what a surprise..it has started!

[momager1]

long story, short.
husband and I took early retirement and sold our home in Canada. 7 weeks ago we moved to a condo that we had purchased previously (for our retirement) In Dominican Republic. 3 min walk to gorgeous bavaro beach, lots of quirky little eateries, Small condo complex but upscale with two large pools and 2 bbq gazebos with included gas bbqs and dining tables for the owners to use. SURPRISE. 3 couples that we have not had alot of socializing with have all sent messages this week. 1 looking to stay a week in august, 1 a week in October, and the other couple want to bring their two kids over CHRISTMAS!! I need to figure out a good response to them all. I did want to message back FUCK OFF but my husband thought it was a bit harsh haha. Couple one have always been good hosts as have we on the rare occasion that we have been in each others house ( and good dinner guests, including asking what they can bring and when i say nothing, they showed up with flowers and two bottles of wine as they didn't know what i was cooking, so a red and a white) Couple Two. had them over for a bbq once. nice enough people that lived in our culdesac, but showed up empty handed and then asked for some of the leftovers as she didn't have time to make anything for their packed lunches the next day (it was a lunch bbq over at 5 pm) Couple three. JUST NO. In the message they sent they said that they know it is just two bedrooms two baths, but the kids could sleep in the livingroom and share THEIR bathroom. And they were so looking forward to my cooking for the week as they are not in a position to eat out much !! ( I am a NOW RETIRED restaurant owning chef. NO NOPE NOPITY NOPE.
So. How do I word my messages back to them that does not include FUCK OFF ?

Love these replies!

To be honest, I’d burn my boats and nip it in the bud. Say you realise it’s an attractive holiday destination but it’s also your home and you have no plans for house guests. Tell them if they're planning a holiday near you, you’d love to meet up for lunch, or a drink, but your retirement from the hospitality industry is just that, and your hosting days are over. They must know they're CFs so it won’t be a shock to them.

Say "we was hoping to stay at yours this Christmas?"

See what the response is 😜

I send people links with hotels"oh wow I always wanted to visit X and DW and I have AL in May. Is the weather nice? We could ome visit"
"Oh sure. It's lovely place and May wrather is great. Here are some nice hotels I know. Will be more than happy to be a tour guide for a day or two 😁"

Sounds like you have life sorted. Following for the entertainment value and the lasagne recipe!

Lol - love the replies. My parents retired to the DR in 2006 and have lived there ever since near Sosua. The beaches are amazing.
Enjoy

I live in a very desirable area to holiday in a d used to get this all the time

A simple. Sorry that doesn't work for us. I hope you find something suitable for your holiday

I have suggested nearly hotels if they wanted to catch up with us (they never do. They just want a cheap holiday)

I'd be happy to have good friends staying but surely it's pretty easy to say no to or ignore/block people you barely know, and you never need hear from them again.

I am almost impressed at the brass neck of some people.

I have nothing to add really but agree with all the others that you do just need to say no. We moved to a popular UK holiday destination for work 20 odd years ago and had a similar experience. To be honest, initially I didn't even want to host family or real friends - a new home to sort out, a new and demanding job, children to settle in etc were enough and I didn't want to be running a free B&B at weekends too. People I actually liked, I explained that we needed time to find our feet and CFers I just said no fairly bluntly. I was unlikely to be seeing them again and frankly didnt really care if they were offended. It settled down fairly quickly thankfully.

I've only been to Ireland twice and had Tayto both times. Quite honestly, I would do pretty much anything for a box of Tayto.

This would be my reply....

No.

I'd say this:

Ah, sorry CFs, the only house guests we're planning on having are those we invite, not those who invite themselves!

Or if you're not as brazen as me, PPs suggestions of "sorry, we have a no houseguest rule in our retirement home"

Yup, moved from UK to Spain years ago - nip it in the bud now.
We host close family only, plus 1 friend each who we were very close with in the UK.
Our most gobsmacking CF was an ex colleague of DH who emailed him to say he was bringing his wife over and would stay with us for 4 days, would need picking up from the airport at silly time and needed running around. Oh & his wife didnt like dogs so ours would have to go for the duration of their stay. He had put his phone number on & DH called him straight away and asked if he had a bang on the hear or had been sniffing glue 😂

I'd say, I'm sorry my home is too small for hosting. If you do stay in a nearby hotel let us know as we'd love to meet up for drinks/meal. That's nice as it meets half way, and will probably never happen.

Sounds amazing and I hope they get the message

I'm just here for cute dog pictures and mars bar cheesecake recipes...also I live in Ireland so Taytos are a 1 minute walk away...😉

Me too! I grew up having standard poodles - amazing dogs!

We bought a camper-style van for little breaks for me, DH, DS and dogs, all needs doing up and rejigging etc. Telling a relation about it as general convo and her little eyes lit up and she said 'can we borrow it?!'. After a second of stunned silence, I said we haven't even been out in it as a family to test run it yet, even for an hour out, so we'll be doing all that first. And then said 'maybe a couple of years down the line you could hire it' lol

two messages . couple number one , were completely understanding, and said that they don't want to be an imposition. They had already been planning a trip to DR for their big anniversary this year and then asked me if I could recommend any good adult only hotel. They also said we could meet on the beach for a margarita. So if they do come they will get a dinner invite! Second message is from #3. OH BOY. Not happy with me. apparently they already told the kids and they cannot afford a hotel, just the flights (which supposedly were the kids WHOLE christmas gift as they cannot afford gifts and flights) She asked me to reconsider as I was massively letting down the children (9 yrs and 11yrs old) Said she already has spent hours researching the area and there are so many beaches the kids want to snorkle at , and there is a new theme park called Katmandu that they promised the kids they could go to as their one big treat here. Katmandu is a 5 minute drive or 30 min walk from my house but she wouldn't know that lol. So oh wise ones. What shall I reply before I block her ass?

@viques

of course we are happy to host you. How strange that all the time we were neighbours we didn’t realise you were naturists too! Our new neighbours are always thrilled to meet new members especially at our wonderful community meals and socials which take place every day ( no more cooking for me , yay!) though I have to warn you there are very strict rules about no clothing at all on the complex at any time, so make sure you pack plenty of sun cream. The kids will love it, we have so many wonderful activities on tap there is no need to leave the grounds. We are both converts to Lindy hop dancing and classic mime.

I love this so much - but it could backfire horribly if couple No.3 are harbouring any thoughts whatsoever about exploring naturism! 😂😂

You seem to have got their numbers! My suggestion is to save your energy for inviting over your really good friends. We lived in a holiday destination for a few years and by the end of it we were really sick of friends of friends and people we hardly knew wanting to see us/spend time with us. Direct your energy into making some really good local friends and have an amazing time!

I simply cannot fathom the cheeky fuckery of some people. My mouth is hanging open so I thought I might give it a go - I know you don't know me OP but can you come over and cook for me for a week - paying for your own flights of course and the food - because I can't cook and I'm hungry. I can't offer anything in return.

“We’ve said no, we mean no. We won’t be changing our minds”

No 3 sounds like really hard work and terribly lacking in boundaries/parenting. I'd suggest they use the money have to invest in some good parenting classes so that they stop messing up their children!