Leaving newborn alone for 5 mins at a time?

[Birminghambabe]

This might sound ridiculous but I’m a FTM and unsure if I am BU.

If my 4 week old is asleep in our bedroom but I need to do some washing up, have a quick shower etc I leave him for 5 mins at a time (always checking on him every 5 mins). Sometimes if I move him into his Moses downstairs he wakes up so I try and keep him asleep in his crib upstairs.

My friend who is also a mum to a newborn said she could never do that and would just move him even if it disturbs him into the same room as her.

Now as a FTM I’m now paranoid that I shouldn’t be leaving him - someone please tell me if I’m doing this wrong!

Do people here realise that nurseries take babies from 6 WEEKS old for up to 10 hours a day? That's 10 hours a day away from their mothers breathing, presence, influence and touch. Yes, the SIDS guidance is important but a lot of the posters are causing themselves so much unnecessary anxiety. Babies are actually quite tough little things, and can be far more resilient than many of the posters appreciate. It's lovely that you all want to do your best but stop fretting so much and take time to enjoy your poo!

I was joking but I warn you don't tell your children that you brought them to the bathroom they will say the same thing and be disgusted. They will love you but at the same time they will feel disgusted.

Enjoy your children as they get older and develop their quirky personalities.

I can assure you they don’t feel disgusted by me

My baby started nursery at 12 weeks. The baby room at his nursery has a sleep room with no door off of the main area with several cots.

The babies in the sleep room are checked on but no one stays with them the entire time, even when they are under 6 months.

They’re never completely alone though and there are other babies nearby to regulate breathing. Most nurseries I know require at least 12 weeks anyway.

Completely.

But there is a very weird earnestness about some mumsnetters and this eagerness to follow absolutely every guideline to the letter.

This thread is like a weird parallel universe. Personally I ate nuts when I was pregnant because it sounded like bollocks to me. And guess what it was.

While there are some really rare unlucky cases particularly those involving prematurity ‘cot death’ is often linked to neglect. That is why the rates are 5x as high in mothers under 20. So if you are an attentive non-smoking, non drug addict parent who puts their baby to bed on their back it it is very highly unlikely that they will die of cot death. This is regardless of them sleeping in their own room and breastfeeding.

In real life I have come across people who put babies to sleep on their slide or front cos apparently they wouldn’t sleep otherwise. I wouldn’t have done that personally but equally they were in their own rooms from 3 months and were put into bed upstairs at this point. Others wouldn’t do that and that’s fine.

In the end we all risk assess things differently using the same information and that’s fine. Personally I think that taking a newborn to the toilet with you is nuts, but it’s your decision to either do it or not do it.

But ‘best mother’ contests on mumsnet help no one.

My baby stopped breathing at 2 months old - was in her pram in the same room as us and started making a choking noise. I Picked her up while partner called the ambulance. 5 seconds panic before tipping her upside side and patting her on the back. Started breathing after 30-45 seconds (seemed like forever). Not sure she would still be here if she hadn't been in the same room. It happened twice more before she grew out of it - doctor was vague but said it could have been reflux, but she obviously couldn't choke it up herself.

@sunshinesis you have to rub their back until they burp babies struggle to burp after a meal. Colief is good you add it to every bottle or breast feed it helps with digestion.

Mine were with me for 3 months when I went back to work. It didn't dawn on me to keep checking on them and I didn't have a baby monitor. This was over 50 years ago.