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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with this re sleeping arrangements?

408 replies

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 22:20

I'm going to a friends hen do at the end of June. I have known this friend since I was at secondary school so we have developed different friends over the years so I'm only vaguely familiar with the other ladies going. The maid of honour has done all the booking and is now asking for the money for the accommodation she's booked except she's sent link to the air bnb she has booked and it's only got three bedrooms and three double beds for seven people. I questioned this if she had made a mistake or are we supposed to be sharing beds and she said yes. Aibu to not want to share a bed with a virtual stranger? Would you pay up or back out? I feel like I've been put in a difficult position now as if I don't pay the others price will go up so I can't even find my own accommodation. I honestly feel sick.

OP posts:
LAMPS1 · 27/05/2023 06:22

As a property owner I wouldn’t be impressed on finding out 7 were sleeping in my property which was clearly advertised as sleeping 6 and would say it invalidates insurance and ask …what if there is a fire ?
I wouldn’t be the person deliberately breaking the rules and invalidating the insurance by taking my own air bed and bedding. You have the perfect excuse not to attend for this reason alone but I would also make it clear that I wouldn’t be sharing a bed anyway. The organiser is really taking liberties. I would steer well clear unless I was entirely happy with the initial arrangements.

SkyandSurf · 27/05/2023 06:34

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 23:07

She keeps going on about ordering fucking matching pyjamas and I'm like erm we haven't even all got somewhere to sleep!

FFS, I hate this trend. It's purely for the photos.

Textile waste is a major contributor to climate change, but tee hee hee, look at us all in our matching pink and white polyester pyjamas that we'll only wear once.

telli · 27/05/2023 06:35

I organised a hen weekend a few weeks ago for 7 people and I made sure that anywhere I looked at had twin beds and a sofa bed in the livingroom mainly so this type of situation didn't happen!

londonrach · 27/05/2023 06:37

No!

londonrach · 27/05/2023 06:38

No way sleep in a bed with a stranger. Yanbu here op. Go back and have a word saying you not feel comfortable sharing with a stranger. I wouldnt go..£200 to share a bed

Beautiful3 · 27/05/2023 06:53

I wouldn't go. There's only a few people I'd share a bed with, a strangers not one of them. Especially if they're all drinking. I wouldn't want to share with a drunk stranger. Just say no thanks. If plenty say the same thing, she'll have to book elsewhere.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 27/05/2023 06:56

No way would I share a room with a stranger, let alone a bed - and I certainly wouldn't be paying £200 to do so 😬

Sunflowermoonbeam · 27/05/2023 07:00

Imagine ending up being the person who's paid £200 and doesn't even get a bed! Ridiculous situation. If it were me I'd say I'm just coming to the day stuff and will arrange my own accommodation. Even if that means driving home to sleep in my own bed!

Original poster
shestakingtheurine · 27/05/2023 07:08

I wouldn't have minded booking my own accommodation but now I would have to pay twice which sticks in my throat. I've known this friend since I was 11 and we still live very close to each other and have a close friendship so not going is not really an option. She knows nothing about this. I also don't agree with some of the activities booked such as fucking pottery painting arghh but I'm not someone who likes to rock the boat . Everyone else just seems to gave gone along with her batshit plans

OP posts:
PlasticPotPlant · 27/05/2023 07:08

I'm also clearly in the minority here because although this wouldn't be my preferred sleeping arrangement for a night I'd be meh, whatever. I might stick a sleeping bag in my car so I could avoid duvet battles with a stranger.

FWIW I'm in my 40s so a long way from student life...

Strugglingtodomybest · 27/05/2023 07:08

It wouldn't bother me. I've recently had to share a bed for 5 nights on a trip away.

But if it bothers you, then that's fair enough, I can understand that it's not for everyone.

