Should I have kept my big mouth shut at work?

[Perlosa]

I work for a large tech company and manage a very small, specialist team. My LM was sharing a ppt that he is planning on presenting to the wider team in a all hands call next week. It's a ppt concerning systemic racism and has come directly from People. We had a flurry of similar talks following George Floyd's death but not so much recently.

At the end when my manager was asking for input/feedback I (as a half Indian/English woman) said some may feel uncomfortable with being labelled "a victim" of racism. I as the only POC (white passing but that's beside the point) thought it was a fairly innocuous point to make and was just wanting my LM to strike the right tone. But after we got off the call one of my colleagues sent an IM to the effect of "what was that all about them?" and some other slightly disapproving/patronising comments. Tbg it seemed like it was said in advisory way from him - I've only recently been promoted.

Really scared I've messed up.

OK so as to not dripfeed, I may have said something insensitive. There was a slide on household ownership which showed British Indians being the ethnic group most likely to own homes in the UK and I said somwrhing like "so this is an eg of what I'm saying". It's bad timing as I my cousin (who is a pilot) brought up this very thing the last time we had lunch so it was at the forefront of my mind and I felt qualified to make my point! Every british-indian person at the table agreed.

I would never had said anything had I not known the feelings of my own blood

I think I've worked out your abbreviations but don't understand what the issue is.

I'm white by the way so maybe that's why

What exactly did you say?

yeah I don't understand either, you said as a person of colour that it's not great being labelled a victim of racism, which is fair.
I don't understand the second part about owning houses? how did that come up at work?

I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’ve said or what has happened, the op is really confusing

You said labelling people as victims of racism is bad.
The meeting carried on to home ownership and showed that British Indians are most likely to own a house.
You said 'This is an example of what I'm saying'

So you meant Indian people aren't victims of racism because they are likely to own a house? So they don't feel like victims? I don't see the connection.

BUT I wouldn't worry either way. Unless your tone was condescending and rude or you were shouting it most likely won't be remembered 2 weeks from now.

I get it. OP stated that it could be seen as racist labelling all people of colour as victims, especially the Asian community who, statistically, fare better economically and social mobility wise than other ethnic groups

I can't understand your post or what the problem was exactly. However, I have a personal rule: race, gender, equality, diversity, trans rights etc etc are a minefield. I never say a thing in front of work colleagues about them. I'd advise anyone else to do the same.

Oh sorry line manager= LM.

I just seemed to have pissed people off by sharing my opinion that British Indians or other groups (used as Indians as I belong to thqt ethnicity) may not like the tone of the PowerPoint. I know my cousin's would find it patronising and used home ownership as an example. I explicitly said in relation to that slide "you might want to use this as an example of people over overcoming adversity".

I'm guessing your point was that individuals or British Indians generally who have successfully got on the housing ladder might not see themselves as 'victims'. Sorry if I've got that wrong. But my point is a general that even if you said something, unclear, clumsy or something that could be misconstrued (and I'm not saying you did), it's not the end of the world. If someone genuinely feels offended they ought to tell you and you can explain or apologise if approriate. As a POC surely your views on the content of diversity training should carry some weight. (I doubt you've really messed up.)

Obviously owning a house by POC does not illustrate the non existence of racism.

Is that was the slide was trying to demonstrate?

You said labelling people as victims of racism is bad.

Not bad per say but it's a term not everyone will like to be labelled with. I remember my own grandfather taking IMMENSE pride in saying he came to this country with £10 in his pocket. He built quite a legacy (cornershops, houses etc).

I don’t really correlate your first op about poc not wishing to be seen as victims of racism and how that relates to British Indians being the demographic with the highest home ownership

how is home ownership an example of being a victim of racism?

Maybe the colleague who sent the IM was just confused? Because I am not sure I understand how house ownership came into this, but I didn't see the slides or hear the discussion.

Is that was the slide was trying to demonstrate

No the slide was using the data to evidence systemic racism. I made the above statement as I thought a pp believed I held the view that racism doesn't exist because British Indians have high house ownership.

If you are at a proper big tech

1. You may not have a job soon so dont worry
2. Your boss if white male ihe s likely shitting himself / talking to his HRBP
3. You should be hamming up your asian-ness. Everyone spends their time trying to find ways to demonstrate their speical ness and how they have ."overcome" things You are double minority woman + asian join some women and or minority leadership groups and trade it for all its worth.

experience: i work in big tech

I think that you are trying to say that while many people may be impacted by racism, continuous use of the word 'victim' almost feels like another form of micro aggression.

If as a person of colour, you are automatically put into the category of 'victim' it can contribute to the perceptions others have of you and undermine the way you are viewed in terms of social standing, career or educational achievements etc.

Perhaps just send a conciliatory email to say you appreciated the presentation and can see a lot of work has gone into it but that a couple of minor tweaks to the wording would help to make it more inclusive for those, like your family members, who do not identify with the word victim.

No, so I said not all people will like the characterisation of being a victim of racism.

So when the slide showing crime, education and home ownership by ethnic group came up I said "this is what I'm talking about, in my experience some like to frame their accomplishments in terms of overcoming adversity". Or something like that.

The point is weak.

But I'm alarmed a colleague felt the need to nudge/correct me.

@Calmdown14 YES! Thank you! This is why I read maths at university.

Is your colleague white or Indian?

Because if your colleague is white and you are giving your experience/feedback as a POC and they are feeling the need to correct you then that's on them not you.

Sounds a bit white saviourish swooping in to correct the POC that they are actually a victim after all even if they don't want to be called on.

So you don't want them to call people of colour victims but you do want them to talk about how people of colour overcome adversity, is that right?

You may not have a job soon so dont worry

How reassuring haha!

So you don't want them to call people of colour victims but you do want them to talk about how people of colour overcome adversity, is that right? No! Just that it's wrong to assume every single non-white person in the UK is going to identify with the term

Line manager is white. And so is the colleague that pulled me up.

In case of doubt I understand you to be saying only that that 'victim' might be an unfortunate choice of word and that you were trying to make the training more nuanced. No one could reasonably have a problem with that ... but yet like another poster said there are no go areas these days especially when it comes to diversity training or similar and it's less stressful to just nod and smile.