To tell new lad this is my room

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

I know this is ridiculous but its really pissing me off Iv just started seeing someone new and he's been staying over and everything has been going great except I like to sleep with a fan on, the landing light on and the TV or something on my phone for background noise. he hates the fan and tv/phone being on he wants complete darkness and silence and wants to sleep with the window open. Aibu to tell him it's my room so it's tough 💩 how he likes to sleep.

I put alarms on my phone now so that I don't forget any of my medication including the pill. I do know for sure he's not sleeping with anyone else he wouldn't do that

I think this is the norm for most single mothers

It really isn't. Most single mothers are busy being mothers. Of course that doesn't stop them dating, if they want to, but they are on the whole not sneaking their latest shag in while their children are asleep and then introducing them as "my friend" when they're still there in the morning.

Because you like sleeping with lights and tv on and he doesn’t. Sleeps a big thing. The only arguments which have been near relationship breaking with me and dp have been bed or sleep related.

You would literally die for them, but you won't stop bringing strange men back to your home and putting your 10 year old daughter at risk in the process. How does that work?

Iv said I'm not gonna have him there for a while when she stays over

I think your naive do you think single mums put the kids to bed and sit there with a horlicks doing a crossword

I know, and that's obviously a good start. But - and I know it's easier said than done if you're vulnerable - you need to stop shagging, just for the time being. You need to find ways to become okay with being on your own. You miss your current man more than you miss your daughter when you're away from them both. I don't believe that this is because he has a cock of gold - I think it's because you somehow believe that you need a man - any man - more than you need your children.

You have talked yourself into thinking that this current one is special after a fortnight, because you're trying to fill a huge gap in your own emotional landscape. The saddest thing is that you are damaging your girls in the process.

As for the Pill - people still become pregnant on the pill. He needs to use condoms as the very last thing you need is an unplanned pregnancy. I know you say he's not shagging anyone else, but you don't know him. He shagged you the first time he met you, so what's to stop him doing the same with someone else? He's clearly not one to wait.

The single mothers I know mostly put their children to bed, do some laundry, clear up the kitchen, have a glass of wine or a cup of tea, get the schoolbags etc ready if the children are younger, think about what they need for work the next day, and go to bed absolutely knackered. On the nights when their children are with their fathers, they mostly enjoy a bit of time to themselves or go out/stay in with friends etc.

I was a single mum for a long time, btw, so do have some experience of this.

Everyone needs to remember OP has bpd it makes relationships intense

That's almost exactly what I do. I've been single for several years and in that time I have dated quite a few people. Some seriously, some casually. In that time none of my children had ever met any of the men that I've dated in any capacity. And they won't unless the man and I are talking about getting married. My boys are adults now but my daughter is still fairly young and her safety is my top priority. If that means that I have to be single until she grows up, then that's what I'll do.

People, save your breath

But that's your choice to be alone not everyone wants that

Most people do not wait a year I guarantee if you did a thread hardly anyone would say a year I would say a couple of months max

No we didn't meet on tinder

I know him well enough

Nothing is gonna happen with me here

Your poor poor kids. They deserve better than this car crash of "parenting" from you.

They come "first"?!! Just after alcohol and drugs and an endless stream of random men you "have" to shag every night?

Social services need to up their game here, before you endanger your children's lives further.

And yet your daughter has met him in less than two weeks. Even if he is being introduced as a “friend” she is still meeting your latest fuck buddy - not boyfriend, which is even worse

No, I some want to be alone, I want what's best for my child. I clearly said that I have been dating but I don't let the men meet my daughter. Do you really not see the difference?

don't

You're right, because children never get molested by someone in the house if there's another adult in the house. That's exactly how it works. 😒