To not let other people feed my FF baby?

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MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

If this is what feels right for you go with it. Don't go against your instincts. It isn't weird or OTT in my opinion, I actually find it weird when people are too keen to hand over their baby.

You wouldn't stick baby on grandmas tits if you were breastfeeding!

How crude. As you know, that's not even possible , so just crude for crude's sake.

OP can obviously do as she and her DH please, people are just suggesting maybe she might enjoy the help if she relaxes a bit. I BF/ combi-fed all 3 of mine. DS1 was so bloody hungry all the time all I did was sit on my backside and feed. When my best friend came over and said 'Right, what can I do? Washing? Ironing/ prep food?' I couldn't wait to give her the baby and do something different, so I ironed and prepped food. All folk are saying is don't burn your bridges- if OP doesn't want MIL feeding ask clearly abd politely for something else.

Blimey.
My MIL did absolutely nothing, didn’t even buy a congrats card or a single present, Christmas, Birthdays for any of our 3 childrenHer only grandchildren. She wouldn’t even offer them a drink or a biscuit.

Thank goodness for my mum who despite being unwell would move mountains to do whatever she could for us and her grandchildren.

Be thankful for what you have
They won’t be around for ever.

She should 'let' her DH feed sometimes? Why is it OP's choice when baby is DH's too?

If DH wants to feed more, a compromise should be reached.

That's your assumption. Op said her MIL judged because she couldn't BF.

Also, she stayed overnight soon after Op's C section but never offered any help.

If you don't want to, don't. She's had her kids!

She can give cuddles and play and whatever else, but feeding is a special bonding time and you don't have to share it with anyone other than the other parent involved.

My DD breast fed my dgc but even if she bottle fed if she wanted to feed her baby I would not complain. I used to go and make a lasagne for dinner and play with or take out older dgc and walk their dog at the same time.

Looking forward to the follow up in 11 years time when OP is run ragged with two kids and complaining her MIL doesn’t do enough childcare.

The thing is the baby is not a toy, you don't need to share.

I breastfed, at the start I expressed a few bottles but then decided I didn't want others to do feeds so I didn't bother.
If I'd formula fed and wanted to do the feeds myself I don't see the issue, except with the baby's dad.

Yeah super weird to keenly hand the baby over to their father, WTF

I think you need some time alone with just DH and your baby. You don’t need constant visitors and with Zoom, FaceTime etc.. it’s not like they won’t see the baby.
Agree with your DH no visitors for a month. Plenty of time for gp when the baby is teething or hits the terrible twos.

@coffeecupsandwaxmelts

How would you feel if you weren't allowed to feed your future grandchild?

Why on earth would it bother me if my future daughter (unborn baby could be a girl don't know yet) or daughter in law to my son didn't want me to give their baby a bottle?
Do you want to know how I would feel? I would feel respect for their wishes it's as simple as that.

And yes I would offer to take the bins out.

PFB Syndrome

Oh how original 🥱.

A new mother wants to set boundaries and you scream PFB. Tedious.

@Sissynova there will never be any childcare anyway so I’m not worried about that.

You sound massively selfish tbh.

Never be any childcare? You’re never going to go out or you’ll never let your PIL babysit?

Yawn. Come back when you're a grandparent.

@Billyho they will never offer, they live far away and even if one of us were to move, they wouldn’t want to. They don’t with any of the GC who live close

@Sandylanes69 really? Why? It’s my child. Grandparents aren’t entitled to their grandchildren if they aren’t nice to their parents.

The baby is a person who has a right to a close and loving relationship with her extended family. Gatekeeping that is incredibly selfish. Parents don't own their children.

Its a really daft mumsnet expectation that people who visit baby should cater to you, they shouldn't make extra work for you. Its nice of her to offer of course but shouldn't be expected. My mum when she visits will pull out the hoover, my mil never would. One woman feels at home at my house and knows I won't mind,the other feels she needs to respect my boundaries (in reality I wouldn't mind but I don't expect it of her). It's unfair to hold your mil to your mum's standards. Have you ever gone over to hers and made cups of tea or run a hoover around? If the answer is no then you know yabu.

As for feeding your child, that is up to you. Other people doing if means you can eat or drink in peace, take a nap. In the long run id say it os helpful however its a lovely bonding time too.It's up to you and however you feel about it is valid. Don't be so hard on yourself.

You know we’re discussing the OP’s baby and not a dolly or a bag of sweeties, right? She doesn’t have to share so everyone gets the exact same amount of turns. MIL isn’t five: she’ll cope with not feeding OP’s baby. Once again: a baby, a human, not a toy OP can hog.

Not weird at all. I bf so there was no choice in the matter, but if baby was ff, I'd still want to be able to do that myself. Your their mum. They've had their babies... They can be Grandparents and can have hugs and all the new squishy stuff but the actual caring and choices for your child is up to you. A lot of people on here obviously feel otherwise... Fair enough. But it's what's right for you.

She isn't gatekeeping?! She's already allowed them to come and stay in her home!

Fucking hell this thread is BATSHIT

Op take no notice.