To tell new lad this is my room

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

I know this is ridiculous but its really pissing me off Iv just started seeing someone new and he's been staying over and everything has been going great except I like to sleep with a fan on, the landing light on and the TV or something on my phone for background noise. he hates the fan and tv/phone being on he wants complete darkness and silence and wants to sleep with the window open. Aibu to tell him it's my room so it's tough 💩 how he likes to sleep.

I'm a grown woman I can have sex with who I like

You can buy bug screens, it's just mesh that you attach to the inside of the window using velcro or magnets.

You could also use something like this instead of having the TV on:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Headphones-Bluetooth-Headband-Ultra-Thin-Meditation/dp/B0BVYD35FC/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=2SQJV6D1I5CK2&keywords=sleep+headphones+headband&qid=1684847931&sprefix=sleep+%2Caps%2C222&sr=8-4

I listen to all sorts of random stuff - radio, podcasts, but if it's tv shows you sleep best to then you could play them on your phone and bluetooth to the headband. That would also give you the option of dimming your screen so it's less disruptive to others.

I'm not really into the headband as I like to hear my surroundings but will definitely look at bug screens ty

I’m sorry it worked out like that. Does any part of you wish you’d taken the advice and not went there?

Not when you have kids you're supposed to be protecting and parenting.

None of this is normal in my experience. YABU.

100% I was going through a really bad time and he's always been there for me and protected me and I feel like I lost someone who was actually important to me

Well I just hope you're using protection.

I'm on the pill

She posted on her other threads that no man would agree to wear a condom. That is NOT true btw OP, anyone who doesn’t agree to wear one isn’t worth sleeping with. It’s a recipe for STIs not using them in casual relationships and you can get all different ones nowadays which are thinner for better sensation anyway.

💐

It was a hard lesson, but hopefully if you get overwhelming advice again, you maybe listen.

I usually do listen it just usually takes me longer then the average person 🙈

Have you been brought up on a fun fair or why is this circus necessary? No it’s not normal to sleep with lights and sound on.

Also a lot of people need to learn things from their own experiences. Not everyone will/ can just ‘take advice’.

You may think so but these things can have delayed effects.

And even if they are fine now, who knows what kind of trauma the next guy you bring home for a shag might inflict.

Step back. Stop exposing your kids to a succession of "friends". If you can't face a period of celibacy (which would probably really help you to work on yourself) then at least respect your kids enough not to bring men home while they are there.

Celibacy are you having a laugh I'm single obviously I'm gonna be seeing different lads

Well it is is normal for many

What protection are you using or are we only talking about me

I actually agree with most men on this condoms really do kill the mood

I am protecting and parenting my kids but they both have dads aswell

One of your children is ten! And you think they don’t know you are shagging randomers you’ve only been seeing for a week?

I hope someone in RL is looking out for those poor children.

Not as much as STIs do 🤷‍♀️ including HPV which can cause cervical cancer. You have kids, you need to keep yourself safe and healthy for them if not for yourself.

You're an alcoholic with BPD who's started drinking again and took an OD a few weeks ago. You were so drunk at a gathering over Easter where kids were present that you fucked your friends ex in the bathroom and 'everyone knew' what you'd been up to.

You're having unprotected sex with people you barely know on the regular, getting pregnant then having an abortion and you didn't know who the Dad is. You fucked your friends Dad who's known you since you were a child and you didn't see how completely creepy that was of him
to be trying to fuck his daughters friend he's known since was a child and saying he'd keep a secret. You thought that was him being protective of you and not just wanting to fuck a very damaged unwell vulnerable woman.

You're not able to protect yourself, let alone your kids.

Not as much as warts, discharge, pain and infertility. HIV might not be as high on your radar as it would have been on people's 30 years ago but it still isn't something you want. Crabs. Herpes. Chlamydia.

I don't like using them either but when I was having sex without being in a long term relationship I used them. If he was happy to pass on any shit from any other woman he hadn't used a condom with, I knew I could do better. Then in my long term relationship we got tested for STIs before stopping using them

If you refuse to protect your sexual health are you at least getting checked regularly?

Have sex with whomever you want, but don't make yourself physically ill for it. No orgasm is worth that.

Re the kids, given what you went through as a kid, maybe give more thought to who's in the house with your kids overnight whilst you're sleeping.

I remember this poster too. She was also being denied access to her youngest by the dad because of her irresponsible behavior but that thread got removed. Poor kids.