To tell pronoun announcing recruiter I don't want the job

[hursty900]

Had a call with a recruiter today- clearly female name, pic on linked in clearly female & then at start of call she announced 'my pronouns are she/her, may I ask what yours are?'... I mean she was polite, but it just seemed ridiculously performative (I too am clearly female) & has made me question if I want to work for this organisation. I have nothing against trans people etc I just really bristle with all the over the top performative stuff.. Am I just totally out of touch? My current company does not have any kind of stance in this area which I guess is terrible if you are one to name their pronouns..tbh I've got enough shit going on to have to explain my preferred pronouns to everyone I meet!

What did you reply? I'm ok with working with people with different beliefs personally.

You say that, yet pronoun people are some of the most intolerant. Anyone who doesn't believe in that stuff is transphobic and bigoted. THAT is why people hate it so much (amongst other reasons).

If all it was was stating their own preference and moving on it's fine. But let's see the recruiters face if OP says 'no thanks, I'm GC'.

Can I ask has anyone answered this wrongly and been asked further?

So if I said my name, am I likely to be questioned more?

False comparison.

Why? Gender identity is a belief. Expecting people to use pronouns in line with others' beliefs rather than based on what sex people are is an attempt to impose that belief on them.

Of course they are demanding participation otherwise they would state their own pronouns and not ask you to declare yours.

Yes! It's infantilising and awkward if nothing else. Those who want to state their pronouns, will. Zero need to ask around the circle.

What did you reply? I'm ok with working with people with different beliefs personally.

Yes, people are welcome to believe what they want, but I don't think it's good to base your company policies about communication and forms of address on a minority belief.

I would not work for such a company.

I grew up a child, rejecting gender stereotypes. I will die doing so, including foisting myself into certain boxes for these twats.

I’ve asked twice, as genuinely interested in a response, and not got one - if this is all about being genuinely inclusive, why is there not an equivalent for people with disabilities and people of colour? Why is it only pronouns?

So sorry if anyone's said this but I think the recruiter is toeing the line.

If they have enough potential recruits telling them 'I'm not doing this, it's ridiculous' they will feed back to their managers that this is an issue.

Recruiters REALLY WANT to put the right people forward, and I think we should bear in mind that the majority of people are going for it because they mistakenly believe everyone is.

Tell the recruiter you can't recruit because potentials disagree and they might just spot the line.

It's cheap and easy to make a fuss about pronouns, doesn't actually affect anything substantive like disabled access, but gives the virtue signallers some nice feels.

I don't know but I'm guessing it's because other minorities are more reasonable and do not expect such adjustments to be made for them. Even though often sadly, they have to work harder than anyone to achieve equal status but they just get on with it and advocate where necessary in a mature way, not name calling everyone who doesn't make adjustments for them. Just my view!!

She(he/they) says completely missing (ignoring?) the point!

Tell them you have the exact same 2nd person pronouns as every other person on the planet and to use those as you would with every other person. We all have the same.

I’m not sure what kind of equivalent you think there could be?

Asking about access requirements should be a given anyway.

Really? You mean the sort of “equality” that puts men’s feelings first?

I’d probably ask what the toilet arrangements are before making a decision.

I was asked that recently, I replied, "You mean you're ok with potentially trying to out people who aren't ready to "come out" yet"?

Yup. I paid big money for a maternity nursing course, only to have the lecturer ostentatiously use the term CHESTFeeding ('It's important to be inclusive!') instead of breastfeeding. It was very distracting and just silly really. I'd hazard a guess that 99.999999% of mothers would prefer to call a spade a spade and their breasts their breasts.

Yet she's probably still #bossbabe posting on LinkedIn whenever she meets her targets or leases a new Audi 😂

That'd put me off working for the company too @hursty900

Some people find it offensive to be labelled
mixed race or generically ‘Asian’. Someone may want to be referred to as having additional mobility needs not disabled. There are lots of examples and actually it’s much more nuanced as it’s not obvious visually in the way a he/she pronoun arguably is.

I’m surprised (or not) that companies have jumped on the pronouns fad ignoring the 20% of the population who face real discrimination.

So if a recruiter asked me I’d be inclined to ask them a question back how they deal with this ^ as well.

I wouldn’t take the job. You just know there’s kind of crap is going to be thrust upon you, you’ll be forced to declare you’re Allie of every fucking diversity group, that you agree with men in frocks infiltrating women’s spaces snd sports. You’ll be giving up lunch hour after lunch hour for some performative diversity champion trying to advance their career on a tick box exercise.

You’ll just want to be left alone to do your job but you’ll be too busy supporting this campaign or that campaign you’ll end up doing actual proper work in your own time in order to support some woke bullshit.

id just answer, I’m a woman, that means I am an adult female human. Therefore the correct pronouns are she/her. This is basic English and would be worried about any firm who couldn’t understand this very simple point.

I think a good response is just to ask what they mean and have them try to explain what they’re doing and why. I mean if twenty years ago someone had asked me that I would have been so confused and likely offended that they couldn’t tell I was a woman

Interested to know what the recruiter said when you said no?

Fairly out of touch. It sounds like you’re not a good fit, so just decline.

I see your point. However, no one says you have to believe their stated identity. All you have to do is address a person by the way want to be addressed. You can believe whatever you want. It's about respect.

I’m with you OP, that would’ve made me roll my eyes too!