To be pissed of with this re sleeping arrangements?

[shestakingtheurine]

I'm going to a friends hen do at the end of June. I have known this friend since I was at secondary school so we have developed different friends over the years so I'm only vaguely familiar with the other ladies going. The maid of honour has done all the booking and is now asking for the money for the accommodation she's booked except she's sent link to the air bnb she has booked and it's only got three bedrooms and three double beds for seven people. I questioned this if she had made a mistake or are we supposed to be sharing beds and she said yes. Aibu to not want to share a bed with a virtual stranger? Would you pay up or back out? I feel like I've been put in a difficult position now as if I don't pay the others price will go up so I can't even find my own accommodation. I honestly feel sick.

Well if everyone wants a room to themselves the costs will double. It's fine if you can afford that I guess.

Having organised a few of these things it's such a thankless task. People expect the moon on a stick in terms of accommodation, food, activities, covering the costs of the hen and they expect it all to come in at £7.50 a head for the weekend. It's just not realistic in terms of what things cost and the easiest way to save money is to share rooms/beds as needed.

There is probably another question around if these expensive weekend hen dos are really necessary/appropriate at all but if you are going to do them I think you have to accept that if you don't share it becomes (even more!) prohibitively expensive.

I would pull out now before someone else does OP. Will be harder to justify once the group is reduced to 6

I certainly wouldn't be going. I would also refuse to feel guilty.

She needs to look at the rental agreement, some places reserve the right to refuse entry to more than the specified number. Moreover some holiday let rental insurance only insures the owner for the number of people that there are beds for.

And yes i would bail.

Fuck the matching pyjamas, fuck the whole thing off if you're not happy.

I can't see how this is socially acceptable in any way at all (booking without discussion and pre agreement from all involved).

If you don't want to go, it might be better to get in there first. Others might be thinking the same and she might "be down money" if there's lots than 6. Depends on the term of the booking I guess.

I’m really shocked the majority of posters think YANBU!
Never knew I was so laid back but I think YABVU. This is completely the norm on hen dos and I’ve been to a lot.
If one person doesn’t know anyone but the bride then they share together.
By the time bedtime rolls around in the early hours you will probably be very drunk and firm friends with everyone anyway.
Don’t pull out because your friend (bride) will be disappointed.

I honestly think it depends how old you are, I'd probably be fine with it if my 20s but not after my 30s. Sharing a room fine if its necessary not sharing a bed, I want a decent sleep thanks! I've been away on lots of girls weekends and generally we have our own rooms. I don't mind sharing a bed with someone I actually know who is a friend.

I'd check the area for more suitable accommodation and suggest that on the group chat ... I would be pissed off too!

No fucking way
Just send a text in the groupchat
Find a different place online with more beds
Suggest that place to the group

@spilltheteapot

You can't expect 2 strangers sleeping in the same bed that is bizarre. I would be emberassed if that was the arrangements made for my hens weekend. And I would cancel it if my moh did that.

That being said I never had a hens weekend or a maid of honour. 🤣

Its all just ott nonsense. That forces people to spend money anmotime on a weekend away with s t r a n g e r s

What's wrong with simple drinks in a pub.
(And even that will cost the guests so money for a taxi and all their drinks and food....but that's sort of justifiable... ish)

Some people make it seem like they are more interested in the hens/wedding and not the marriage...

I won't mind... sound like you know them as acquaintance. It's not a big deal plus it's only 2 nights.

If your not happy, book your own accommodation and ask for money back. But that mean the others will pick up the costs.

How long is it for? If it was just one or two nights I would probably suffer it, but I would try and see if I could share with the bride. At least I would know her!

i wouldn’t feel bad about cancelling though. It sounds like hard work if you don’t really know anyone but the bride
and on top of that the sleeping arrangements are dodgy.

I'd share rooms but not beds

Share a room yes, share a bed no. The MOH is being really unreasonable booking it this way. I might have gone for this as a teen with friends, we used to just sleep wherever and would have been people there we didn't know, but now no way.

I’d have to talk to my friend and explain that it’s not going to work for me and try to change the plans. I wouldn’t want my friend disappointed so I’d try to get the plans changed rather than just back out. No way I’d share a bed with someone I hardly know, or risk being number 7 and sleeping on the floor. If it couldn’t be changed, yes, I’d just say I wasn’t going.

I couldn't do that x

No way would I be going. A long time ago I actually didn’t go to my sister in laws for similar reasons. A few people dropped out because of it, she also had terrible anxiety, she hated what activities were chosen and sharing a bed herself. She can laugh about it now, we think that it was more about what the maid of honour wanted more than anything!

Are the beds definitely double? Some places have double beds that are actually two single beds. Depending on the group configuration they're split up or kept together.

Even if that's the case, it still doesn't sort out the 7th person though.

Is it far? Could you join for the first day or the second day (between the two nights) and then make your way home? It sounds like it's going to be a stress. And you can do it graciously in order to "help the group". 😉

How bizarre to book that up and think it was okay 😵‍💫

They could be zip and link beds which turn into 2 singles?

I'd try and get more info before pulling out. But ultimately if I was expected to share or kip on a sofa, I wouldn't go.

Nah I hate people that do this, usually to save money. Adults need their own space, not a sofa

OP, I wouldn’t even share a room and a bathroom unless it was with my daughters. I wouldn’t even have done it decades ago. YANBU.

Sorry, just to add that I have spent the last two nights curled up in my Emperor sized bed with 2 of my grandchildren. But that’s completely different.

What is do special about it tgats it's worth £1800??