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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have covid and attend outdoor event, would you go?

297 replies

Mydietstartstomorrow · 28/05/2023 06:59

Tested positive for covid on Friday after feeling rough for a few days but just thought it was a head cold, was pretty surprised when that red line appeared! Felt much better yesterday and this morning. There’s an outdoors music festival on today, which I’d ruled out since said red line but friends (ones that were, 3 years ago, very freaked out by the whole thing, rule abiding, social distancing fanatics etc) are like “it’s fine just go, it’s just a cold now” etc! But I feel uncomfortable about it. Obviously I wouldn’t hug anyone or cough on them (bit of a cough still!) wwyd? Would you still go?

OP posts:
peachicecream · 28/05/2023 08:23

Mydietstartstomorrow · 28/05/2023 07:46

Yeah I was a fanny about the rules! 🤣
that’s why I had said I’d ruled out going and when friends keep badgering me about it I feel uncomfortable about it, hardly fck the rules! -read the post…..
not that it makes much difference but it’s not Glastonbury, it’s a small local day of bands in a field where people sit down, have a picnic and a few beers and listen to music. No Harry Styles, not that I’d want to see him anyway! 🤣

Just tell your friends you feel unwell and can't go. There's no need to have the whole debate about social responsibility as it sounds like they obviously don't care. Tell them you're ill and not feeling up to it, and stay away.

Hbh17 · 28/05/2023 08:23

Please just go - and also, stop testing, it's absolutely not necessary.

barmycatmum · 28/05/2023 08:25

Emptycrackedcup · 28/05/2023 08:14

No, because I'm not an ahole. I also wouldn't go if I had a bad cold and thought I was infectious. I hate being sick and would hate to make someone else sick

This. Exactly this.
what on earth has happened to people, that they have so little empathy and don’t care about passing on illness as long as they don’t have to know about it?

this thread makes me feel like the majority of humans are dishonorable, selfish, heartless parasites.

yeah. Go to a fucking music festival and have fun. Who cares who is harmed by you. Ffs

VerityUnreasonble · 28/05/2023 08:25

RampantIvy · 28/05/2023 07:23

If it is Slam Dunk in Leeds please don't.

Ha that's what I was thinking too!

Have a great time!

Tessisme · 28/05/2023 08:26

I generally try to be considerate and don't take my coughs and germs anywhere if I can avoid it. I don't care what other people do. I was starting to get a bit complacent about Covid - it's just a cold etc - but my 10yo is now immunosuppressed due to medication for a lifelong condition and I am back to being hyper aware of the dangers for some people of catching Covid. I don't understand why someone would bother testing though, unless they were going to act on a positive result. If I test positive for Covid again, I intend to keep my germs to myself and if I have to be around people, I'll wear a mask and keep my distance to minimise the chances of spreading it.

Tinkerbyebye · 28/05/2023 08:26

No I would go only if I had a negative test

FabFitFifties · 28/05/2023 08:28

Go. Most nurses are now not testing. We've been told to move on. Those people who are most vulnerable are not likely to attend crowded events. Wear a mask if it helps your conscience, take alcohol gel to use regularly. You aren't breaking any rules and you've informed your friends.

crumpet · 28/05/2023 08:29

barmycatmum · 28/05/2023 08:25

This. Exactly this.
what on earth has happened to people, that they have so little empathy and don’t care about passing on illness as long as they don’t have to know about it?

this thread makes me feel like the majority of humans are dishonorable, selfish, heartless parasites.

yeah. Go to a fucking music festival and have fun. Who cares who is harmed by you. Ffs

Show quote history

It is a shame that the concept of making a sacrifice (or even a mild inconvenience) for the benefit of others seems to be falling away. People are very defensive on this thread at the mere thought.

HoppingPavlova · 28/05/2023 08:30

I wouldn’t go, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t test either. I use the philosophy of, if I’m too unwell to go out then I stay home (no matter what I have), if I feel okay then I go out. People can’t hide away with colds now for the rest of their lives, and so it should just be on severity of symptoms of whatever you have, just as it’s always been really.

Original poster
Mydietstartstomorrow · 28/05/2023 08:32

Wishawisha · 28/05/2023 08:12

Yes I don’t understand why you’d test and then decide to go out and about. It’s nonsensical.

