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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

what a surprise..it has started!

598 replies

momager1 · 25/05/2023 20:52

long story, short.
husband and I took early retirement and sold our home in Canada. 7 weeks ago we moved to a condo that we had purchased previously (for our retirement) In Dominican Republic. 3 min walk to gorgeous bavaro beach, lots of quirky little eateries, Small condo complex but upscale with two large pools and 2 bbq gazebos with included gas bbqs and dining tables for the owners to use. SURPRISE. 3 couples that we have not had alot of socializing with have all sent messages this week. 1 looking to stay a week in august, 1 a week in October, and the other couple want to bring their two kids over CHRISTMAS!! I need to figure out a good response to them all. I did want to message back FUCK OFF but my husband thought it was a bit harsh haha. Couple one have always been good hosts as have we on the rare occasion that we have been in each others house ( and good dinner guests, including asking what they can bring and when i say nothing, they showed up with flowers and two bottles of wine as they didn't know what i was cooking, so a red and a white) Couple Two. had them over for a bbq once. nice enough people that lived in our culdesac, but showed up empty handed and then asked for some of the leftovers as she didn't have time to make anything for their packed lunches the next day (it was a lunch bbq over at 5 pm) Couple three. JUST NO. In the message they sent they said that they know it is just two bedrooms two baths, but the kids could sleep in the livingroom and share THEIR bathroom. And they were so looking forward to my cooking for the week as they are not in a position to eat out much !! ( I am a NOW RETIRED restaurant owning chef. NO NOPE NOPITY NOPE.
So. How do I word my messages back to them that does not include FUCK OFF ?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
romdowa · 25/05/2023 21:13

Just say no? You're no longer in Canada, so why do you care what these cfs think?

StayingZenInTheVipersDen · 25/05/2023 21:14
Shock

Shameless CFs! I would never invite myself anywhere like that. However, as it happens op, I was wondering what your plans are for new year...I could come and I'll bring my whole extended family yeah Wink?

VestaTilley · 25/05/2023 21:15

The friends who were good hosts maybe, but not the others. Be very clear with the last couple: they sound the cheeky sort who’d just show up.

Why do they all think they can stay? Did you say to them they could before you left?

I can’t imagine inviting myself to someone’s home rather than waiting to be invited!

Royalbloo · 25/05/2023 21:15

Ignore and crack on - sounds bloody lovely!

Pigstrotter · 25/05/2023 21:16

It’s best you stick to your original plan of telling them to FUCK OFF. Otherwise If they have your address I wouldn’t put it past them to just turn up on the door step.

PoePoePoePoePoe · 25/05/2023 21:16

Wow! Just wow!

Im amazed your dh vetoed the fuck off reply - it’s all they deserve!

BrutusMcDogface · 25/05/2023 21:16

I can’t believe people like couple 3 actually exist. Absolutely shocking level of cfery. No no no.

watcherintherye · 25/05/2023 21:17

Well, op., I’d ignore the lot of them.

At a slight tangent - I know you don’t know me at all but I’ve always fancied visiting the Dominican Republic, and I’m a very appreciative guest, not like those other CFs. Grin

Saschka · 25/05/2023 21:18

Are you planning to move back to the same area of Canada again? If not, just block. You’ll never see them again, who cares if they think you are rude.

AlisonDonut · 25/05/2023 21:18

Hi.

Oh no, this isn't a holiday home we live here full time now.

Cheers

OP and OP's other half

AdoraBell · 25/05/2023 21:19

Yep, either block or advise hotels and then enjoy your home.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/05/2023 21:20

Block them? It's not as if they can be just passing through the area, after all.

OriginalUsername2 · 25/05/2023 21:21

I would say “LOL it’s our home, not a guest house!”

openstop · 25/05/2023 21:23

DisforDarkChocolate · 25/05/2023 21:03

For the ones you like 'we'd love to meet up for dinner one night if you're in our area'.

For the one you don't like, 'that doesn't work for us' (then block).

This

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 25/05/2023 21:23

Where's that thread about the CF who just turned up with a suitcase even though OP hadn't agreed to her visiting and didn't know her well? OP and her husband were on deadline for a major work commission and just ignored all the calls and texts.

viques · 25/05/2023 21:24

Dear couple number 3,

of course we are happy to host you. How strange that all the time we were neighbours we didn’t realise you were naturists too! Our new neighbours are always thrilled to meet new members especially at our wonderful community meals and socials which take place every day ( no more cooking for me , yay!) though I have to warn you there are very strict rules about no clothing at all on the complex at any time, so make sure you pack plenty of sun cream. The kids will love it, we have so many wonderful activities on tap there is no need to leave the grounds. We are both converts to Lindy hop dancing and classic mime.

Hagosaurus · 25/05/2023 21:24

We’d be very good guests, and I have a slot in the diary in September, when I see you have space ;-)

FlowerTink · 25/05/2023 21:24

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 25/05/2023 21:23

Where's that thread about the CF who just turned up with a suitcase even though OP hadn't agreed to her visiting and didn't know her well? OP and her husband were on deadline for a major work commission and just ignored all the calls and texts.

I was about to say the same! OP of that thread handled it perfectly!

TiaraBoo · 25/05/2023 21:25

Either:

Who dis? Or
No can do

TempyBrennan · 25/05/2023 21:25

My favourite mumsnet answer I’ve used multiple times with much success…

’that won’t work for us, hope you and family/husband/whatever are well’ and discuss no further.

Lochjeda · 25/05/2023 21:26

1 and 2 - No, we have had multiple messages already from people wanting to come and have told everyone the same - we aren't going to be hosting lots of people, we retired here to take it easy and I've never been fond of house guests. Then block.

Chocolatesandroses · 25/05/2023 21:26

Some people honestly have some balls to go and just message someone that you want to go there for a holiday . I would want to tell them to fuck off as well . I would just say sorry we aren’t having guests now or in the future and leave it as that .. or no that doesn’t work for us and will not be entertaining in the future . Or charge them it will cost x amount for that week to stay here I bet they won’t want to stay then, cheeky fuckers

Smineusername · 25/05/2023 21:26

Reply saying you'd love to see them and it will be £3000 for the week (or whatever twice the price of a good hotel is)

Wexone · 25/05/2023 21:26

Firstly congrats on retirement and what sounds like a fabulous place to retire. Well deserved
would agree with Fuck right off you cheeky see you next Tuesdays
however if you wnat to be more diplomatic I would possible agree to no 1 staying a few days -especially if yoi get on and your hospitality is appreciated
2 would politely write back and say no sorry doesn't work for us. short and sweet
3 I would respond laughing emoji then block block block

Fuckitydoodah · 25/05/2023 21:27

I wouldn't even bother to reply to couple number 3.