Husband doesn't know my middle name

[bigbluehamster]

Together for six years. Have a one-year-old together.

He can't tell me my middle name!

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is offensive?!

Did he ever know and just forgot?

When we went to register our intent to marry at the register office I couldn’t remember DH’s date of birth.

I had to think what my husbands middle name was for a few seconds when I read your thread. It certainly doesn't come to mind straight away as it's not something that's ever used. But yes, he probably should know it.

Does it really matter? Does he remember your birthday, anniversary, favourite things?

My husband doesn't know any of my middle names, because I've kept them a secret from him. He's not going to find them out either.

I'd be really hurt by that too OP.

I'd be annoyed, but if my relationship was otherwise OK I couldn't get het up about it.

Just asked my husband and was surprised he remembered both my middle name and Confirmation name.

Are they not on your marriage certificate?

I'd be annoyed too OP, it would make me feel unimportant.

Wouldn't bother me 😐

And used at your wedding?

Same for me. And DH took a stab at what he thought was my middle name - and turned out, he was correct, but he admitted afterwards that he was torn between it and three possible others.

I wouldn’t read anything into it. Middle names just aren’t that important. I couldn’t tell you what any of my closest friends’ are, and I only know DH’s because it’s John.

I ask my DP mine every 6 months or so and he's like "hang on I know this". He never guesses right. I laugh at the baby name threads where people agonise over it. 8 honestly would not think it's a big deal.

Coming back to say, just checked with my husband. He kinda knows my middle name but he can't spell it.

I don't have a middle name so DH is fine there.

I had to double check his the other day to make sure I hadn't mixed up his middle name with my ex's though. We've been together for a decade but they're similar common names so that's my excuse.

We didn't have to answer questions about each other when we gave notice though, just gave our own details and ID, in and out in 5 minutes. We didn't use his middle during the wedding either.

@ComtesseDeSpair my DP always guesses Mary, the female middle name equivalent of John😂

Ah bless you OP! No I don't think that's odd.

We had a family do in a pub and when I tried to order a drink the barman asked for ID and I whipped around indignantly and said: DAD!! What's my age?

He acted like he'd suddenly been put on Mastermind unexpectedly and said "ah! ummm..."

Different people retain different information. It's important that he learns it now though :)

I just asked my husband of 24 years if he knew my middle name
3 attempts later and he got it right
😂😂😂

I am married 35 years and I doubt if my dh knows my middle name. I am not 100% sure of his tbh.

I wouldn't get worked up over it. I'd probably find it entertaining with the guessing.

It’s perfectly reasonable to feel that way. My babydad didn’t know my birthday after about 2 years and gaslit me into thinking it wasn’t a big deal and not something to be offended by. Obviously it’s not a big deal but it hurts a little

dp knows mine but i think thats only because my first name and two middle names together are an unusual combo and i have a pretty unusual first name so anything with that is unexpected!

Been with my dp 15 years and I'm pretty sure he doesn't know my first name ! I go by one of my middle names and I'm not sure I've ever told him what my first name is.

I wouldn’t overly worry. I always have to think when I’m asked my own age!

Unless you use your middle name all the time (in which case I’d have him checked for memory loss), it’s not remotely offensive.

DH doesn’t have a middle name, but I don’t even remember the month we got married in, far less the date, which my parents and ILs find horrifying.