I think you're being a bit unreasonable to be pissed off though, as far as I remember, sharing is quite common on hen dos, in order to keep costs down.

custardcreme77 · 27/05/2023 07:14

I’m still intrigued where the 7th person is going to sleep.

greennotepad · 27/05/2023 07:16

Wouldn’t bother me- not my ideal sleeping scenario of course but for something like this I’d appreciate and understand I’d be unlikely to get my own room (otherwise the place would cost twice as much presumably).

MOH should have told everyone though. Although equally if it’s such a dealbreaker, it’s weird that you didn’t ask.

TherapistInATabard · 27/05/2023 07:17

ToBMarried24 · 26/05/2023 23:46

Lucky you are not invited then 😂😂😂😂

Show quote history

True 😆

Sissynova · 27/05/2023 07:17

It’s not that weird to share in your 20s at a hen. I don’t know anyone who would have booked a single hotel room at that if when travelling with a group.
Any hen I’ve been to it’s been room sharing and rooms are matched up to who knows each other.

JenWillsiam · 27/05/2023 07:18

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 22:55

I've just questioned it on the group chat as the accommodation says a maximum of six people so she's actually breaking the rules. I have just pointed this out that one of us may not actually get in.

Why did you do that? Just back out. There’s no point causing drama if you’re not going anyway.

rookiemere · 27/05/2023 07:19

Do you have an air mattress or camping mat or can you borrow one ? That's what I'd bring as I'd refuse to share a bed with someone.

rookiemere · 27/05/2023 07:21

Sissynova · 27/05/2023 07:17

It’s not that weird to share in your 20s at a hen. I don’t know anyone who would have booked a single hotel room at that if when travelling with a group.
Any hen I’ve been to it’s been room sharing and rooms are matched up to who knows each other.

Sharing a room with two single beds is totally different from sharing a bed. I'm perfectly happy to share a room.

Bax765 · 27/05/2023 07:37

I wouldn't mind sharing a bed with a close friend but wouldn't want to with a stranger!

Can you look for your own accom nearby and then back out? You can put a good spin on it as then their problem with the 6 person limit is sorted too 🙂

FernGully43 · 27/05/2023 07:43

I had to do this. I only found out when I was there and I wasn't happy but didn't want to ruin friend's hen. It was awful. The stranger wasn't even a nice one, snored really loudly and got up after a night of drinking to go swim at 6am. I was livid. Had I known before, I would've pulled out. Especially as I'd even flown countries to attend

Rupiduti · 27/05/2023 07:44

This wouldn't bother me at all

Parisj · 27/05/2023 07:46

If you have to go I would immediately say I'll bring a single air bed then. So I don't have to share.

doitwithlove · 27/05/2023 07:50

@shestakingtheurine Book yourself an extra day off when you return as you'll need it to catch up on sleep.

I went away with girlfriends recently, I bagged the bunk beds - just me in this small bed, the other 7 girls shared. There were some grumpy heads in the morning due to the people who shared not getting much sleep!

Rolloisthebestpony · 27/05/2023 07:50

This happened to me except I didn’t find out I was sharing until I arrived at the hen do! I was massively pissed off .

Not sure why so many people seem to think it’s acceptable to expect people to bed share without checking with them first!

Last year my friend’s 40th was a similar set up (group of women in a cottage with lots of double beds) and I just said I wasn’t prepared to bed share, and that I was happy to pay more not to share. It was my first child-free night in over 2 years so I sure as hell wasn’t spending it in bed with a stranger !!

Weallgottachangesometime · 27/05/2023 07:50

Personally, although this would be far from ideal, for a good friend I’d just put up and go along with it. Maybe pack a blow up bed/duvet to go off to my own space. £200 sounds a lot to share….is it a very nice place or in a good location?

Regarding the activities maybe no one else is saying anything because they like/don’t mind the sound of the activities being planned. I’ve done pottery painting on 2 hen weekends, I think it’s a fairly common activity.

Organising a hen is actually hugely stressful and sorting accommodation to fit everyone’s budget/wants and activities everyone enjoys is incredibly hard. I’d give her some slack or if you’re not happy to pay/do the activity just say that so she can plan around you..:just don’t make a big drama out of it.