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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with this re sleeping arrangements?

408 replies

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 22:20

I'm going to a friends hen do at the end of June. I have known this friend since I was at secondary school so we have developed different friends over the years so I'm only vaguely familiar with the other ladies going. The maid of honour has done all the booking and is now asking for the money for the accommodation she's booked except she's sent link to the air bnb she has booked and it's only got three bedrooms and three double beds for seven people. I questioned this if she had made a mistake or are we supposed to be sharing beds and she said yes. Aibu to not want to share a bed with a virtual stranger? Would you pay up or back out? I feel like I've been put in a difficult position now as if I don't pay the others price will go up so I can't even find my own accommodation. I honestly feel sick.

OP posts:
TherapistInATabard · 26/05/2023 23:23

Matching pyjamas? Ffs I hate these Instagram weddings and hen do’s

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 26/05/2023 23:25

Me and my gal pals have been friends for 40 odd years. Our trips away, happy to share a room but not a bed. It's not hard to find an airbnb to suit!
I would absolutely back out!

Maray1967 · 26/05/2023 23:27

Are you driving there? If so, I’d take my own air bed and duvet etc and put it up in the living room

GarlicGrace · 26/05/2023 23:28

Sounds like the MoH got all her ideas from a male movie producer with fantasies of young women enjoying a sexy photogenic adult sleepover. You're gonna be passing penis-shaped ice lollies from mouth to mouth, aren't you?

Strong advice to get in first and 'solve' the capacity problem by not going.

PuffinsRocks · 26/05/2023 23:39

Yikes that's grim. You're probably not the only one who isn't happy about this.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/05/2023 23:40

I go away with friends once a year and we always share beds BUT we've known each other 30 years and no one wants to book a6 bedroom place. Same with Uni pals I've known 20+ years so not getting the horror or ever sharing a bed except w with your sexual partner

However in this situation, she should have clarified who's happy sharing, who's not and worked out accommodation and prices accordingly

Batalax · 26/05/2023 23:41

That’s ridiculous

TomatoSandwiches · 26/05/2023 23:41

Sounds like my worst nightmare, I don't even share a bed with my husband let alone some random.
I would graciously bow out now, what was she thinking?

Lilbunnyfufu · 26/05/2023 23:44

I don't even share a bed with my husband so it would be a no from me.

ToBMarried24 · 26/05/2023 23:44

Wouldn’t bother me personally sharing a bed.

althoihh I’d be concerned about it only sleeping 6 when there is 7 of you.

Newestname002 · 26/05/2023 23:45

shestakingtheurine · 26/05/2023 22:28

It also says six people maximum, I think she's made a big error here but it also may give me the perfect opportunity to back out. It's 2 nights as well.

I'd get my cancellation in fast as you may not be the only person who feels upset at these arrangements... 🌹

ToBMarried24 · 26/05/2023 23:46

TherapistInATabard · 26/05/2023 23:23

Matching pyjamas? Ffs I hate these Instagram weddings and hen do’s

Lucky you are not invited then 😂😂😂😂

OneLittleFinger · 26/05/2023 23:46

Someone needs to speak to the bride. Is she expected to share a bed or is she getting the sofa???

JandalsAlways · 26/05/2023 23:49

Nope, I wouldn't share.

Mistressofnone · 26/05/2023 23:50

I'd say 'looks like it only sleeps six. Not to worry I'll sort my own hotel and meet you all in town for the night out bit. I'm a bad co-sleeper anyway'.

Passwordsarestressful · 26/05/2023 23:50

I had this at a good friend's hen do, 15 years ago, when I was 27. I had to share a small double with someone I met that day a d actually did t warm to. I lay rigid all night, it was horrible and expensive and I was out the door lime a shot the next day. I had absolutely no desire to hang around.

ejbaxa · 26/05/2023 23:52

Hmmmm weird to book shared beds

Do you have an air bed or something that you could take? I mean it's rough for the money, but it might save upsetting an old friend?

UnctuousUnicorns · 26/05/2023 23:53

Fuck that; I wouldn't even share a room with anyone other than my husband. Can you book a hotel nearby?

fUNNYfACE36 · 26/05/2023 23:54

If shes booked for 7 people the place will have sleeping places for 7- probably a sofa pullout .

ODFOx · 26/05/2023 23:54

I'd take a decent air mattress and sleeping bag and sleep in a cupboard rather than share a bed with a stranger. Though that would be for the other guests' comfort as well as my privacy: I can sleep anywhere ( once fell asleep upright with my head on my arms in a base speaker at a Motörhead gig) and I snore, loudly, and chat nonsense in my sleep.
Whether or not I'd go at all would be dependent on how much I love the Bride, whether the overall tone of the event is suitable for me and if I can afford the organised 'fun'.
If you are going to drop out do it asap and don't be critical of the efforts of the organisers: even the terrible ones are amateurs doing their best.

BaiesRosesAmbre · 26/05/2023 23:55

I organised a hen party and made it v clear from the start that either we share and pay less or get separate rooms/beds and pay more.

this should have been run past you before it was booked!

holliebo · 26/05/2023 23:56

SleepingStandingUp · 26/05/2023 23:40

I go away with friends once a year and we always share beds BUT we've known each other 30 years and no one wants to book a6 bedroom place. Same with Uni pals I've known 20+ years so not getting the horror or ever sharing a bed except w with your sexual partner

However in this situation, she should have clarified who's happy sharing, who's not and worked out accommodation and prices accordingly

Same!
I don't have a problem sharing a bed with a female friend or family member. Most hens I've been abroad for and involved sharing a bed. No issue when it's been someone I know especially for a night or 3
My issue here would be sharing with a stranger.....more than a bit weird!

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/05/2023 23:57

Just say that as there doesn’t seem space for 7 in a 3 bed place you’re happy to back out and will catch up with dinner

Crumpleton · 26/05/2023 23:59

I've a major bug bear with anyone telling me that I've to pay for anything before being given all the info of the why's and wherefore's thus being given a choice of yay or nay
I definitely wouldn't share a bed with someone I didn't know let alone pay £200 to do so.

SamW98 · 27/05/2023 00:00

I would share a bed with a really good friend if that was all that was available but no way would I share with someone I barely know.