Show quote history

I have put this on one of my other posts but for those not reading, I had a minor medical procedure booked for Friday and was advised to test that morning, which I did, and lo and behold it was positive. I wouldn’t have tested otherwise as I thought it was just a head cold or allergies

OP posts:
GIorious · 28/05/2023 08:38

GreenWheat · 28/05/2023 07:23

Those people are probably not at a music festival though, are they? As in, a place swarming with people at close quarters who could have any number of diseases dangerous to people with compromised immune systems.

Show quote history

That's right, those of us who are immunosuppressed don't lead normal lives where we go to work, have DC in school, go to busy shopping centres, use public transport, go to gigs or festivals...

Of course we do, and we always did. We don't shut ourselves away and only did so when covid was an unknown entity, and there were no vaccines. Vaccines don't work very well for a lot of us anyway as our bodies are unable to produce a satisfactory immune response - they don't do much to stop us catching it, but they can reduce symptoms when we do. That's why I've had covid nine times and no, it's not because I go to loads of gigs and crowded bars or whatever (I've been to two gigs in three years).

All that said, nobody is testing anymore (well, the general population - I test weekly before I inject my meds, which is why I know how many times I've been infected. Some infections were asymptomatic and I wouldn't have known otherwise). I wouldn't expect anyone to not go to an event, particularly an outdoor one, if they had a cold or hayfever, which if you're not testing you would probably believe your symptoms to be.

Colds and flu kill immunosuppressed people all the time, and nobody expects people to stay home if they have a runny nose. Many people don't have that option anyway - they have no choice but to go to work or take DC to school or whatever. And I'm willing to bet that every single one of those telling you to stay at home and isolate have been to work with a cold in the past.

Ultimately it's up to you OP but if you decide to go, I hope you have a lovely time!

GIorious · 28/05/2023 08:39

barmycatmum · 28/05/2023 08:25

This. Exactly this.
what on earth has happened to people, that they have so little empathy and don’t care about passing on illness as long as they don’t have to know about it?

this thread makes me feel like the majority of humans are dishonorable, selfish, heartless parasites.

yeah. Go to a fucking music festival and have fun. Who cares who is harmed by you. Ffs

Show quote history

You've never been out in public with a runny nose then? Or sent your DC to school with one?

Zebedee55 · 28/05/2023 08:39

When Covid kicked in, DH and I had to shield (underlying health issues).

We followed all the rules, and had the vaccines.

My husband died of Covid in April - we didn't go to festivals, we didn't even go in shops, so he must have caught it outdoors somewhere.

Just stay in if you know you've got it.🙁

GIorious · 28/05/2023 08:40

Tinkerbyebye · 28/05/2023 08:26

No I would go only if I had a negative test

You can test positive for weeks. I once tested positive for four weeks after an infection.

Zanatdy · 28/05/2023 08:41

If the people you’re going with are fine with it then go. There will be loads of people there with it, without testing no doubt as most don’t now

PuttingDownRoots · 28/05/2023 08:41

I unwittingly sent my child to school for several days with Covid. It was when her father had a positive test we realised and she was over her symptoms by then. She was basically extremely tired and grumpy and had a dry throat.

Her father had similar symptoms (at work, not at home) and only tested as he thought falling asleep at 5pm and sleeping to morning wasn't right... prior to that he thought it was remnants of his hangover from the weekend and 200 mile drive.

Original poster
Mydietstartstomorrow · 28/05/2023 08:43

GIorious · 28/05/2023 08:38

That's right, those of us who are immunosuppressed don't lead normal lives where we go to work, have DC in school, go to busy shopping centres, use public transport, go to gigs or festivals...

Of course we do, and we always did. We don't shut ourselves away and only did so when covid was an unknown entity, and there were no vaccines. Vaccines don't work very well for a lot of us anyway as our bodies are unable to produce a satisfactory immune response - they don't do much to stop us catching it, but they can reduce symptoms when we do. That's why I've had covid nine times and no, it's not because I go to loads of gigs and crowded bars or whatever (I've been to two gigs in three years).

All that said, nobody is testing anymore (well, the general population - I test weekly before I inject my meds, which is why I know how many times I've been infected. Some infections were asymptomatic and I wouldn't have known otherwise). I wouldn't expect anyone to not go to an event, particularly an outdoor one, if they had a cold or hayfever, which if you're not testing you would probably believe your symptoms to be.

