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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

what a surprise..it has started!

598 replies

momager1 · 25/05/2023 20:52

long story, short.
husband and I took early retirement and sold our home in Canada. 7 weeks ago we moved to a condo that we had purchased previously (for our retirement) In Dominican Republic. 3 min walk to gorgeous bavaro beach, lots of quirky little eateries, Small condo complex but upscale with two large pools and 2 bbq gazebos with included gas bbqs and dining tables for the owners to use. SURPRISE. 3 couples that we have not had alot of socializing with have all sent messages this week. 1 looking to stay a week in august, 1 a week in October, and the other couple want to bring their two kids over CHRISTMAS!! I need to figure out a good response to them all. I did want to message back FUCK OFF but my husband thought it was a bit harsh haha. Couple one have always been good hosts as have we on the rare occasion that we have been in each others house ( and good dinner guests, including asking what they can bring and when i say nothing, they showed up with flowers and two bottles of wine as they didn't know what i was cooking, so a red and a white) Couple Two. had them over for a bbq once. nice enough people that lived in our culdesac, but showed up empty handed and then asked for some of the leftovers as she didn't have time to make anything for their packed lunches the next day (it was a lunch bbq over at 5 pm) Couple three. JUST NO. In the message they sent they said that they know it is just two bedrooms two baths, but the kids could sleep in the livingroom and share THEIR bathroom. And they were so looking forward to my cooking for the week as they are not in a position to eat out much !! ( I am a NOW RETIRED restaurant owning chef. NO NOPE NOPITY NOPE.
So. How do I word my messages back to them that does not include FUCK OFF ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
TravelDazzle · 26/05/2023 07:06

Loving this thread, even if just for the photos of the cute dogs 😍

LlynTegid · 26/05/2023 07:21

If Mr Johnson is visiting, then you should not be throwing things at him. If the concept of a citizen's arrest exists, then you should be arresting him on charges of treason and/or corporate manslaughter. Or arranging for the local police to do this.

As for your responses to the requests to visit, I think you were more polite than most would have been in your place.

suburbophobe · 26/05/2023 07:35

Now you find out who your real friends are.....

Just redirect them to Airbnb.

Cheeky fuckers.

Enjoy DR, I love it. Been 3x and have a great friend from there.

Missingmyusername · 26/05/2023 07:37

Can I have free accommodation and meals? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I can’t believe the audacity.

This is why I would never buy a caravan or holiday home.

It’s even worse that you’ve not been there for very long. I see people don’t mind dogs when it suits them either, usually hear non stop moaning it’s funny nobody cares when it’s something free being provided!

My dog would be ecstatic waking up to that beach every day!! Enjoy OP, it sounds absolutely idyllic.

pollykitty · 26/05/2023 07:37

Why even respond. If you don’t like these people I wouldn’t bother. If it came up again at a later time: ‘Did you message me? Must have missed it. Sorry’’

SleepingStandingUp · 26/05/2023 07:44

I'd just message back and say sorry, we're not looking to rent the place out and you'll happily recommend a good hotel

hattie43 · 26/05/2023 07:50

HouseOfRunners · 25/05/2023 20:56

Block.
Lovely sigh of relief.
Glass of wine 🍷

This made me laugh and actually it stops the faff.

StewPots · 26/05/2023 08:00

BellaJuno · 25/05/2023 21:07

I’d reply “You wouldn’t believe the number of people asking to stay with us! We’re not hosting anyone for the forseeable as we settle in to our new life but if you end up in the area, do let us know and we’ll meet up for dinner”

This ⬆️

Grumpusaurus · 26/05/2023 08:08

Gah, I feel for you. We had a some emails already about how wonderful it would be to see us this summer. I replied all excitedly how I look foward to catch up over a cup of coffee and to let us know where they booked and we could meet near there. Not heard back since. 😁

CaloundraBlues · 26/05/2023 08:14

I've not even moved yet and a friend of mine asked if she (and her family) could use my place as a base whilst she explores the area....for 4 weeks! Told her it's not happening, she needs to make other arrangements and if she's in our area we'll meet for a meal/drink. Haven't heard from her since

Family121 · 26/05/2023 08:19

No is a full sentence 😁

Meeting · 26/05/2023 08:22

Your retirement sounds (and looks) like a dream OP!

