To not let other people feed my FF baby?

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MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

Yessssss but it’s not just your DC, it’s also your DHs, why state my child? It’s our child.

Why ask AIBU, if you don’t want to know?

This is ridiculous and these comments are really pissing me off. You are so vulnerable when you’ve gone through labour and have a newborn. Let her feed her own baby! I exclusively breastfed and my ds is still very close to his dad and gps. Yes he does have a particularly special bond with me, his mum. Is that supposed to be a bad thing?

I was told this at the hospital but only for the first 1-2 weeks. Not 9+ weeks.

How is letting grandma give the occasional bottle going to cause any harm? It's pure selfishness.

Very OTT. You can't really refuse to let a grandmother feed her grandchild because she doesn't take out your rubbish for you! Well you can but it makes you a bit of an arsehole

No reason why you should let others do it if you don't want to. You may not be BF but you know how to get your baby to feed well, when she's drinking too fast, when she needs to be woken up a bit, when she needs a break. I found other people feeding my babies made a colicky evening more likely.

The majority of people on this thread know what it's like having a newborn. If she doesn't want Grandparents feeding baby, that's her (and DH's) choice but it isn't just her baby and she doesn't get to dictate or ''let'' DH feed baby on her terms only.

I totally understand this, I don’t think you’re being in any way unreasonable and am very surprised so many do.

I BF both of mine, and to me it brought a lot of comfort and stability, really steadied any anxiety, and I felt strengthened my bonds with my babies, to be the one who got that quiet time for feeding. If I had been FF I still would have wanted to have that role.

Your baby is just a newborn. It’s totally up to you what you feel ready for when. I imagine it will also be lovely to start allowing your wider family to join you and your DH in doing this, and seeing a new dimension to family life and your baby’s already growing relationships with grandparents etc, when you feel ready to, but in my opinion you shouldn’t feel rushed.

Bit why is it selfish? The grandma isn’t owed a bottle feed? the op stated she wanted the same bond as a breastfeeding mum. The grandma can help in other ways if she wants. Also 9 weeks is still very young.

How aggressive people are about this!

A mother feeling protective and wanting to feed her own baby is perfectly fine. No need to throw around accusations and insults.

I don't think they state the opposite, exactly.

I completely agree and I’m so glad I was able to breastfeed because I would have been the exact same if I formula fed, especially for the first six months and I would have to have had this backlash that the op is getting. Then again it is AIBU so not the nicest board! Parenting may have been better.

She can if she wants. It's not the end of the world.

It’s so sad! You do you op and ideally don’t look at this board anymore. Go and hug and feed your baby who is barely over two months old! 😢

If you were my mil and that was your reaction to my offering you hospitality for your pleasure ten days post op, I would totally invent reasons to keep you at arm's length.

I wasn't asking you, I was asking the OP.

I guess you can't help being selfish 🤷

Sounds a bit sad tbh, I can’t wait to see my parents as grandparents!

Wouldn’t have trusted DP’s mum to feed a tamagotchi, let alone a baby, but we are completely NC with her so at least I won’t have that problem.

This! How long will they sit and hold a plastic tea cup/ listen to long stories about obscure stuffed animals/ wait in the garden while favourite rocks and sticks accumulate at their feet? So many grandparents melt away when the boring reality sets in. And that's when it matters, not over the bottle feeding.

I think your ? key is stuck, try hoovering your keyboard or jiggling the dirt out with a cotton bud, good luck.

On a parenting course I attended the health visitors advised just one or two people feeding the baby in order to help with attachment.

His in-laws probably give a shit that she's recently given birth and hasn't just presented them with a new toy is probably the reality. Because she's their child.

Well, then women can't have it both ways can they?

They can't push the father out, believe they have the final say and 'let' them feed the baby or whatever it is on their own terms but then magically, 3 years and 2 years later when they are overwhelmed with a toddler and a baby suddenly expect the father to be equally involved and pull their own weight when it comes to caring for the children.

It’s batshit to me how this is the same mumsnet that also mutters the mantra “your baby your rules” and that people SHOULD be offering to do stuff whilst you recover and sit and bond with your baby (which you should)

definitely shouldn’t have posted in AIBU OP!

YANBU....completely understandable with such a young baby. And indeed usually recommended by MW that only mum and dad feed initially. Particularly when your little one has latch issues and you possibly are trying to pace feed. Ignore a lot of the comments OP...I think mumsnet is full of hard done by MIL's and the reasonable DIL's on here often get slated on these sort of posts.