To wonder what runs through some people's heads sometimes?

[FattyAirways]

I was at a cafe enjoying breakfast. The cafe is big, got around 25 tables in. I was the only one in the cafe. A couple, came in, placed their order at the till and came and sat at the table right beside me! They had 20-odd other tables to choose from. My table wasn't in an enviable position in the cafe, no views out of the window, nothing special about this area in the cafe, yet they chose to do this. Why?

Were they foreign? Perhaps it's a cultural norm for them?

Ffs. I would’ve been fuming

Yes people that do this drive me mad, its like when you are on an empty bus and someone gets on and sits right in front / behind you, yes people will tell me its their favourite seat 🤣

or we went to the cinema once completely empty so didn’t need to choose where to sit, could sit anywhere, only people in there, one other family comes in and sits right in front of us! Again probably their “favourite seats” 😅

@Trez1510 genuine question, what cultural norm would you perceive this to be?

My only criteria for choosing a table is cleanliness. And it's very hard to fine a clean one with no stained chairs these days.

Literally nothing runs through their heads, it's automatic and psychologists call it flocking. It's because we used to be fish or something https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23041055/#:~:text=Abstract,explicit%20inter%2Dindividual%20recruitment%20signals.

Drives me mad, too. My mum and I were at Kew, enjoying the birdsong, sunshine and peace just after opening a few years ago. Another couple arrived, the man went in and the woman walked straight over to our table and said May be join you?”. She looked most affronted when my mum said “no” 😁

May we

When I was a bored teen in shopping centres I used to stand and stare up at the ceiling and be amused when others would stop and look. Yes I was a total pain in the arse.

This behaviour can also be observed in shops when someone will come and look at what you're looking at and then bugger off. They don't want it they're just driven to look in case it's something of evolutionary advantage.

Humans are like social herds in generally, need to interact or by nearby someone or some people,
Obviously exceptions to this, and dynamics variables depending on emotional well being ect.

Nobody can be island 🏝 all the time, we depend on each for basic necessities in life , food ect,

Oh I know! It's infuriating! And they usually have a small child with them that can't sit still!

Same with car parks, supermarket self service tills, outdoor picnic seating, etc. Drives me insane. Why can't people spread out a bit more? Fair enough when it's busy and you can't spread out, but even in virtually empty car parks, some muppet just has to come and park 6 inches from you!

OH is ECV due to having incurable cancer and on long term chemotherapy to control it, and is only just gaining confidence to get out and about after the covid isolations. We had a short break last week, and decided, for the first time in 3 years, to go into a cafe for lunch. We went in because it was literally empty (deliberately went in early before the lunchtime peak so it would be quieter for him). Picked a table in a corner, away from the counter and door, and then a family came and sat right next to us - literally all the other tables were empty. We got up and moved to another corner and it happened again with the next family that came in. It's really put him off trying again. We really hoped that people would leave a bit of space when they could easily do it after 2 years of the 2 metre "rule", but apparently not.

No idea of a specific culture where this would be a norm as my in-depth knowledge of all cultures is not complete 😁. It was just a suggestion as to a possible reason for their actions.

Your mum is to be admired! Were there other unoccupied tables available?

@Goodread1

Nobody can be island 🏝 all the time, we depend on each for basic necessities in life , food ect,

No one disputes that for things we actually "need" like the food production chain, but what's that got to do with parking 6 inches from another car in an empty car park, or using the self service till next to you when there are a dozen empty ones, or sitting next to you in an empty cafe? These people aren't part of your "essential" daily requirements of food, shelter, etc., they usually make no attempt to engage in conversation etc., so clearly don't want to chat. It's just really weird. Perhaps it's a severe lack of confidence that they're so "needy" and just have to be close to you for some deranged reason.

Parked the car in an empty parking area. It was a big space and I’d not parked close to the entrance. Came back and someone had parked so close to me that I could’nt get the car door open enough. I had to get in from the passenger side. Strange.

I did almost ask what the fuck they thought they were doing, but they were really rather quiet, the woman read the paper while I think the man just talked in hush tones to her. He had his back to me so I couldn't tell. I was furious though!

The car park one drives me to distraction. Why do they do it? I've been known to move my car if someone parks beside me when I'm still in it.

My worst one of these was when with pitched up on a really lovely rural campsite. We selected an isolated spot, it wasn't close to the loos or anything advantageous, there were no pitches as such - just a big open field. I think we went off for a walk and when we got back, there was a huge family tent set up immediately next to us. They were actually German so we did wonder if campsites elsewhere are more efficient in how you are meant to fill the space but who knows. Devastated we were but unfortunately too polite to move our tent away 😂

It's annoying as all hell but some people just like to be around other people. They don't have to be speaking to them, just the presence of other people makes the feel social. And safer, throwback to being in a pack.

Same with parking next to you, rather than an empty space, means they aren't isolated.

It's very annoying though. Some of us like space 🤣

To add when I went back to the car after about 20mins it was just my car and the close parked car in the parking area! It wasn’t busy at all.

Thank for the lol @Kleptronic. Because we used to be fish is brilliant.

Why did you choose your table? Under a fan? Heater? Maybe they liked the same thing about the area. It's not something I would do (I like to have space and would sit far away).

The car park one I kind of 'get'. If someone is parked by the entry I'm not going to park far away just because, especially if the car park will be filling up soon anyway. I'll always leave at least one space between my car and another in that situation though. In general, I prefer to park in the middle of a set of three parks. It's easier. Also possibly safety. At night I'll park close to the entry even if the rest of the car park is empty.

So what of us who actively do not flock by choice? Or were we the ones that evolved?

I dislike " flockers" just give me space 😫