To tell pronoun announcing recruiter I don't want the job

[hursty900]

Had a call with a recruiter today- clearly female name, pic on linked in clearly female & then at start of call she announced 'my pronouns are she/her, may I ask what yours are?'... I mean she was polite, but it just seemed ridiculously performative (I too am clearly female) & has made me question if I want to work for this organisation. I have nothing against trans people etc I just really bristle with all the over the top performative stuff.. Am I just totally out of touch? My current company does not have any kind of stance in this area which I guess is terrible if you are one to name their pronouns..tbh I've got enough shit going on to have to explain my preferred pronouns to everyone I meet!

But you address everyone in the same way - you/yours. No one speaks in the 3rd person to someone's face so why ask?

It’s all about respect - it’s just we don’t extend the same respect to people with other protected characteristics.

But will they respect my stance that men (however they identify) are not allowed in my toilets/changing rooms, are not allowed in women’s groups, are not counted as women in employment statistics esp relating to gender pay gap? Or does respect only go one way?

Transphobic? Some people are very quick to allege one of the dreaded phobias

YANBU. If I was asked this, I’d reply ‘I’m female.’ That to me is a logical, factual answer based on a concrete sex-based reality. The silly ‘which gender?’ pronoun nonsense isn’t something I am willing to engage with.

That is total genius.

I am sure that might be discriminatory
If you were vulnerable health wise, you wouldn't necessarily want to list them

Cutting off your nose to spite your face much?

Reply... I'm still working on my identify..... And leave it there.

Tbf what isn't transphobic these days?

I didn't say no..

I havent read the thread. But I was asked this by a research company researcher last year, who had in their initial email to me put their pronouns. I explained politely that I didnt do pronouns as research had demonstrated clearly they were detrimental to women in the workplace. She seemed surprised; asked again; I re-iterated that No i didnt do pronouns. And that was the end. I grew to know that she was much younger than me (probably mid-late 20s, I am mid-late 50's) and I felt sorry for her. She was surprised by my response. Clearly she hadnt heard many women saying no.

Why?

Why don't we let those who care about announcing bad English grammar to all carry on and let everyone else get on with life. Isn't it a choice to announce ones pronouns?

'No thanks, my name is X. You can use that to avoid offending me'.

I would just say I am not sure what you mean. My name is Cherry.

What?

A few responses from others to my last reply.
This is a very charged issue that has many subparts that would need to be addressed separately. I'm not informed enough, nor eloquent enough, to address it in the thorough manner it deserves. We're all wading through though, aren't we. As a first step all I can do is respect a person by addressing them as they wish and show solidarity by stating my own pronouns. I feel quite lucky that my brain matches my anatomy. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have grown up looking in a mirror thinking, God got this wrong. I liken the issue around trans identity (?) to gay rights, to voting rights, property rights, employment rights, segregation, all previous fights really, in which some marginalized group fought for recognition and standing and suffered abuse by society, those in power and those supporting the power structures of the time . All I can do is accept things are changing and choose how to respond and for me, I am trying to do that thoughtfully and respectfully. I certainly don't have all the answers.

I routinely say “Ms” because my marital status is none of their business.

i work taking calls adding people to a database. I have to ask about gender and ethnicity. I will get marked down if I don’t. Some colleagues will say “I refer to myself at white English female - can I ask how you refer to yourself?” I go for “are you male, female, another term or do you prefer not to say? What is your ethnicity for example you might be white English?”

If I ask about pronouns (we don’t) it certainly won’t be me taking the decision. I’d think it’s ridiculous. Fine to decide not to deal with the organisation or complain about the practice but unless you are talking to someone senior that takes the decision to please just say you prefer not to say. why am I asking, underlying policy of the organisation are way above me. (In our case we probably could need them as I help people get through to a third party so I’ll be saying “I have C here who has told me that she/he…”)

It's interesting that you don't mention women's rights in the list above.

Surely you don’t ask people’s pronouns - you wait for them to disclose them.

How about answering "My pronouns are skfhkhg / ryjdhhhñs"?

Probably throws them on with property rights.

🔥

she and her?
Who does she think she is? The cats mother?