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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with this re sleeping arrangements?

408 replies

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 22:20

I'm going to a friends hen do at the end of June. I have known this friend since I was at secondary school so we have developed different friends over the years so I'm only vaguely familiar with the other ladies going. The maid of honour has done all the booking and is now asking for the money for the accommodation she's booked except she's sent link to the air bnb she has booked and it's only got three bedrooms and three double beds for seven people. I questioned this if she had made a mistake or are we supposed to be sharing beds and she said yes. Aibu to not want to share a bed with a virtual stranger? Would you pay up or back out? I feel like I've been put in a difficult position now as if I don't pay the others price will go up so I can't even find my own accommodation. I honestly feel sick.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 27/05/2023 00:06

I wouldn't like this at all and would definitely pull out. You can't expect people who know each other to share a bed without checking first, let alone strangers!

Has anyone else commented?

suburbophobe · 27/05/2023 00:11

I'm an insomniac so no way I would be going.

I'd feel dreadful tossing and turning while sharing a bed with virtual strangers.

suburbophobe · 27/05/2023 00:12

P.s To them! Not to me, I'm used to it.

Mmhmmn · 27/05/2023 00:14

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 22:20

I'm going to a friends hen do at the end of June. I have known this friend since I was at secondary school so we have developed different friends over the years so I'm only vaguely familiar with the other ladies going. The maid of honour has done all the booking and is now asking for the money for the accommodation she's booked except she's sent link to the air bnb she has booked and it's only got three bedrooms and three double beds for seven people. I questioned this if she had made a mistake or are we supposed to be sharing beds and she said yes. Aibu to not want to share a bed with a virtual stranger? Would you pay up or back out? I feel like I've been put in a difficult position now as if I don't pay the others price will go up so I can't even find my own accommodation. I honestly feel sick.

YANBU.
Maid of honour is crap at logistics and emotionally UNintelligent.

LemonRoseCat · 27/05/2023 00:14

I’d be fine with it and it’s pretty standard on hen dos.

OneHundredOtters · 27/05/2023 00:18

I don't know o think everyone is being a bit divaish. All the hen dos I've been to recently have had a mix of doubles and singles and people have just got on and shared if needed. I guess people probably pick the people they are closer with to share with but we've worked it out.

It's a nightmare finding accommodation for these things and unless you are in a hostel type place getting singles for everyone is unlikely.

Suck it up or take an airbed and sleep on the floor.

There only being 6 beds for 7 people and sneaking an extra person in is more of an issue though.

NoraBattysCurlers · 27/05/2023 00:20

This is something that you should have checked before agreeing to go.

I think you should have taken the opportunity to back out of the arrangement as soon as you discovered the Airbnb only accommodates six. The longer this drags on, the more awkward it will become.

BillyNoM8s · 27/05/2023 00:23

I wouldn't be sharing a bed with anyone. I'm far too old for this shit.

From 15-20 I slept in all sorts of places and also used to share a single beds sometimes. Wouldn't dream of it now.

I'd either pull put or say you'll book your own hotel room nearby if that's an option.

BillyNoM8s · 27/05/2023 00:24

*pull out

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/05/2023 00:25

No way would I share a bed with a stranger
I wouldn't go

RampantIvy · 27/05/2023 00:27

I don't think it is being a diva to not want to share a room with a complete stranger, let alone share a bed with one @OneHundredOtters. I'm not a teenager or twenty something. I'm too old for that kind of thing.

continentallentil · 27/05/2023 00:28

I wouldn’t do that, options are

back out
find somewhere else
take an air bed

(she is weird)

Catsmere · 27/05/2023 00:29

OneHundredOtters · 27/05/2023 00:18

I don't know o think everyone is being a bit divaish. All the hen dos I've been to recently have had a mix of doubles and singles and people have just got on and shared if needed. I guess people probably pick the people they are closer with to share with but we've worked it out.

It's a nightmare finding accommodation for these things and unless you are in a hostel type place getting singles for everyone is unlikely.

Suck it up or take an airbed and sleep on the floor.

