Page 10 | not to share my table at outdoor cafe

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 2023-05-29T09:26:33+00:00

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up. All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok. So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table? I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself. AIBU?

unsync · 29/05/2023 11:41

Nope, you queued for your table. So can others. You are just as entitled to a whole table as a family of 6.

Aeth · 29/05/2023 11:41

@ShirleyEyeRosebud All these posts shouting at you and asserting they would sit down anyway haven't convinced you to share with one of them? 😁 You could chat about their finely-honed throwing technique as they launch your bag from the seat and sit with a face on while they eat their lunch!

I hope you have a nice lunch today. 😊

Original poster

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:42

DisforDarkChocolate · 29/05/2023 11:40

I'm on the fence here. If there had been two people I'd have happily shared a picnic bench. Four people would have made me uncomfortable @ShirleyEyeRosebud .

Thanks. It would have been different if I was with someone myself but on my own it would have been awkward for me.

OP posts:

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 29/05/2023 11:42

I think you're weird and selfish for refusing someone to sit down at 'your' table in a busy cafe.

EbonyRaven · 29/05/2023 11:42

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AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 29/05/2023 11:42

meatbaseddessert · 29/05/2023 11:38

I hate sharing but I always say yes.
I'm far more wary now after DH and I drove quite some way to a rural brewery/gastro pub type place.
Tables generally taken but not full and two blokes came up, drink in hand to ask if the rest of our table was free. It was a pretty big table so we said yes of course.
They sat down for a drink and within 5 minutes another two blokes pitched up and about 10 children who all belonged to these guys. They all squashed on together and I recall a child half sitting on my lap such was the lack of space and staring at me while I took a bite of my artisan burger.
A table suddenly came free and all the blokes left our table, sat at the free one a good 10 metres away and instructed the kids to remain at our table. They occasionally ordered them a few baskets of 'hand cut artisan fries' while they guffawed between themselves at the other side of the pub while the children screeched at each other on our table.
Fucking awful.

Yeah I've had similar before, where more and more people pile on and you find yourself pushed off the table.

Original poster

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:43

Aeth · 29/05/2023 11:41

@ShirleyEyeRosebud All these posts shouting at you and asserting they would sit down anyway haven't convinced you to share with one of them? 😁 You could chat about their finely-honed throwing technique as they launch your bag from the seat and sit with a face on while they eat their lunch!

I hope you have a nice lunch today. 😊

Thank you! I do despair about humanity reading some of the posts on here.

OP posts:

mondaytosunday · 29/05/2023 11:43

I think you should share, unless there were five of them! If it was one or two people it's unreasonable to keep a table of six to yourself. And I would have accepted the first persons offer.
I don't like it when one person sits at a table long after they've finished their coffee working on their laptop. Fine if the cafe isn't busy but it's not the library - move on.

EbonyRaven · 29/05/2023 11:43

Aeth · 29/05/2023 11:41

@ShirleyEyeRosebud All these posts shouting at you and asserting they would sit down anyway haven't convinced you to share with one of them? 😁 You could chat about their finely-honed throwing technique as they launch your bag from the seat and sit with a face on while they eat their lunch!

I hope you have a nice lunch today. 😊

I wouldn't DARE ask the OP if I could share. 😂 She sounds such an angry person!

Original poster

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:44

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That is really spiteful

OP posts:

EbonyRaven · 29/05/2023 11:44

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:43

Thank you! I do despair about humanity reading some of the posts on here.

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Bless you.

HoldingTheDoor · 29/05/2023 11:44

Thank you! I do despair about humanity reading some of the posts on here.

Likewise when people like you are too selfish and self centred to share a large table.

EbonyRaven · 29/05/2023 11:44

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:44

That is really spiteful

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It's really not. Get a grip eh?

HunterHearstHelmsley · 29/05/2023 11:45

AnarchoTyrannosaurus · 29/05/2023 10:59

It depends. Two people at one end, fine, begrudgingly. An extra 5 people sitting around you, then no.

I agree with this.

I was at a four seater table recently and a lady asked if she could use one of the other seats and I said OK, shortly after her son turned up with his three children. I felt like the interloper!