Colds and flu kill immunosuppressed people all the time, and nobody expects people to stay home if they have a runny nose. Many people don't have that option anyway - they have no choice but to go to work or take DC to school or whatever. And I'm willing to bet that every single one of those telling you to stay at home and isolate have been to work with a cold in the past.

Ultimately it's up to you OP but if you decide to go, I hope you have a lovely time!

Show quote history

Thank you Glorious for your very rounded post! It’s interesting to hear from someone that is immunosuppressed how they feel.
I have tested negative this morning but have decided not to go as I’d just feel too uncomfortable, it’s not right.
I was thinking this anyway, not a carefree fck it attitude that some replies seemed to think, but was interested to see if most people think like myself or whether I’m being over cautious and should just get on with it!

OP posts:
GIorious · 28/05/2023 08:45

DreamCatcherTheThird · 28/05/2023 07:53

No I wouldn’t go, some people live with a compromised immune system. A friend for instance has one transplanted kidney or pregnant women.

Advice is pretty straightforward.

NHS advice

Yes, the advice is absolutely crystal clear:

Try to stay at home and avoid contact with other people if you or your child have symptoms and either:

  • have a high temperature
  • do not feel well enough to go to work, school, childcare, or do your normal activities
You can go back to your normal activities when you feel better or do not have a high temperature. If your child has mild symptoms such as a runny nose, sore throat or mild cough, and they feel well enough, they can go to school or childcare.

OP has no high temperature and feels well enough to go about her normal activities.

Also worth noting that the advice is that children can go to school with covid if they are well enough.

That's the NHS advice, not the advice of the good doctors of Mumsnet.

Coasterfan · 28/05/2023 08:46

I wouldn’t have tested and if I felt well enough I would have gone but I don’t think I could knowingly go with a positive test, I know it’s a cold for a lot but for others it’s horrific, so I don’t think I would. That sounds silly I know but I could be walking round with it asymptomatically right now, I m not testing daily on the off chance but I just think knowing you could infect someone really vulnerable makes it a no.

Rowthe · 28/05/2023 08:47

I dont test anymore so wouldn't have known, so if I felt well would have gone

GIorious · 28/05/2023 08:49

Mydietstartstomorrow · 28/05/2023 08:43

Thank you Glorious for your very rounded post! It’s interesting to hear from someone that is immunosuppressed how they feel.
I have tested negative this morning but have decided not to go as I’d just feel too uncomfortable, it’s not right.
I was thinking this anyway, not a carefree fck it attitude that some replies seemed to think, but was interested to see if most people think like myself or whether I’m being over cautious and should just get on with it!

Show quote history

I'm sorry you've decided not to go, particularly as you've tested negative - you won't be infectious now. If you want to go and you still can, you should.

It's obvious you weren't being cavalier about covid, the very fact you posted for advice proves that. You clearly had concerns despite some of the responses here claiming otherwise.

Seriously, go if you want to and have a fabulous time!

Toomanylosthours · 28/05/2023 08:53

GreenWheat · 28/05/2023 07:23

Those people are probably not at a music festival though, are they? As in, a place swarming with people at close quarters who could have any number of diseases dangerous to people with compromised immune systems.

Show quote history

Are you seriously suggesting people with weakened immune systems don't go to music festivals? Well... I'm one of those who has weakened the immune system and attends one of the large 4 day festivals every year. I've had 5 covid vaccinations now, and i'm also currently laid in bed for the 5th day feeling exhausted from this current bout of covid.

caringcarer · 28/05/2023 08:54

No don't spread Covid. Some people still get quite ill with it.

Flounder2022 · 28/05/2023 08:54

BriarHare · 28/05/2023 08:02

I’d go. I don’t know anyone that still tests. Loads of people there could have covid and not know it.

MN is actually the only place I see covid still mentioned.

I’d assume the CEV take their own precautions.

But she does know!

@Bbqshowdownusa

'Im not stopping my life for something so minor.' Pray it doesn't decide to stop yours. House bound for 6 months. Almost at a year off work. Still unable to walk up more than 1 flight of stairs. Constant severe pain in my whole body. Early menopause. In agony if I walk more than 20 mins.

Has the common cold done that to you?

MrsRandom123 · 28/05/2023 08:54

I would go but then i wouldn’t have taken a test.

i would previously would have with a cold but not flu or d&v etc - you know yourself when you are really unwell.