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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

what a surprise..it has started!

598 replies

momager1 · 25/05/2023 20:52

long story, short.
husband and I took early retirement and sold our home in Canada. 7 weeks ago we moved to a condo that we had purchased previously (for our retirement) In Dominican Republic. 3 min walk to gorgeous bavaro beach, lots of quirky little eateries, Small condo complex but upscale with two large pools and 2 bbq gazebos with included gas bbqs and dining tables for the owners to use. SURPRISE. 3 couples that we have not had alot of socializing with have all sent messages this week. 1 looking to stay a week in august, 1 a week in October, and the other couple want to bring their two kids over CHRISTMAS!! I need to figure out a good response to them all. I did want to message back FUCK OFF but my husband thought it was a bit harsh haha. Couple one have always been good hosts as have we on the rare occasion that we have been in each others house ( and good dinner guests, including asking what they can bring and when i say nothing, they showed up with flowers and two bottles of wine as they didn't know what i was cooking, so a red and a white) Couple Two. had them over for a bbq once. nice enough people that lived in our culdesac, but showed up empty handed and then asked for some of the leftovers as she didn't have time to make anything for their packed lunches the next day (it was a lunch bbq over at 5 pm) Couple three. JUST NO. In the message they sent they said that they know it is just two bedrooms two baths, but the kids could sleep in the livingroom and share THEIR bathroom. And they were so looking forward to my cooking for the week as they are not in a position to eat out much !! ( I am a NOW RETIRED restaurant owning chef. NO NOPE NOPITY NOPE.
So. How do I word my messages back to them that does not include FUCK OFF ?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

GABakingShow · 27/05/2023 15:22

Ellyess · 27/05/2023 14:53

Hmm sounds like sour grapes to me.

GABakingShow and CheezePleeze. you are letting yourselves down. Of course probably the majority of us think we would love to be able to retire in our 50s with our Partner and live in such an idyllic place!
Yes, this OP's style includes capitals and so on. It's the way she expresses this exasperating problem.
My life has not been a bed of roses. I was widowed by suicide at 42 and left with 3 children and problems and have become disabled and on a very low budget since, living in constant pain. I ought to feel jealous of this OP. But what good would that do? She and her Partner worked very hard to achieve their early retirement goal. Much as the DR is wonderful, they aren't living in the lap of luxury either!

Getting used by selfish people she hardly knows, expecting for a free holiday is a real pest when you move away, as I found just by moving out of the south of England. People quickly saw me as a free holiday/convenience for their journey and did not take into account why I had moved or what my life was like. I wrote about it above.
The OP has a genuine reason to post here and her replies have been entertaining to boot!
So just take your green-eyed monster home and stop feeding it.

Show quote history

Really not sour grapes, I just found the tone of the thread a bit distasteful. But have found a lot of mumsnet quite distasteful today so may just be in a grump. Possibly because I'm on here killing time in a quite negative waiting situation when mumsnet may not be the best place to hang out.

There does seem to be a lot of revelling in self righteous judgement going on. But then I just did the same self righteous judgy thing right back at OP. The comment about dementors did strike home and I thought I'd been unnecessarily negative when yes, a lot of people were obviously enjoying the thread. I'll try and keep my judgy pants to myself next time.

bringitonnow · 27/05/2023 15:55

Start as you mean to go on or it will happen every year and word will get out that you are a free vacation host. Just say sorry but are not able to accommodate guests, but if you book a hotel in town we can meet up for a meal or drink some time.

Thesunnymood · 27/05/2023 16:10

I don't get why would the thread be distasteful tbh

Arthur2shedsJackson · 27/05/2023 17:54

Because of a terrifying sense of FOMO after reading this thread yesterday, I ordered a mixed bag of Tayto crisps from good old Amazon.
They have just arrived. I have tried two of them. I might just have to test the rest of them to confirm they really are as good as everyone says......

mmgirish · 27/05/2023 18:04

I'm from Ireland too but live overseas. My kids love a good bag of C and O taytos same as me. I swear by germolene and sudocrem. Never go on a trip without it.

Glad you are sorting out your CFs. We used to live in a very popular Thai island we has all sorts messaging us.

SageRosemary · 27/05/2023 18:31

Bababette · 27/05/2023 09:34

But are they northern Tayto or southern Tayto? 😝

Show quote history

@Bababette This is what you need, accept no substitute!

Thebigblueballoon · 27/05/2023 18:44

Are you posting the lasagne and cheesecake recipe or not?

