To think I shouldn't have to work a second job to make ends meet

[drusillabee]

I am a teacher working 4 days.

DH has a clinical role in NHS.

Our household income is about 80k. Pretty decent until you factor in rising costs of everything plus childcare.

We have 2 DC under 3 and omg nursery costs are so expensive. I'm on MAT leave for another month and I'm having to go back sooner than we anticipated due to rising costs and basically having run out of money since I won't be getting any SMP.

I just am so sad that I've worked since I was 16, essentially paying into the system for the last 10 years and feeling like I have nothing to show for it.

I've worked my bloody arse off in inner city schools with kids that come from awful backgrounds to help them get out of the cycle of benefits they were born into. The government haven't paid me (or other public sector workers) a penny extra for going above and beyond every single fucking day.

And when we do need a little helping hand, we get jack shit. Nurses got a clap. Teachers got a pay rise but more workload to go along with it.

And then when women go on MAT leave we're given hardly anything to bloody survive that forces to return to work after 6 months slogging for the government that are relying on basically free labour.

My 2 year old asked me to buy her an ice cream today and I'm so grateful that I managed to distract her with the snacks I brought from home because I have £6 left in my bank account till Tuesday.

I go back to work in a week. My youngest daughter won't even be 9 months. She refused a bottle and is exclusively breastfed. She doesn't even take expressed milk from a cup. My heart is breaking at thinking how she's going to go a whole day without me.

I can't even do anything else that I can leave teaching for more flexible hours and better pay. Tbh I love teaching, I just hate that I have to return so soon on a shit salary for the job that I do.

So on top of that, I'm having to look for a weekend job so we can do more than just pay the bills.

[Tumbler2121]

If you take a year's maternity leave you needn't pay nursery fees. Won't that help a lot with your financial situation?

[Babyroobs]

Mine were the same refusing bottles. I had to go back when my ds's were 4 and 5 months old as we lived in a country with zero mat pay at all. Fortunately the hospital where I worked had a nursery so I went down to bf in my tea breaks and the rest of the time once they were weaning we just got by with trying to get fluids into them by making their solids very sloppy. It wasn't ideal but we needed 2 incomes. We spent years on end working around each other ( I did nights and weekends) to cut down on childcare costs. I think generally it's always hard one way or another having 2 close together. You either pay a fortune on childcare or work around each other to avoid paying for childcare, neither are ideal. The government are bringing in 30 free hours for babies from 9 months within the next couple of years. It probably won't help you but hopefully will help others.

[drusillabee]

@Tumbler2121 well my MAT leave is coming to an end anyway and no. Even without childcare costs, the cost of everything else is rising. We can't afford the mortgage, bills, groceries etc etc on one wage.

MAT pay depreciates very quickly.

[drusillabee]

@Babyroobs that's so lucky about their nursery!

Unfortunately both of our shifts are fixed to weekdays. It's not like I can work a Saturday instead of a Monday for example!

Yeah if it was just the 1, we wouldn't be struggling. Baby number 2 was a surprise, and we saved for my MAT leave, but I still never anticipated our financial situation to end up like this.

[Hawkins0001]

What's your shopping bills like, and what type of supermarket do you frequent ?

[SweetSakura]

The "two in nursery" years are grim. I'm a lawyer and left my abusive ex so was left paying mortgage and childcare on my own. I skipped meals often during those years. But my children were always happy with trips to the park and never noticed what they missed. And they are reaping the rewards now as my salary increased and childcare costs are zero

It's crap and it should be better but this stage doesn't last forever

[Ponoka7]

Do you live in an expensive part of the country? You're spending your income on something. What are the people whose children attend your school earning? Where do the people who work in your local shops etc (lower earners) live?

[drusillabee]

@Hawkins0001 anywhere between £60-£100 a week depending on what I'm cooking.

Now that our second is on solids our bill has rocketed as we're having to factor in her food, particularly food that she will eat whilst she's away from me (I.e. egg custard from a jar).

