To tell pronoun announcing recruiter I don't want the job

[hursty900]

Had a call with a recruiter today- clearly female name, pic on linked in clearly female & then at start of call she announced 'my pronouns are she/her, may I ask what yours are?'... I mean she was polite, but it just seemed ridiculously performative (I too am clearly female) & has made me question if I want to work for this organisation. I have nothing against trans people etc I just really bristle with all the over the top performative stuff.. Am I just totally out of touch? My current company does not have any kind of stance in this area which I guess is terrible if you are one to name their pronouns..tbh I've got enough shit going on to have to explain my preferred pronouns to everyone I meet!

Are there any statistics on the number of people who are actually truly transgender?

I'm not talking about cross dressing, drag or "attention seeking claiming to be non-binary because it makes me different" - but people who have transitioned by having surgery and hormone treatment from one sex to another or are in that process or genuinely want to and will do in the fullness of time.

I have met hundreds probably thousands of people in my life, and I have only met 3 people that are transgender.

This whole pronoun thing seems overkill because 99 time out of 100, a woman is a she and man is a he. Unless you are talking about young people who want to pretend to be special and different and want to be known as Mx or they -when (they are mostly) gay men or attention seeking heterosexual women.

When you are talking TO someone you donr actually need pronouns of he she or they. You use "you".

So yes it is kind of performative. She or he are third person .. not needed when talking to someone

What next? Having to announce your sexuality so you're not accused of being homophobic?

It's just completely illogical being accused of being transphobic just because you don't want to state the bleeding obvious.

It happens all the time when one of our employees in India, for example, is trying to fix an IT issue for one of my team.
"Can you tell Sandra I've rectified his issue ". No biggy, no arms/weapons/tears.

Of course it's performative. There are two reasons why someone in this position would ask you for your pronouns. 1) They believe in gender ideology themselves and/or 2) It is company policy. They are unlikely to do it for reason 1 alone imo, i.e. if it's not company policy. If the person is asking you because they've been compelled to, that makes it performative really.

yet another emplyer with this ridiculous request

Can anything you don't like be described as "transphobic" now?

Not joining in with this bullshit? Does that make me transphobic? Oh well

Yes!

🥱

And yes, I wouldn't give two shits if someone misgendered me. I'd think it was a bit funny.

For years as a little kid and teen, I was delighted when people referred to me as a boy. I genuinely thought I was going to be a boy when I grew up. I remember being gutted when I realised that I couldn't!

Wouldn't want to be one now though 😁

Agree 100%. And if someone with a gender neutral name is accidentally misgendered they correct their associate, or if they are asked to clarify, they clarify - end of. No one calls anyone whateverphobic over it.

Also I would be interested if a person asked to be known only as Mr x or Mrs Y would they be facilitated? I'd imagine everyone would tell them to get over themselves. But it's the same principle

@ShivWambsgans ... context. I said I've enough other shit going on to announce my pronouns at every opportunity.. however many syllables it takes.

If people want to change sex, good luck to them. Live and let live.

I just don't want to be forced to state the bleeding obvious. I find it fucking annoying.

I mean, your definition of transgender isn’t actually a valid definition of transgender. Do you know how hard it is to even get to the point of being prescribed hormones in this country, let alone surgery? So there will be plenty of people who are trans but haven’t yet been able to get to that point.

But - the ONS did publish some stats based on the last census, which you can read here: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/culturalidentity/genderidentity/bulletins/genderidentityenglandandwales/census2021

Oh, and if you’re openly shitty in your opinions towards trans people, any trans people that you do meet probably won’t disclose it to you anyway, so…

This.

I thought people stopped doing this a while ago

I assume that pp is referring to gender re-assignment being a protected characteristic. The thing is, gender critical beliefs are also a protected characteristic (and are 'worthy of respect in a democratic society' as is non belief in gender identity. While holding gender critical beliefs does not mean that you can misgender or deadname others in the workplace, it also means that you cannot be compelled to announce your own pronouns. Organisations can certainly ask but they cannot compell.

Of course they are demanding participation otherwise they would state their own pronouns and not ask you to declare yours.

If I answer the question then I am participating.

It’s so funny/weird to me how so many of you are so up in arms about this and yet if someone referred to you as “he” or “they” you’d have a right old strop.

I certainly wouldn't have a right old strop. If someone had actually met me, I'd be very surprised if they referred to me as 'he', because I'm clearly female, but I wouldn't be the least bit upset or cross. If someone assumed I was a 'he' having only seen my name (on an email etc) I wouldn't be surprised at all, as my name is sort of unisex (spelled slightly differently for a man, but lots of people don't know that). Referring to me as 'they' if they didn't know what sex I was would be a totally normal thing to do, and is a practice that pre-dates the gender debate by decades if not centuries.

Can you not see that someone being genuinely and innocently mistaken about what sex I am is not remotely offensive, unlike someone trying to make me collude with their pretence that a man can become a woman and vice versa and define myself accordingly?

A head scratch because it makes no sense at all. Like saying, 'I don't believe in words' or, 'I don't believe in prepositions.'

The recruiter might just as well have said 'my religious belief is Christianity, may I ask what your belief is' If they did, however, there would be a few raised eyebrows because it's not appropriate or relevant to ask this kind of question, particularly in a work environment.

I'd be annoyed, but if I wanted the job, I'd overlook it, though I'd be tempted to ask if it isn't obvious. (And for that matter, if you were male but genuinely wanted to 'pass' as female, being asked your pronouns might not please you, either.)

It could well be a sign of wider 'issues' with the company, but if options are limited, you may have to ignore it.

Interesting that people cared less about possibly offending by 'misgendering' someone back when the person offended would just be men and women with an androgynous look.

It’s so funny/weird to me how so many of you are so up in arms about this and yet if someone referred to you as “he” or “they” you’d have a right old strop.

Unlikely, I'm an adult quite capable of correcting someone if it's necessary and saying nothing if it doesn't matter. I've worked with many people from other countries who generally have excellent English but frequently make mistakes with pronouns, somehow I have managed not to verbally abuse my colleagues for a simple mistake.

Am I just totally out of touch?

Yes.

Not these days.

we had someone come in with a name similar to Michael. Beard. Shirt. Tie. And a skirt. Told me they’re a she.

My eyes rolled.

False comparison.