There only being 6 beds for 7 people and sneaking an extra person in is more of an issue though.

“Divaish” to not want to sleep with a stranger? To cough up £200 for crappy arrangements and potentially sleeping on a couch or the floor?

MakesMeFeelSad · 27/05/2023 00:31

Sod that, I only share a bed with my cat these days and that's begrudgingly

TheHateIsNotGood · 27/05/2023 00:33

In the spirit of things, I'd probably not mind sharing a bed with a 'safe stranger' in a 'friendship group', might even push to 'group PJs' if they're something I'd wear at home. BUT what I really want to know is where the 7th person sleeps AND who is the 7th person, in case it was me.

Tilllly · 27/05/2023 00:33

Ugh

I'd not want to share a room, let alone a bed

You're not 12

PeopleAreShit · 27/05/2023 00:33

Just nope

NumberTheory · 27/05/2023 00:37

I get your horror. I wouldn’t want to share a bed either and it’s risky to try and sneak a 7th person in unless she’s done it before at this place and knows the owner doesn’t really mind or has no chance of finding out (they all seem to have video covering the door nowadays so latter seems unlikely).

But I also think it’s a bit of a nightmare situation for the Maid of Honour, especially since none of you really know each other. Trying to get a group together and meet everyone’s expectations is often pretty thankless and like herding cats. There are bound to be things she’s skipped over because she hasn’t realised her norms aren’t shared by the whole group. So I might try and be a bit more flexible and, for instance, suggest that you bring a blow up bed for yourself, or something, rather than just dropping out.

Ilovecrispytofu · 27/05/2023 00:38

It wouldn’t bother me at all, but I am a very sound sleeper.

Jemandthehologramsunite · 27/05/2023 00:40

OneHundredOtters · 27/05/2023 00:18

I don't know o think everyone is being a bit divaish. All the hen dos I've been to recently have had a mix of doubles and singles and people have just got on and shared if needed. I guess people probably pick the people they are closer with to share with but we've worked it out.

It's a nightmare finding accommodation for these things and unless you are in a hostel type place getting singles for everyone is unlikely.

Suck it up or take an airbed and sleep on the floor.

There only being 6 beds for 7 people and sneaking an extra person in is more of an issue though.

Hardly. I'd rather pay more and sleep in a bed or pull out couch to myself, fine if the room is shared. I'm a highly paid professional adult and not going to 'rough' it, thanks! Not 20 anymore. Literally went to a hens last weekend. It slept 8 people and no one had to share a bed. (There were 3 doubles so if they wanted to share they could, I think the key thing is choice)

RunningUpThatMill · 27/05/2023 00:41

I don't even share a king size bed with my DH during the week. We work different hours, and he snores. I certainly wouldn't be sharing a double bed with someone I didn't know well because a) they might snore and I struggle to get to sleep, and b) just no (unless it was Ian Somerhalder).

BaiesRosesAmbre · 27/05/2023 00:44

And for what it’s worth, I don’t think this person is weird or she’s asking anything outrageous of you all - it’s the sort of thing that happens on a hen.

but it should have been communicated to you before as an option before it was booked

StampOnTheGround · 27/05/2023 00:44

Surely for hen do's you'd expect to share a room and sometimes that would include a bed too?

Currently having a 1am scroll while on a hen do sharing a room with 3 others and I wouldn't have expected it any other way!

Jemandthehologramsunite · 27/05/2023 00:47

BaiesRosesAmbre · 27/05/2023 00:44

And for what it’s worth, I don’t think this person is weird or she’s asking anything outrageous of you all - it’s the sort of thing that happens on a hen.

but it should have been communicated to you before as an option before it was booked

Totally agree. Present a couple of options so you can make a choice. That's the problem when organising things you can't please everyone

BodgerLovesMashedPotato · 27/05/2023 00:55

I'd share a room and have before at a hen night under same circumstances, where didnt really know the others going - shared a room with one other friend of bride to be I hadn't met before.
Share a bed though?!
HELL to the no!!!!
WTF 😁