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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband doesn't know my middle name

160 replies

bigbluehamster · 24/05/2023 21:18

Together for six years. Have a one-year-old together.

He can't tell me my middle name!

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is offensive?!

OP posts:
ThatshallotBaby · 24/05/2023 23:11

Neither dh or I can remember the day we got married 17 years ago. He can’t even remember what colour my eyes are Grin

StampOnTheGround · 24/05/2023 23:13

I'm baffled at people not knowing their partners middle names haha - but by this thread it seems quite common!

I agree if everything else is great in your relationship to not worry too much about it.

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 24/05/2023 23:14

DH knows my middle name, I know his but it has two spellings and I can never remember which is his version.

He also knows more helpful stuff like my national insurance number, my car registration number and the birthdays of everyone in his family he wants to send cards to. I am far more clueless about things like that but I know other stuff instead.

EmptyBedBlues · 24/05/2023 23:14

wincarwoo · 24/05/2023 22:58

Personally I think it is very strange not to know this. It shows a lack of interest in the other person.

Out of all the things that have kept me interested in DH since 1992, his middle name really doesn’t figure.

toothbrusher · 24/05/2023 23:15

Been with DH 8 years and he can't tell me where my 2 birthmarks are 😂 Somr people don't see detail

iatealltheminieggs · 24/05/2023 23:15

My DH knows how to spell mine, but he can't pronounce it.
That makes two of us 😂

Blossomtoes · 24/05/2023 23:17

CharlottenBurger · 24/05/2023 21:22

My husband doesn't know any of my middle names, because I've kept them a secret from him. He's not going to find them out either.

Your marriage isn’t legal then. Your marriage ceremony and certificate have to use your full name.

Emmamoo89 · 24/05/2023 23:20

Wouldn't bother me. I sometimes forget my partners birthday

caringcarer · 24/05/2023 23:21

Does it really matter? Does he remember your birthday and wedding anniversary? I'd settle for that.

Tilllly · 24/05/2023 23:22

Forget his first name 😁

ASandwichNamedKevin · 24/05/2023 23:23

I find it odd so many people don't know middle names, I know the middle names of my family but also DH's parents and siblings. I know the middle names of some aunts, uncles, cousins but not all of them.

However I wouldn't be too offended if everything else is okay.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 24/05/2023 23:34

Unless this is alongside a bunch of actual issues...

It's kinda of a non-issue

Luredbyapomegranate · 24/05/2023 23:39

Some people don’t retain info like that, because you just never need it / it doesn’t mean anything

ToeJammed · 24/05/2023 23:49

I had a middle name on my original birth certificate, but when my parents replaced it a few years later due to it being lost, they forgot to include my middle name, so it wasn't put on the certificate.
So I have a middle name, but I don't.
I have never included it on any legal documents, including my marriage certificate.
My DH has no idea that I have a middle name.

Orders76 · 24/05/2023 23:51

If he's Wonderful in every other way, it shouldn't matter. I'm guessing no?

I just asked my almost asleep Dh for middle and he got it correct so I went for third name. Also correct, damn he's good.

Wishitsnows · 24/05/2023 23:53

i just asked my DH and it turns out he has two middle names! Well I must have heard them when we got married or something but must have completely forgotten.

Purplepeaches123 · 24/05/2023 23:54

EmptyBedBlues · 24/05/2023 21:56

DH doesn’t have a middle name, but I don’t even remember the month we got married in, far less the date, which my parents and ILs find horrifying.

I remember the date we got married but never actually remember it’s our anniversary on the actual day 😂

SleepingStandingUp · 24/05/2023 23:55

EmptyBedBlues · 24/05/2023 23:14

Out of all the things that have kept me interested in DH since 1992, his middle name really doesn’t figure.

What, you mean the thing that gets you hot and horny ISN'T that his middle? Weirdo 😂

Boomshock · 24/05/2023 23:57

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is offensive?!

It's not really offensive. The issue is that you must be assigning meaning to it, such as 'if he really cared about me he'd know my middle name'..or 'I know his but he doesn't know mine therefore that means he doesn't love me as much as I love him'.

Zenana · 25/05/2023 00:01

The way you describe him doesn't suggest a partner, though.

Zenana · 25/05/2023 00:03

Zenana · 25/05/2023 00:01

The way you describe him doesn't suggest a partner, though.

@ICMB the quote didn't work.

Chasingadvice · 25/05/2023 00:04

Lizzt2007 · 24/05/2023 21:48

Been with my dp 15 years and I'm pretty sure he doesn't know my first name ! I go by one of my middle names and I'm not sure I've ever told him what my first name is.

He's never seen a single piece of Mail with your name on it? Never a rental or mortgage agreement contract with your legal name? Bank card?

What an odd lie to tell.

CountessBathorysBeautySecrets · 25/05/2023 00:04

I was just watching a Tiktok where they stop straight couples in the street and aske them those kinds of question, 'what's her date of birth?', 'what's her middle name?', what are her parents' names?' etc. and none of the guys had a clue. Of course, they may have stopped some men who did know and they just didn't show them, but in my experience a woman is far more likely to file all this data away than a man is.

So basically, if he doesn't know your middle name it's no biggie, but if it's just a symptom and he knows far less about you than you know about him, it's a bit sad.

welshmum3 · 25/05/2023 00:10

When I was getting divorced - our offspring were 10, 15 and 17 at that point- my ex rang me to check their names and dates of birth 🤣.
He did have 10 kids by four different women, so no wonder he was confused 🤔

Thisistheendof · 25/05/2023 00:17

My own mother can never remember how old I am. It's not a sign of dementia, she's always randomly added one or two years to my age. Has occasionally argued with me when challenged and even sent my 40th birthday card a year early!