IsAinmDummm · 26/05/2023 08:25

Blue and Red Tayto all the way!! 💙❤ 😁

Your lasagne sounds amazing!!! Can't wait for the recipe 😋

WimpoleHat · 26/05/2023 08:54

We had a some emails already about how wonderful it would be to see us this summer. I replied all excitedly how I look foward to catch up over a cup of coffee and to let us know where they booked and we could meet near there. Not heard back since. 😁

That’s an excellent response - because so many people heavily hint - “we’d love to see you/we’d love to get the kids together/we’d love to see X place”. They aren’t as brazen as couple 3 and actually come out with “we are after free board and lodgings and thought we’d mooch off you for a week”. So the “let us know when you’ve booked and we’d love to meet up” is brilliant as it just shuts it all down. (Unless, like poor OP, you get people of the #3 variety, who clearly need to be told to shove it in no uncertain terms!)

DunkingMyDonuts · 26/05/2023 08:56

Can't stop thinking about Mars Bar Cheesecake...😋

Newestname002 · 26/05/2023 08:59

CaloundraBlues · 26/05/2023 08:14

I've not even moved yet and a friend of mine asked if she (and her family) could use my place as a base whilst she explores the area....for 4 weeks! Told her it's not happening, she needs to make other arrangements and if she's in our area we'll meet for a meal/drink. Haven't heard from her since

Well she wasn't backwards in coming forwards was she? Some people are unbelievably cheeky. Well done for heading her off at the pass! 🌹

Weenurse · 26/05/2023 08:59

I am here for the lasagna and more pictures of the dogs.

NeedToChangeName · 26/05/2023 09:00

Dedodee · 25/05/2023 21:41

@Batalax it could be worse OP. We live in SW France and nobody wants to visit us other than my dd. We have a pool too.
Imagine being so unpopular that even cf’s don’t try to take advantage!
All of our friends here have people queuing to visit. I must be very scary!

@Dedodee I feel your pain. I live in a tourist hot pot and hardly ever have any visitors !

IKnowItsNotMine · 26/05/2023 09:06

‘Sorry who is this ?’

Then pretend you’re someone else.

willWillSmithsmith · 26/05/2023 09:13

It depends how close you are. My friend and her family moved abroad and me saying I’d love to come over and see you wasn’t me being a CF, it was me wanting to stay connected (she did too). I have since gone out there but I rented my own nearby accommodation (because I wasn’t a CF and they didn’t have spare room anyway and more importantly I like my own space).

DoTrollsShitInTheThreads · 26/05/2023 09:14

JeanRondeausMadHair · 25/05/2023 21:29

What a sack of fucking cheeky bastards.

Haha. There's your reply, op.

CaloundraBlues · 26/05/2023 09:15

Newestname002 · 26/05/2023 08:59

Well she wasn't backwards in coming forwards was she? Some people are unbelievably cheeky. Well done for heading her off at the pass! 🌹

I used to be a people pleaser but now I've hit peri menopause I take no shit lol

MooMooSharoo · 26/05/2023 09:16

momager1 · 25/05/2023 22:42

on the beach for their first time. I am far enough away that not worried about being identified lol. One dog was all over it. The other was WTF is this weird shit under my feet? then she took a dump. No worries we are responsible pet owners and picked it up. that blue thing on her collar is full of poop bags hahahaha

I can't see why anyone would want to visit... I mean it looks like hell on earth doesn't it?!

Enjoy your long retirement OP and ignore the CF's!

I have a friend with a lovely beachfront house (AirBnB). She's always said we're welcome to use it for the cost of cleaning only if it's not already booked, but even that feels cheeky to me!

It's fine if you offer to host people, but for people to just invite themselves?! Massive CFs!

BruceAndNosh · 26/05/2023 09:18

Peachy2005 · 26/05/2023 01:12

Presumably Northern Irish Tayto not Southern Irish Tayto…😂

The status of Tayto has been the real sticking point in the Northern Ireland Protocol

BruceAndNosh · 26/05/2023 09:19

We plan to do similar in a few years but bedroom 2 will be an office /snug and all sofas will be designed for sitting not sleeping!

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