinced that she's right, as she was from the start judging by the rest of the thread.

YABU as you are depriving the cafe of customers unless it was a table for one. I wouldnt want to share a table with a dog in any case. Most folk wouldnt when eating.

I’m with you, OP. I’d hate sharing a table with strangers and it would ruin my meal. I won’t go to Wagamama for this reason.

It was a bit selfish, op, but not exactly the crime of the century and you were perfectly within your rights to refuse. Trouble is, you wound up feeling a bit awkward anyway (because you’re a decent person) so you may as well have said yes and felt awkward but kind than awkward and selfish!

I don’t think the issue is you being a lone diner - I think in a busy cafe as a lone dinner I would not have reserved a table for six

I agree. There was one of you and it was a table for 6. Definitely unreasonable.

YANBU. It’s the alone person tax, isn’t it? You don’t deserve a seat because you are alone

How does sharing a large table equate to not deserving a seat? I quite often eat out alone but wouldn’t begrudge someone else a seat at my table for 6. It’s just dickish behaviour and leaves everyone just feeling a bit deflated

Then dont choose a cafe that is rammed with people! Its noone else's fault you have anxiety.

This is done quite a lot at the local market where I live - it’s just benches and therefore Everyone has to share or people will just be standing around all day - of course you can say no if you don’t want to share - that’s up to you. I would always share tho - and expect that the benches were shared anyway. I think if you’re alone and it’s just two others then doesn’t seem so bad? But again - it’s up to you and you didn’t want to and told them so. Fair enough.

Not wanting to share with a group of 5 - reasonable.
Not wanting to share with a couple who could have sat at the other end of the table away from you - unreasonable.

Nah, sorry - first come, first served. YANBU OP. I would have said no - I don't want strangers at my table either. They can wait just like everyone else has to.

And to the PP that asked if OP would have shared if it was a mother with 2 small kids - that's a double no. No way!