To tell new lad this is my room

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

I know this is ridiculous but its really pissing me off Iv just started seeing someone new and he's been staying over and everything has been going great except I like to sleep with a fan on, the landing light on and the TV or something on my phone for background noise. he hates the fan and tv/phone being on he wants complete darkness and silence and wants to sleep with the window open. Aibu to tell him it's my room so it's tough 💩 how he likes to sleep.

You're plucking numbers out of thin air. That isn't how it works at all.

It's up to her and whoever she's with if she uses condoms I can't make her but she will 100% be going on the pill whether she likes it or not. Just FYI if your kids are telling u their using condoms their probably lying.

Your DD shouldn't even know of his existence, let alone have met him in the morning when she got up.

Was that how her father behaved with girlfriends when she was there? Is it normal in her world?

I will educate them but I won't be there I can't force teenagers to wear condoms

No it isn't!!

Her dad is in a long term relationship

Your sex life is front and centre of your life and it's there when they're with you!

I'm sorry but you really are trying to delude yourself

she will 100% be going on the pill whether she likes it or not

WTAF?

Just FYI if your kids are telling u their using condoms their probably lying

Some children are not having sex at all, though I dare say you won't believe this either.

One of my daughters is a SP and has been for as long as you have.

She rarely dates. She goes out with them when her DC are at their father's. She's never brought them home and if she's slept with them it's not at her house.
Her kids have not a clue.

It is absolutely not the norm to bring randoms home as soon as you've met them, sleep with them (without a condom) and introduce them to your children when you probably don't even know their surname!

I think the majority of teenagers are having sex it's just everyone has a good open and honest relationship with their kids so are oblivious to it at least my girls will feel comfortable coming to me without judgement

Just FYI if your kids are telling u their using condoms their probably lying.

But you're an adult and should know better.

DATE around. Not sleep around in your own home with your kids there!

I doubt SS would be impressed

You don't know him from a hole in wall!

Why are you so trusting of a stranger?

Because he's been really nice to me and he understands me

Wait, so OP is 100% sure her latest man isn't cheating, but a few of our husbands/partners of many years definitely are and it's naive to think otherwise. I give up.

There is so much wrong with this.

No parent should be forcing their child to take medication if they don’t want to. Especially not medication which can have significant side effects in young girls. The fact that you think this is acceptable is fucked up.

How you go from that extreme to it being up to her about condoms because you can’t make her is beyond me. Nobody is suggesting forcing her. I’m asking what your advice will be. “It’s up to you and your boyfriend” is terrible advice.

Good advice is based on the risks. It might no like this. The best chance of avoiding pregnancy and STIs is by using condoms and the pill. However, the pill has side effects and if she can’t take it then she must be religious about condoms. It is never up to the man. If a man doesn’t want to then he doesn’t get sex. Period.

I don’t have kids. Mostly because I was abused and scared of repeating the cycle. My heart breaks for your daughters.

Pages ago I asked what the child's father, SS, CPN knew about this stuff happening during contact

No response

Men who want to get close to children are often really nice to their mothers in order to get access to the children.

No.

People tend to post on MN when their relationship is in trouble.

MOST people in LT relationships can trust their partners so no, it's not a risk for most people in stable relationships.

Sadly, you're not used to those so your perception is skewed

Some are. The majority aren't. Certainly not under 16s.

Having a good, open and honest relationship with your children is very important. But it's also important to be their parent, and to model the kinds of behaviours that keep them safe and well. You're not doing this. You need to show them how to judge risk appropriately; you're not doing this.

On the one night with your daughter when you managed to cope without the "lad" in your bed, you spent your time missing him. You filled the gap in your bed with your daughter. I know she's the one who suggested it, but she has already worked out - based on the example you have set her - that feelings of abandonment and fear can apparently be assuaged by sharing a bed with someone.

No I'm not.

I'm old enough (just about) to be your grandmother.

My DH has never been unfaithful to me.

And nor have any of my serious boyfriends.

I am 100% positive

Oh bloody hell.

Well he knows he can't come anymore when she's here and he's still coming so what does that tell u. People keep going on about risk but the risk of me having a bf to my daughters is really small

But you don't know that