Ellyess · 27/05/2023 18:57

Newestname002 ·
That's so kind of you to give me support. I didn't want to write too much but the reasons I felt trapped had to do with the repercussions on my mum who lived near these people and saw some of them fairly often.
I was very cool when at least a couple of them came here and they haven't pestered me since.
Thank you so much for your kindness and help.

Grrrpredictivetex · 27/05/2023 19:13

I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever get the recipe 😭

VariantHela · 27/05/2023 19:19

A simple "nope" should suffice

IsAinmDummm · 27/05/2023 19:48

Thebigblueballoon · 27/05/2023 18:44

Are you posting the lasagne and cheesecake recipe or not?

That's a bit rude! Not even a please - so actually, very rude!
The OP has a (very nice by the look of it) life to live. Her sole purpose is not to update MN.

Thebigblueballoon · 27/05/2023 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MILLYmo0se · 27/05/2023 22:56

Arthur2shedsJackson · 27/05/2023 17:54

Which flavours did you try? Cheese and onion is clearly superior, followed by smokey bacon and salt n vinegar will do in a pinch.... Tbh i find the crisps in the variety pack arent as flavourful as when bought individually.
This thread brings back fond memories of being a 'Mexican' ( from south of the birder going to uni in NI and my mammy posting me uo packs of cheese and onion, my vice, i wouldnt care if i never had a bar of chocolate every again as long as i could have my crisps! After 4 years i did acclimatise to the yellow pack Tayto but southern ones will always be the winner

allhailthebrain · 28/05/2023 02:14

Out of interest, did you ever get a response from couple 2? Obviously you did from 1 and 3...

Enjoy your retirement 🙂Host only those friends/family who will enhance it for you!

Kitkatcatflap · 28/05/2023 02:23

What a bloody cheek.

Pour yourself a drink and look up some nearby holiday lets.

Lovely to hear from you after such a long time. We have become very popular since our move. I am happy to recommend the following apartments - obviously you would need to check availability. Let us know your plans and we can meet up for a drink.

chezzabee80 · 28/05/2023 05:00

Can you just say you decided with that house move that it's family only as finding it too much with all the hotel requests, we did that parents only as was getting too costly with airport runs, getting extra food in and eating out etc so now if you want to visit I can recommend a local hotel and happy to cook a couple meals but that's it now as none of the people offer to put us up when we visit and we wouldn't put them out just because we wanted a free holiday.

christmassausages · 28/05/2023 09:24

SageRosemary · 27/05/2023 18:31

@Bababette This is what you need, accept no substitute!

Show quote history

@SageRosemary you are wrong,wrong,wrong! These are the correct ones🤣

IsAinmDummm · 28/05/2023 09:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What are you even on about??? 😆😆😆

ScottBakula · 28/05/2023 10:07

Good grief what happened to this thread, when I read the last posts on Friday everyone was playing nicely together.
Now there are loads of deleted msgs people been told to fuck of , rude demanding request (and tayto wars)

If @momager1 chooses to come back and update us on her 'friends' CFery and post more poodle photos and recipes, I would like it but by no means demand it or call her a lier .

I am now off to amazon to track down some taytos so that I can decide for myself which one is superior

chaosmaker · 28/05/2023 10:24

Is Germoline bubble gum still around? Used to love that as a kid, tasted exactly as it smells :) Glad you've de-CFered yourself, OP and look forward to the recipes. Hope your husband has a lovely surprise when your friend shows up x

Dizzywizz · 28/05/2023 10:31

chaosmaker · 28/05/2023 10:24

Wtf??!! Germoline bubble gum!!!?????

AllstarFacilier · 28/05/2023 10:32

momager1 · 26/05/2023 15:39

just for a peek...before I head to beach. This is a piece of my lasagna recipe

Ok I keep coming back for the lasagna recipe 😂

AllstarFacilier · 28/05/2023 10:35

Oh god I posted that before reading the other messages. It does look delicious though!

PeachyPeachTrees · 28/05/2023 13:13

"Thanks for getting in touch. This our home now, we don't have room for guests and now that we are retired we aren't going to be hosting or doing as much cooking. When our daughter visits she rents a condo on site and we meet up for BBQs etc. There's also a great all inclusive hotel opposite, it would be great to see you if you stay nearby."

ScottBakula · 28/05/2023 14:02

Dizzywizz · 28/05/2023 10:31

Wtf??!! Germoline bubble gum!!!?????

Show quote history

Ah yes I remember this it was very strange but nice

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