I'm happy to share but I think it takes the piss if a much larger group do it as they end up taking over.

ladydimitrescu · 29/05/2023 11:45

I'm sure I'll get ripped to shreds for this, but I was on the opposing end recently. Busy cafe, absolutely no seats left and picnic benches outside. I had bought my daughters lunch, and had a screaming baby to feed, there was a lady sat alone on a large bench so I asked if anyone else was sitting there, she said no and I just sat myself down. She was visibly annoyed, huffed several times before getting up to leave. She had no food or drinks, was just sat reading her book. On a day where there is absolutely no space and there are people buying food, it's a dick move to hog a massive table to yourself.

Original poster

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:46

EbonyRaven · 29/05/2023 11:43

I wouldn't DARE ask the OP if I could share. 😂 She sounds such an angry person!

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Not at all. How did you came to that conclusion from my posts?

OP posts:

Redebs · 29/05/2023 11:46

If you are travelling by train in one of those 2 forwards, 2 back spaces, would it be reasonable to tell other people not to sit in any of them because you wanted to be alone?

Hairpinleg · 29/05/2023 11:46

Were all the tables for 6? Ideally the cafe would have 2, 4 and 6 seaters in the space and someone allocating them to groups and individuals as they become free. Then they would take your order at the table. Now I've wandered off into fantasy land when table service in cafes used to be the norm...

CremeEggThief · 29/05/2023 11:46

On balance, YABU.

Of course nobody wants to share a table, but on the other hand I think it is selfish not to share when space is at a premium. I couldn't have said 'no' if I were you anyway!

notacooldad · 29/05/2023 11:47

They don't have the same entitlement, because they didn't get there first. Hence needing to ask permission.
No one needs to ask permission. The person sitting there first or people wanting the vacant seats don't own the table. The cafe does. It may be a manners to ask but people can over rule you and sit down if you say no.

Original poster

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:47

Hairpinleg · 29/05/2023 11:46

Were all the tables for 6? Ideally the cafe would have 2, 4 and 6 seaters in the space and someone allocating them to groups and individuals as they become free. Then they would take your order at the table. Now I've wandered off into fantasy land when table service in cafes used to be the norm...

Yes, all picnic benches.

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 29/05/2023 11:47

Addymontgomeryfan · 29/05/2023 11:34

I can't believe some of these comments. You weren't unreasonable at all, you had waited for a table, just because there were more seats than you needed doesn't mean you should have to share if you don't want to. I hope you had a great meal.

If it was the sort of café that makes you wait to be seated (my local one does this) then the OP wouldn't have been seated at that table unless she was prepared to share, she would have had to wait.

Cafes cannot afford to lose those sorts of numbers over a Bank Holiday weekend when they need to maximise sales.

SlipSlidinAway · 29/05/2023 11:48

mondaytosunday · 29/05/2023 11:43

I think you should share, unless there were five of them! If it was one or two people it's unreasonable to keep a table of six to yourself. And I would have accepted the first persons offer.
I don't like it when one person sits at a table long after they've finished their coffee working on their laptop. Fine if the cafe isn't busy but it's not the library - move on.

Op has said there were 2 people wanting to share.

Redebs · 29/05/2023 11:48

ladydimitrescu · 29/05/2023 11:45

I'm sure I'll get ripped to shreds for this, but I was on the opposing end recently. Busy cafe, absolutely no seats left and picnic benches outside. I had bought my daughters lunch, and had a screaming baby to feed, there was a lady sat alone on a large bench so I asked if anyone else was sitting there, she said no and I just sat myself down. She was visibly annoyed, huffed several times before getting up to leave. She had no food or drinks, was just sat reading her book. On a day where there is absolutely no space and there are people buying food, it's a dick move to hog a massive table to yourself.

Borders in Oxford used to be like that. Students with laptop and books taking up whole tables.

They went out of business.

Aeth · 29/05/2023 11:48

ShirleyEyeRosebud · 29/05/2023 11:43

Thank you! I do despair about humanity reading some of the posts on here.

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Going by some of them, you'd think the couple had run off crying instead of just going to another table!

I'm glad to see someone politely advocating for themselves. Nothing wrong with saying it, it's not like the couple were forced to comply.