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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband doesn't know my middle name

160 replies

bigbluehamster · 24/05/2023 21:18

Together for six years. Have a one-year-old together.

He can't tell me my middle name!

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is offensive?!

OP posts:
Mew2 · 25/05/2023 19:35

I am lucky that when hubby introduces me to a friend of his that he remembers my actual name. Am I offended no- he has never remembered it when asked since his brain injury and I am known as the cats mother.... however he remembers our daughters name (together over 5 years daughter nearly 3)... if he didn't remember my middle name it wouldn't be a deal breaker either

GoodChat · 25/05/2023 19:39

Mew2 · 25/05/2023 19:35

I am lucky that when hubby introduces me to a friend of his that he remembers my actual name. Am I offended no- he has never remembered it when asked since his brain injury and I am known as the cats mother.... however he remembers our daughters name (together over 5 years daughter nearly 3)... if he didn't remember my middle name it wouldn't be a deal breaker either

I think it's a bit different if he has memory loss due to a brain injury.

I hope you're all doing ok though.

rumred · 25/05/2023 19:47

Knowing details such as a middle name to me means you listen to your partner and value them. So yep I'd be pissed off

ToWhitToWhoo · 25/05/2023 20:08

I wouldn't be hurt, unless perhaps he remembers everyone's middle name except yours.

People have different strengths and weaknesses with regard to memory and perception. I'm pretty good at remembering details like people's middle names, and conversations that we might have had 10 years ago, but have sometimes upset people by failing to recognise them visually out of context.

ToWhitToWhoo · 25/05/2023 20:17

And, while I'm not bad at remembering people's dates of birth, I try to ensure that as few people as possible know mine, and if they do know, they'd better pretend not to! I can't bear to be wished a happy birthday, aka transition-to-a-new-age-day.

beanii · 25/05/2023 20:52

bigbluehamster · 25/05/2023 17:28

It means, I am offended that he doesn't know my full names

Show quote history

Annoyed, miffed - yes.

Offended 🤦‍♀️😂

Wishawisha · 25/05/2023 20:56

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/05/2023 21:20

When we went to register our intent to marry at the register office I couldn’t remember DH’s date of birth.

I find my DH’s birthday really difficult to remember for no good reason at all. It’s like the day/month sounds better in my mind the opposite way round and when people ask me his birthday I have to think about it and say it very slowly to avoid flipping it round.

Wishawisha · 25/05/2023 21:01

And no, it wouldn’t bother me either unless you were known by your middle name or unless it’s particularly unusual and/ or meaningful. I am pretty sure DH knows mine but if he’s forgotten I wouldn’t judge him; it’s a very bland name that I never, ever use. I probably haven’t even said it out loud for years.

LittlePoBeep · 25/05/2023 21:13

AnneLovesGilbert · 24/05/2023 21:20

When we went to register our intent to marry at the register office I couldn’t remember DH’s date of birth.

Was married 6 years and still got my (now x)DH DOB wrong! 😆

DiscoBeat · 25/05/2023 21:28

I'd be more worried about him than upset, to be honest. That's a pretty serious memory loss.

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