[DiIIy]

Surely it's just the fact that you're on maternity leave which means you're struggling. Everyone I know has either struggled on maternity pay or saved like hell in preparation so that they could afford the time off. I personally struggled, but that's because I didn't save first.

[drusillabee]

Thanks @SweetSakura

Yeah I just need to get through the next year until my eldest gets her 30 funded hours.

[Hawkins0001]

Is their any areas you can trim your budget eg aldi or asda basic range where possible ?

[drusillabee]

@DiIIy nope, when I return to work out childcare costs will be c£1200. My income working 4 days is c£1900.

That as well as DH income is just about enough. We have to be very frugal to be able to do anything else (days out, treats and so on).

[JeandeServiette]

It will get better. Two in full time childcare is always the rough bit. Now CoL on top is a lot to contend with. You'll actually emerge from it better in the long run than the women who have been forced out of the job market by nursery costs.

[DiIIy]

As shit as it is, it's standard when having children.

[drusillabee]

@Ponoka7 everyone in our school is on the main pay scale for teaching. It's a pretty standard salary. What you earn depends how long you've been teaching.

I live in the midlands. God knows where the low earners live.

[joan12]

Most people I know have second jobs. NHS -- those who can have some private work. Teachers have tutoring. Etc. It's hard

[Ponoka7]

@drusillabee

@Ponoka7 everyone in our school is on the main pay scale for teaching. It's a pretty standard salary. What you earn depends how long you've been teaching.

I live in the midlands. God knows where the low earners live.

I meant the parents of the children who attend the school you work in. Do you live and work in an affluent area? Your income is a dream come through for a lot of people. It's going on something.

[MaroonMidnight]

Its awful that two educated, hardworking people doing meaningful jobs are struggling.
Nobody should be struggling on an income of £80k, a few years ago it would have plenty of income but now it barely stretches . Unless you’re extremely well off now in the UK , it feels like for many people we are all just surviving and not living. I feel your pain op and as others said unless the childcare costs aren’t forever.

[Smallyellowbird]

It's a shit time - mortgage and childcare costs and a cost of living crisis.

if your eldest gets 30 hours free childcare next year could you stay home till then - you'll be down £700 a month but could do some work, eg tutoring, around your husbands work hours to make that up, so you won't need childcare.

Or could you take a mortgage break to help get you over this difficult year?

Can family help? When things were very tight with me, with mortgage and childcare costs, my Dad used to give me cash for Xmas and birthdays, he knew there wouldn't have been many treats without it.

You will get through this, it's a blip, not the rest of your life.

[Whatifitallgoesright]

I Just want to say that I'm sorry you're having such a shit time. It's not right. Sorry you're forced to pull away from your kid too early. Motherhood's not recognised for its true value and I really don't know that we'll ever get there.

[stayathomer]

I don’t get how you’re struggling to the extent of getting another job on that income though? I mean to the extent of can’t afford an ice cream. Is it all maternity leave related? Agree that the childcare years are a horror movie but definitely start looking at your bills and see if there’s money going out that can be cut down on

[Ponderingwindow]

Aren’t you likely to make more working as a teacher 5 days instead of 4 instead of picking up a random weekend job?:

[Supernova23]

If you are struggling on 80k a year then you are living well above your means.

[Makkapakkasstones]

It's the childcare that's killing you. We had a two year age gap and were financially on the bones of our arse until Covid and I got a job WFH which meant I didn't need wrap around childcare after school.

I know you don't want to give up teaching, but I would consider it. When pregnant with DC2, my pay was around £1600. Childcare for 2 DC would've been £1k. After DC2 was born, I worked evenings in a call centre around DH hours. No childcare to pay for and my take home pay was £1k. So we were £400 a month better off with me working part time evenings. Plus I was home with my kids in the day time.

[Makkapakkasstones]

@Supernova23

If you are struggling on 80k a year then you are living well above your means.

They're not on £80k though just now because OP is on mat leave.

I'd imagine they've been living within their means but as with most people recently outgoings have suddenly sky rocketed. Some people's mortgage payments have literally doubled. Do you not read the news?