what a surprise..it has started!

[momager1]

long story, short.
husband and I took early retirement and sold our home in Canada. 7 weeks ago we moved to a condo that we had purchased previously (for our retirement) In Dominican Republic. 3 min walk to gorgeous bavaro beach, lots of quirky little eateries, Small condo complex but upscale with two large pools and 2 bbq gazebos with included gas bbqs and dining tables for the owners to use. SURPRISE. 3 couples that we have not had alot of socializing with have all sent messages this week. 1 looking to stay a week in august, 1 a week in October, and the other couple want to bring their two kids over CHRISTMAS!! I need to figure out a good response to them all. I did want to message back FUCK OFF but my husband thought it was a bit harsh haha. Couple one have always been good hosts as have we on the rare occasion that we have been in each others house ( and good dinner guests, including asking what they can bring and when i say nothing, they showed up with flowers and two bottles of wine as they didn't know what i was cooking, so a red and a white) Couple Two. had them over for a bbq once. nice enough people that lived in our culdesac, but showed up empty handed and then asked for some of the leftovers as she didn't have time to make anything for their packed lunches the next day (it was a lunch bbq over at 5 pm) Couple three. JUST NO. In the message they sent they said that they know it is just two bedrooms two baths, but the kids could sleep in the livingroom and share THEIR bathroom. And they were so looking forward to my cooking for the week as they are not in a position to eat out much !! ( I am a NOW RETIRED restaurant owning chef. NO NOPE NOPITY NOPE.
So. How do I word my messages back to them that does not include FUCK OFF ?

You can pick and choose guests whose company you'll enjoy.. and bin the rest.

Yes to couple 1, No to 2) and No fucking way you CFs to 3)

hahaha.. Just got another one, but this one I am happy with. One of my husband's buddies. He is also retiring and my husband and him text daily and make fun of each other (husband finds a shack by edge of road and texts...LOOK I found you a place!) He wants it to be a surprise. Difference is he wants to come for a week and rent a car so he can go out looking at properties and take my husband with him. He has demanded a lasanga dinner and a mars bar cheesecake. Other than that He said that dinners every night are on him either take out , or restaurant. This one I will say yes to . And this one was discussed a little bit before we moved but we didn't think he would actually do it hahaha.

I would just politely but firmly shut them down, very tempting to let them have it with both barrels but why burn the bridge? You might need it one day!

Please let us know what they say after your response!

‘Sorry, that doesn’t work for us’ would be my alternative response to fuck off to no 2 & 3

Just shut them down with a short, succinct, no, that doesn't work for us.

Just tell them with retirement comes swinging....
Should keep them away.
Hopefully!

Sod's law says they'll be really into the idea 😬😂

ok. so sent @Selfesteem23 message. I left out time for. I also added to 1 and 2 that I would be so happy to help them find a good airbnb or a reasonably priced All Inclusive in the area and then have them over for a great bbq night. Number 3 I was more blunt. I just basically said. No this is my retirement. I am sorry but I no longer cook for anyone other than ourselves as a couple or if our children and their kids come here. I can send you any of the recipes that you love if you want. So now we wait. The last one # 4 . I have already told him to just book any flight he wants.

@momager1

i need to hear about the mars bar cheesecake…

Mars bar cheesecake !
I'll come over and bring the lasagne

@momomager1 no advice but you sound hilarious, good luck!

I love this thread

OP I have been reading for amusement but just want to weigh in and say that you sound awesome, with your fab retirement plans, massive dogs, and willingness to tell CFs to do one. AND you make mars bar cheesecake! How old are you? I am 42 and wondering if I still have time to become more like you by the time I retire!

I will be making the mars bar cheesecake as soon as he gets here (prob the next 2 weeks.) will post pictures and recipe. As for the lasgana.. I can make many high end dishes but my husband and his friend always ask for lasgnana . It is a bit different than a normal one. there is 5 different cheeses and mince ground beef and also mince sausage meat. I will post that pic and recipe too lol

Yes please OP respond with that!

🙋‍♀️

You've sold me on 5 different cheeses. I'm sure i could source some Taytos...

I thought this too 😁

@Howtosolveit I am 55 and my husband is 54. You have lots of time. We are now living off interest from our investment income and the money we sold our house for. Our plan is not to even start touching the principle until we are over 65. Right now we are comfortable on this carribean Island. Had we waited 8 or more years we would be rich here. I would rather be comfortable and have fun while we still can

@murasaki then get down here! (unless you are actually the mexican house thief ?)

Ask your husband..if I tell them the truth what effect does it have on us. Then message them two words...the last one is you

OP - I bow down to this. You are the zen master I aspire to. And that lasagna sounds epic.

@Elvis1956 unfortunately (or because he is a good dad) he is thinking of our daughter who deals with these people several times a week in the restaurant. I would just love to give a giant FUCK YOU to them, but then my husband reminds me of our daughter dealing with them on a regular basis

Personally unless you wish to host someone I would reply along the lines of “ as we just moved in and it’s our first year of retirement we have decided we won’t be hosting anyone this year” ( or whatever time you see fit ) .
happy retirement!